Sidebar of Shame Throwaway Celebrity Gossip 29th August 2012
Curvy Christina Aguilera squeezes her body into a VERY tight black dress to film new music video XXX Tina? 'Martine McCutcheon is a manipulative, evil b***h - destructive and cruel': By her best friend and former chief bridesmaid. Sounds like the perfect Eastenders character! Spice Girl Geri Haliwell and comedian Russell Brand an item? The perfect couple! Well at least while they're tog...
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Football Gossip & comments 29th August 2012
Liverpool manager Brendan Rodgers has warned Stewart Downing that the winger may have to convert to left-back to have any future at Anfield. (The Guardian) Its left-back or left-out. Downing's choice really. Dennis Wise is among a large number of applicants for Coventry City's vacant managerial post. (BBC Coventry & Warwickshire) There's a lot of cab drivers around London who would have...
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Famous Spoof writer goes down with E Coli disease without eggs on his face!
A very famous (infamous) spoof writer has been be-smitten with E Coli disease after continually consuming rotten eggs and Stella Artois after the evening Spoof curfew. His lovely wife noticed a disorder in his normal behaviour because after devouring...
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Football world abuzz with London merger plans
The footballing world held its breath last night when the plans were revealed of two of Londons oldest clubs to tie the knot and move in together, but not get married, because its not actually allowed yet. Brentford FC and Barnet FC today admitted...
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The Lamp Post
What a marvellous invention. Pavel Yablochkov certainly knew his onions when he decided to hang some lamps from a stick and light up his sewage strewn alleyway. No more treading dog shit all over the Kazak rug and giving the baby thread worm. Yes Pavel my old son, you did us a big favour. The metal pole that changed the lives of people all over the world is just as interesting today as would ha...
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Alien hybrid remains found preserved in Triassic amber
New York - Pre-Cretinaceous Era arthropod traces have dominated the amber fossil debate until a recent discovery in the Italian Dolomites of an alien species of pre-human fossils. This week's revelations from the New York Museum of Ancient Natural...
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Sidebar of Shame Throwaway Celebrity Gossip 28th August 2012
Cameron Diaz has perfected her dressed down traveling style as she prepares to turn 40 Cameron turning 40?! OMG, its like the time you realise your getting old when Baby Spice turned 30 and dropped two kids... We're going commando. . . Facebook group strips in support of Prince Harry after naked Las Vegas photo furore Well it does look hot over there in Afghanistan As Prince Harry causes h...
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Transfer Window: Joey Barton move to Marseille breaks down
Joey Barton broke down in tears today as details emerged that his on/off transfer to Marseille in France was OFF. A broken hearted Barton tweeted today "Been forced to go back training with the kids and fellow Taliban members at 2pm today..."...
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Prince Harry defends right to hang Rupert Murdoch
Bonny Prince Harry, currently standing in as Caretaker King due to family illnesses and honeymoons, today defended the controversial decision to order the hanging of newspaper publisher Rupert Murdoch. Harry took the keys to Buckingham Palace whil...
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Excitement in Norwegian Rubbestadneset
Inhabitants of the Norwegian town Rubbestadneset had an exciting moment today as the local traffic light on a crossroad suddenly started working. This light usually remains off due to the low amount of traffic going past the crossroad. Today howev...
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Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson fans combine strength in 'moon walking on the moon' attempt
London-The Neil Armstrong Fan Club (NAFC) and the Official MJ Fan Club (OMJFC) are raising funds to send a part of their members to the moon and make an attempt at the world record 'moon walking on the moon'. They have calculated to need about £1...
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Queen's mental decline blamed on bong hit decades
London - Mental slippage and cognitive retardation have wreaked havoc on HM's sunset years after decades Commonwealth ganja dependence a royal source said today. Palace quacks' insistence on bleeding her with leeches first identified the scale of...
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Republicans Swallowed Whole by Giant, Flying Snatches
There are reports that male Republicans are being attacked and swallowed up by giant vaginas. The flying sex organs have been spotted in several major cities across the U.S. In what appears to be a kind of subversive sting operation, the female genit...
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Albert Fittle
Albert Fittle dragged his arthritic body from under the duvet and made his way to the bathroom. This epic journey happened at least three times a night. He had the idea of attaching a bicycle Inner tube to his member and siphoning off into a bucket beside the bed, he changed his mind after realising the tube might get twisted during his unsettled sleep and end up with an explosion and a sho...
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Assange fears embassy apartment block 'arson attempt' to smoke him out
London - An upstairs apartment dodgy bong incident or scented candle mishap could see Julian Assange 'rescued' by UK firefighters from the Ecuador embassy's ground floor spiderhole. The fugitive from justice fears that Vienna Convention diplomatic...
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David Ortiz Takes His Achilles Heel to the Bank
On again, off again, David Ortiz must be off his feet for the remainder of the season. He thinks he may come back for a day or two, just to show the Red Sox what they'll be missing next year. The man who was insulted by the one year contract he si...
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Shock as new operator for East Coast Mainline trains announced
There was shock and horror on the faces of both the Sir Richard Branson/Stagecoach consortium and the First Group when it was decided by the government that they were now not awarding the east coast mainline rail franchise to either of them. It wa...
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Lindsay Lohan Fears She's Starting To Look Like Jessica Simpson
VENICE BEACH - Lindsay Lohan actually went a week without having an automobile accident. The much troubled starlet says that she is trying to keep away from some of her friends who are a bad influence on her. Lohan mentioned Paris Hilton, Chelsea...
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Football Gossip & comments 28th August 2012
Joey Barton: My heart is already in Marseille. (BBC Sport) Who knew that Joey had a heart? Tweet from Gary Lineker, BBC Sport "Proper Sunday. Football, roast for lunch, bottle of Lynch Bages '86 and more football" No Walkers Crisps? Darren Bent helps with police probe as cop cousin 'stole cash from dead' (The Sun) His cousins name is PC Richard Bent. aka Dick Bent. Scottish Cup: Ran...
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