Lance Armstrong announces new challenge after doping charges

Funny story written by radiogagger

Monday, 27 August 2012

image for Lance Armstrong announces new challenge after doping charges
Shine on, Shine on Harvey Moon

Seven times Tour De France winner Lance Armstrong today addressed the media for the first time since revealing he will not fight the doping charges brought against him by the USADA (US Anti-Doping Agency), and instead he will actually be cycling to the moon as a tribute to his uncle Neil Armstrong and to raise money for his cancer foundation.

At an emotional press conference, Lancey told the assembled hacks "I'm gonna cycle to the moon! Yeah. For Neil. RIP Neil. I looked up to you. I want you to be proud of me, and this is what I have to do. I can no longer fight the claims and charges brought against me, who is this ADA women anyway? What authority does she have to take my medals and jerseys away?"

Armstrong continued "They can take away my Tour De France titles but they can never take away my Tour De Force. I'll see you on the Moon. One small bicycle ride for man, one huge bicycle ride for mankind".

Bradley Wiggins Olympic Gold medallist and first British competitor to win the Tour De France commented on twitter "I was planning to cycle to the moon, but doctors advised me the lack of oxygen would not be good for my sideburns. Good luck to Lance".

It is thought Lance will take a team of athletes for support, including 100 metre runners Ben Johnson and Linford Christie.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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