CLEVELAND--In a move Vatican officials are calling "purely coincidental," to the Chicago Cubs' victory in the World Series, Jesus Christ, Son of God and Savior of Humanity, left His place at the right hand of the Father early Thursday morning, and has returned to Earth to judge the living and the dead.
"From what we have heard from the Prince of Peace, our Lord's return was always marked to occur on November 3, 2016, and any insinuation that the Second Coming is related in some way to the Cubs breaking their 108-year long championship drought is entirely unfounded," a representative for Pope Francis told reporters. "The timing of His arrival with the Cubs' dramatic 10 inning victory over the Indians is completely incidental; as every member of the faithful knows, the Lamb of God is and always has been a devoted follower of the New York Yankees."
The Vatican officially remains mum as to whether the Nazarene's return is related to Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump's recent surge in the Florida polls.
"The Holy See makes no comment as to developments that may or may not herald the ascension of the Antichrist and lead to the initiation of the final battle between Good and Evil," the spokesman tersely replied before ending the interview.