Kanye Only Speaking With Doctors Using Auto-Tune Microphone

Funny story written by Paul Blake

Saturday, 26 November 2016

image for Kanye Only Speaking With Doctors Using Auto-Tune Microphone
A frazzled Kim posts a Twitter selfie from her husband's bedside.

Los Angeles, CA - After his recent concert meltdown, rapper Kanye West is being treated for an extreme case of the 'Rubber Ramada Blues' at UCLA hospital. His Doctors state that he is 'nuttier than a fruitcake' and that he will only speak to them using his robot-voice mic.

"We usually have to listen to a long, boring barrage of synthesized insults before he gets to his point," one of his nurses told reporters. "The other day, he wanted scrambled eggs for breakfast, but none of us could understand the words 'scrambled eggs' through the auto-tune mic, which made him quite agitated, causing even more auto-tune. Then he said that the eggs were 'too runny,' which was even harder to understand. Honestly, it was endless. He demands that the lights are turned down low, and sits us on a row of seats while he stands on his bed and barks meal orders at us in that pitchy, electronic voice. Yeah, it's as annoying as it sounds.

While some of the doctors and nurses admit to being fans of Kanye's music before his latest trip to crazy-town, most have grown weary of the routine, and none of them are willing to fork over nearly a thousand dollars to sit front row at one of his 'bedside concerts.'

"His management company tried to charge us full price for the experience, telling us that, 'Kanye don't play for free.' But in the end, we feel that the hospital staff should not be charged to attend these mini-concerts, since we usually end up loading him with enough sleepy juice that he rarely reaches an encore," said UCLA hospital's spokesperson. "Believe us, even the most tone-deaf Kanye fan could only take so much of this."

"He's totally going to lose my vote for the 2020 Presidential Election if he keeps it up," said his lead psychiatrist. "I just don't think America is ready for an auto-tune State Of The Union address."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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