When Rudy Giuliani heard that Donald Trump planned to appoint head of the FBI James Comey to the US Supreme Court, Giuliani went ballistic, claiming that the job was promised.
Nah, Trump was reported as saying, adding that Comey gave him the White House, lock, stock and Air Force One, by holding crooked Hillary's feet to the fire with her lousy mail server for the last two years.
Besides, Comey also sent Martha Stewart to the clinker for insider trading. She should have taken full responsibility for my low ratings and failure on Celebrity Apprentice when she bombed on her program, The Apprentice: Martha Stewart.
Giuliani would not be pacified. He then demanded an appointment as head of the CIA.
Trump said that Vladimir Putin was getting that job. After all, Putin used to be head of the KGB and pitched in like a trooper with emails every time Trump's ratings started to sink. He also set up the rumors for Comey's letter about Huma Abedin, or whatever the woman's name.
There was one job left that Giuliani was willing to accept and that was head of the FBI.
Nope! Trump explained that that job would be going to Julian Assange, after as president, Trump pardoned Assange. Assange knew all about hacking and leaks, and he kicked in with the DNC leaks and Podesta's emails, and he has been eating tacos stuck in the Ecuador Embassy in London for the last five years.
"And those English tacos aren't so hot."
"They eat tacos in Mexico not Ecuador."
"Mexico, Ecuador, Portugal, they're all the same bag."
He went on to explain that while the Trump Tower tacos aren't exactly Michelin Star quality, they're better than English tacos and he planned to appoint Mr. Michelin to something in government to acquire at least one star for Trump Tower tacos.
So, I'm getting nothing? Giuliani wailed.
Giuliani was reminded that he was married three times, and they couldn't piss off Sarah Palin and the Evangelicals because of his history. But he'd make a perfect press secretary...He'll drive the press crazy talking all day.