Democratic Party Liberals Praise Trump Appointees

Funny story written by Keith Shirey

Tuesday, 22 November 2016

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"We are the party of the common man," recently said Sen. Chuck Schumer, leading Democrat in the U.S. Senate. And Rep. Lois Maybee (D) of Rhode Island stated, "You can count on us to protect the civil liberties of all Americans." Rep. John Johnson (D) of Kansas insisted last week, "We Democrats are not going to allow for the resumption of torture at Gitmo and CIA black sites abroad."

But now that Donald Trump is naming his appointees these liberal Democrats are changing their tune.

Trump's pick for CIA chief, Kansas Republican Rep. Mike Pompeo, an outspoken defender of CIA torture, who has called for the death penalty for NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden, and implied after the Boston bombings that "Islamic leaders across America" are "potentially complicit in these acts" because they supposedly refuse to speak out against terrorism (they actually have spoken out many, many times). He has attacked Muslims as a group.

California Democratic Rep. Adam Schiff one of the "liberal voices" in the house praised Pompeo as someone "who is willing to listen and engage," even if they have differences.

Michael Flynn, the former general has been tapped by Trump as his national security advisor. Flynn was instrumental in laying the groundwork for the Joint Special Operations Command's dirty wars in the Muslim world, and was critical of Obama for ending the use of torture and committing to not putting additional prisoners in Guantanamo Bay. He also says that Americans have a right to fear all Muslims. There are 1.6 billion Muslims in the world.

Rhode Island Sen. Jack Reed, the ranking Democratic member on the Senate Armed Services Committee and another liberal put out a statement saying that Flynn "served honorably" and that he respects him.

As "The Intercept" a left wing website has stated, "Trump has nominated some of the worst of the worst to serve in his cabinet - a rogue's gallery of apologists for torture, racial and religious discrimination, deportation, and all manner of abuses of civil and human rights."

But Senator Sara Bardon (D), another "liberal voice" from Michigan disagrees. "Gosh, we have to give Trump a chance. Let's not overreact and be overly critical. People change. I even believe that Trump's appointee for Chief of Staff, Steven Bannon can change from being a racist, White Supremacist, misogynist, anti-Muslim xenophobic fanatic and become a really nice guy. I'm sure he loves America."

And MSNBC liberal commentator Jane "Bimbo" Smyth said, "We here at our network want to normalize the Trump Administration. We see extreme divisiveness as a danger to the United States. It's easy for us to take this stance because we have no moral convictions. Besides, we have really neat election time graphics."

(MSNBC has fired left-leaning Phil Donahue, Keith Olbermann, Rev. Al Sharpton, Joy Reid, Ed Schultz, Martin Bashir, Krystal Ball, Abby Huntsman, Toure and Alex Wagner so far. Melissa Harris-Perry has resigned in disgust. She made it clear that she did not want to be a token figurehead, existing only to protect MSNBC corporate heads. Rumors have it that left-wing Laurence O'donnell may be fired. Those canned have been replaced with people who critics deride as "liberal weenies.")

Finally, liberal Edna Burp (D) NC said, "Too bad Hillary lost but we just spent a year witnessing the growth of a massive grassroots Bernie Sanders movement fueled by loathing of the party establishment. Thank God we shut that down. A democratic socialist! He could have destroyed American values. I'm all in favor of giving Trump a chance he should be better than that radical Bernie."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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