Elton John Says He Hates Madonna

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 7 August 2012

image for Elton John Says He Hates Madonna
Elton John says that Madonna should have retired five years ago. (Photo courtesy of David Letterman).

LONDON - Elton John did not take too kindly to Madonna insinuating that Lady Gaga had gotten the idea for her song "Born This Way" from Madonna's song "Express Yourself."

The 65-year-old British singer/songwriter recently performed at Liverpool's St. Blimey Hall before a sell-out crowd.

Afterwards he was interviewed backstage by Neville Twickenbuck of Tickety Boo News. He asked him if the rumor that he had stated that Madonna needs to retire was true.

Sir Elton grinned like a well-fed duck and remarked that the rumor was as true as the thousands of freckles that cover Lindsay Lohan's body.

He went on to say that he hates Madonna and added that she has all of the personality of a wet Kleenex. He giggled and pointed out that if cellulite was gold she would literally have a damn gold mine.

Elton has made it known that he thinks the world of Lady Gaga and recently told Piers Morgan that if he was not gay he would marry her and have a bunch of little monsters.

He took a sip of his Onion Margarita and declared that Madonna, whom he refers to as the "Material Grandmother," has the brains of a Cheeto.

SIDENOTE: Elton John recently wrote in an article that appeared in The Cucamonga Chit Chat Chronicle that the gap in Madonna's upper teeth has gotten so big that she can literally eat a banana without opening her mouth.]

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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