Written by Keith Shirey

Sunday, 27 November 2016

image for Mark Twain Returns To Earth, Says Whites "Drug Addicted Rapists"

Mark Twain befriended figures such as Harriet Beecher Stowe and Frederick Douglass, wrote that slavery dehumanizes both the slave and slaveowner, and wrote a series of articles protesting discrimination against Chinese immigrants and exposing police brutality in San Francisco.

Now Maude Buttercup, a 35-year-old housewife of Portland, OR who describes herself as a "medium, is allegedly channeling him.

In a trance state she presented Twain as saying that, in America, white people are not identified as an "identity" in the same way that being Black, Hispanic, and Asian are. "If White people saw themselves as an identity, then they could be treated the same way as Blacks. And just as Blacks are called upon to censure Black on Black crime in the ghetto, so too would Whites be asked to condemn the high rate of White on White crime in mostly White states who voted for Donald Trump."

"84 percent of White people killed every year are killed by Whites. When it comes to sexual assault, whites take the forcible rape cake. They are also more likely to kill children, the elderly, family members, their significant others, and even themselves!" stated Twain.

"Sociologists scrutinize "minorities" to see why Black on Black crime is so prevalent. But they should be studying Whites. So why is white on white crime so prevalent, one may ask? Is it the music they listen to? Is it the white divorce rate, resulting in more white children coming from broken homes? Perhaps it's the TV shows they watch, the violent sports they play or the endless war started by a White man, George W. Bush. These factors are used to explain Black violence but why are Whites immune from careful examination," he queried.

"If Whiteness was considered an identity, then every time a White man bombed an abortion clinic, engaged in mass murder in a movie theatre or on a college campus, or committed a hate crime, White people might have to be lectured on religious tolerance and called upon to denounce extremists in their midst."

"Consider the heroin epidemic, the deaths from overdosage were not concentrated in any region, and the users are both rich and poor. But the vast majority had one thing in common: They are white. Now what shall our analysis be? Tut tut, Now that the problems of drugs have noticeably reached the vanilla suburbs, questions and claims about morality have disappeared."

Where urban minority areas are thought to be immoral breeding grounds for drugs, suburban white areas are thought to be upstanding, respectable. But it is they who are hotbeds of heroin use. We need to ask ourselves why are Whites so immoral. It's obviously a failure of race," Twain laughed.

"How can Whites not be subject to the same analysis for their evil deeds and social problems as minorities? Obviously, White Americans can escape race. Soon White folk will be in a minority in America, then we'll see," Twain concluded.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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