Written by queen mudder

Friday, 31 August 2012

image for 99% of tabloids' royal family bollocks sourced to bigamist Camilla
Oh dear, still actually married to Lord Ashcroft, eh?

London - Cringe-making stories about royal humbug are being lapped up by red tops deprived of phone-hacked stuff.

And most of the rubbish is coming from Camilla, doyenne of Palace bollocks and other unsavory crap.

At an editorial meeting of QM-NewsCorpse journos this morning the awkward matter of HRH's bigamy popped up, zit-like, once again.

Reporters were reviewing footage of that 'if anyone knows of any lawful impediment...' rant by the Archbishop of Canterbury as he blessed Charles' second fake wedding in 2005.

The fly-in-the-royal-ointment remains that Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall 'is still legally married to Lord Ashcroft', the former Tory Party deputy chairman and notorious tax dodger.

The couple were married in the late 1970s by Dr Rowan Williams and spawned two brats - widely believed to be the Candy Brothers who blagged their way in to megabux property development by tapping Ashcroft's Belize Bank riches.

"She's one helluva bigmouth with delusions of grandeur," a constitutional expert warned today.

"Wanna swap pics of her with Mrs Putin, frolicking in a Bloodyvostock hot tub circa 2001?"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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