Move To Drug Test Gun Owners In Open Carry States

Funny story written by Keith Shirey

Friday, 18 November 2016

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31 states in the U.S. allow citizens to openly carry their firearms. In 10 of these states , someone who applies for welfare cash assistance through the Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF) has to be screened and tested for substance abuse. And if she tests positive, she won't receive benefits.

But in these 10 states democrats in the state legislatures have introduced bills that provide that before one can get a permit to openly carry firearms they too must be drug tested.

GOP legislators are pushing back saying that needy families who need money to help buy medicine and food are not the equivalent of people who want to display firearms.

Said Peter J. Smirch, (R) of the North Carolina assembly, "Many welfare women are probably on drugs and don't deserve welfare, even if their kids are hungry at night because that will teach kids a lesson. But men who need to show a gun to compensate for their emotional insecurities aren't the same as hungry kids. That's a false equivalency, see? You betcha."

Other Republican legislators are retreating from their former support of drug testing for welfare recipients.

Pete "Bull" Johnson of the Texas Senate is one. "Hell, I don't know, it just stands to reason that we'd better not drug test anyone to be consistent in drug testing applications."

"But the major point I think is that a lot of guys who want to open carry smoke weed. And, of course, thousands die every year of overdose on hard drugs showing that drug use is widespread in the Lone Star state. A lot of Texans will fail a drug text. They're mostly good folks. I think they should open carry assault rifles if they want," said Bull.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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