Melania Trump calls White House "A Dump"

Written by Mike Peril

Saturday, 12 November 2016

image for Melania Trump calls White House "A Dump"
Melania welcomes other visitors at Trump Tower in Trump's absence

New York, NY - Melania Trump returned from her visit at the White House residence and called her new home "a dump." She refused to speak with her husband, President-elect Donald J. Trump, for the entire helicopter ride home, and resorted to silent treatment and communication solely by tweet.

Mrs. Trump was reportedly mortified when she met First Lady Michelle Obama during the White House tour and had to admit to her in person that she plagiarized Mrs. Obama's speech. She vowed to never plagiarize again, and blamed her misunderstanding on her Slovenian heritage, where it is considered a compliment to copy other people's works.

On the return trip home to New York City, Mrs. Trump tweeted, "New York is where I'd rather stay." She tweeted further, "I just adore a penthouse view . . . Dah-ling I love you but give me Park Avenue."

Mrs. Trump tweeted that she much prefers the "stores" over the "chores", and "Times Square" over "fresh air".

She tweeted that Central Park's "green acres" are best for her and her son.

Donald Trump agreed to come home on weekends.

In lieu of Melania Trump, Chris Christi has agreed to live with President-elect Trump in the White House and to take over all First Lady duties, including loss of consortium benefits. His "Miss Universe-like" platform will focus on bridge traffic jam prevention.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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