Trump Announces New Cabinet Appointees-Coincidentally, Most Are Former Celebrity Apprentice Contestants

Written by Al N.

Thursday, 10 November 2016

image for Trump Announces New Cabinet Appointees-Coincidentally, Most Are Former Celebrity Apprentice Contestants
Trump's only worry is, "Who to fire first?"

Trump Tower, NY Trump gave his 18th press conference in 4 days to announce more of his selections for his Cabinet.

"Many people have remarked that many of my selections came from my old TV show, Celebrity Apprentice. Well, I was secretly trying all those people out for my Cabinet. So I will be deducting the cost of this from my taxes. Among other things. If I ever get around to filing them. Anyways, here is the list of my appointees. Also, I'll admit I'm reemploying many of these people because I know how much fun it will be to fire them all again" said Trump. Trump's comment on each appointee is in parentheses.

Dept. of State-Dennis Rodman-("And he's going straight to North Korea!")

Dept. of the Treasury-Donald Trump, Jr. ("Just to make it stays in the family")

Dept. of Commerce-Howard Stern ("Because he promised to destroy all the tapes of when I was on his show")

Dept. of Agriculture-Clint Black ("I was torn between him and that other hayseed, Trace Adkins")

Dept. of Defense-Jesse James ("I think he'll be good because he's scary looking and that's good when you're going up against somebody")

Dept. of Homeland Security-Andrew "Dice" Clay ("Another position where you just want a tough-looking dude.")

Dept. of Energy-Gary Busey ("Gary might have his faults, such as being severely crazy, but he did do a great job in that Buddy Holly thing and he is the most energetic person I know!")

Dept. of Interior-Sharon Osborne ("I gotta stick a dame in here somewhere or I'll get in trouble and she's a pretty tough broad.")

Dept. of Housing and Urban Development-Sinbad ("I'm not sure what this department does, but I'm told it would be a good place to put my African-American.")

Dept. of Health and Human Services-Cheryl Tiegs ("Because I know she's made a lot of people feel better after looking at her!")

Dept. of Labor-Carnie Wilson ("Because she looks like she might go into labor at any time")

Dept. of Veteran Affairs-Jose Canseco ("I think maybe on a good day Jose could handle SOME kind of job if we keep an eye on him!)

My daughter Ivanka asked me to give her a Cabinet position and so she's Secretary of Fashion now."

Judge Judy will be joining the Supreme Court.

"I'll be throwing the rest of the jobs in a hat and picking them later when I have time" said Trump.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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