London - Someone has told her that Friday's 15th anniversary of Princess Diana's death 'will be a double whammy' in royal RIP terms.
And that the day's Full Moon is a portent of HM's own demise.
"Bloody stuff and nonsense if you ask me," Prince Philip has commented, "daft gal's so damn superstitious she's wearing lucky rabbits feet instead of ear-rings.
"Should make the Paralympic Opening Ceremony a site for four-eyes - er...sore eyes!"
Irrational feelings of her own impending death have seen the Queen order the Princess Diana Fountain drained and concreted over 'to weaken the dead woman's hex'.
But a change of medication for chronic conditions 'like congenital paranoia' and Queen Mother-ish bunions have done little to calm HM's fears.
"Ahem. The Queen will most definitely not drop dead on this Friday," Palace spokesperson Lord Luce-Cannon explained, "because we're all betting on September 11th."
Nevertheless online bookmaker Aintgottaprayer.con is still offering odds of 8/13FAV for Friday's long-distance heart attack stakes.
You can blame more lurid Prince Harry revelations if you need an excuse.
Or the power of lunar forces over the long running royal hoax.
