Gross, Nebraska From the campaign trail, Trump delivered the news that he said has recently been discovered by historians hired by the Trump organization, that Bill Clinton was, in fact, Jack the Ripper!
"We have learned of some documents that will irretrievably prove that, while he was President of the United States, Bill Clinton used a prototype of a time machine invented by a consortium of Linus Pauling, Stephen Hawking, and Brian Mays in the 1990s to go back to the 18th Century, in the Whitechapel area of London, to commit the Jack the Ripper murders.
"In fact, when we submit the proof, I think you'll all agree that it couldn't be anyone else!" trumpeted Trump.
