Team USA Disappointed With Olympic Medal Haul

Written by Sidney Bollocks

Tuesday, 7 August 2012

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Team USA Shooting Bronze Medallists

The USA Olympic Team has expressed disappointment in its medal haul at the London 2012 Games.

Team USA manager, Barry Obamama, said "It's not the number of gold medals we won that bothers us, it's more about the events we did not do so well in." He went on, "Take the shooting events for example, we have only three golds and are second to the Republic of Korea. Now, who would have thought that? Most Americans are shooting before they can walk. It's in our blood. But still, it seems we just can't get our best shooters to an Olympic Games and they remain at home, back in the US."

USA Olympic officials, along with the support of the NRA, are believed to be petitioning the International Olympics Committee regarding the introduction of a new event. A source close to the negotiating team told us, "We are hopeful that the IOC will approve a new indoor shooting event, which will allow for the use of .223 calibre, automatic and semi-automatic assault rifles. The indoor facility is likely to be based on the 'killing house', in which the SAS train at their Hereford base in the UK. The facility will be given a different theme for the early rounds and finals. Suggestions so far include a cinema complex and a Sikh temple".

A spokesman for the IOC declined to comment, until his comments had been approved by the NRA.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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