Derek Hough Denies The Gay Rumors

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Friday, 10 August 2012

image for Derek Hough Denies The Gay Rumors
Derek says that his favorite pair of dancing shoes are extremely manly looking. (Photo provided by Bruno Tonioli).

WEST HOLLYWOOD - Derek "The Dancing Dude" Hough has said that ever since he started dancing at a very young age people have naturally assumed that he rode sidesaddle.

He says that nothing could be farther from the truth. The Dancing With The Stars dancer went on to say that just because on several occasions he has been seen dancing with fellow DWTS dancer Mark "The Lark" Ballas does not mean that he does not like girls.

Hough stressed that last year he dated British singer Cheryl Cole and the two enjoyed lots and lots of passionate mattress merriment.

The 27-year-old recently spoke with Vodka Vermicelli of iRumors and told her that he is currently dating the stunningly attractive Welsh singer Katherine Jenkins.

And although Derek did not go into detail he kind of hinted that he has certainly gotten past third base with the extremely talented and beautiful "Kay-Jay," as Dancing With The Stars judge Bruno "The Gaytalian" Tonioli calls her.

Hough expressed to Miss Vermicelli that if he was gay he would certainly be doing a lot of swishing, swaying, lisping, and basically acting very feminine like Carson Kressley, Clay Aiken, or Elton John.

Miss V immediately pointed out that his remarks were only helping to perpetuate gay stereotypes.

Derek grinned, rolled his eyes, and replied, "Hey, if the open-toed pump fits wear it."

In Olympic News. The nation's "First Mama" Michelle Obama said that she loved attending the London Olympics and added that she has fallen in love with collared green crumpets.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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