Stocks Surge on World's Clean Slate

Funny story written by Jerry Chen

Tuesday, 21 August 2012

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"Mo' debt, mo' problems," raps President Obama as he explains the world forum decision.

NEW YORK, New York - U.S. and European stocks advanced as world leaders decided on Monday to cancel all world debts to start economies over with a clean slate.

The concept of countries cancelling their world debt has been popular among those who support ending world poverty.

Some economists believed that pressures to repay created a burden on poor countries and made hunger problems worse.

However, the issue of poverty was never mentioned during the forum on Monday.

"Our economic problems have been centered around the issue of debts," said World Bank president Jim Yong Kim.

Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke and European Central Bank president Mario Draghi were among the strongest supporters of the plan.

"The U.S. national debt at almost 16 trillion dollars is a pretty large debt," said Bernanke. "No one likes owing money."

Draghi agreed and suggested that the plan would relieve the European debt crisis.

Stocks around the world rose on investor confidence. The MSCI All-Country World Index (SPX) added 60 percent.

Furthermore, a Gallup poll shows that Americans were strongly satisfied with the decision.

Gallup reports that over 90% of Americans thought the decision made their lives better off.

"We've been tired of hearing about our huge debt and I think that's what's been holding our economy back," said Joe.

"Now I'm really gonna enjoy the next few months," the small business owner added, fully aware that the U.S. will still have a debt of over a trillion dollars within a year after the debt cancellation.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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