Wisconsin Style Cheese Fart Operation Not Covered By Obamacare

Funny story: Wisconsin Style Cheese Fart Operation Not Covered By Obamacare

BILLINGSGATE POST - As a countermeasure to Paul Ryan's plan to overhaul Obamacare, the White House announced today that the noxious cheese farts emanating from the butts of Wisconsin Cheeseheads in this dairy state will not be covered by what is know...

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The Honourlympics is about to begin

Funny story: The Honourlympics is about to begin

In a shock revelation, Sebastian (Lord) Coe has announced a new competition that will feature heavily on our TV screens, newspaper front pages and social media for the next few weeks. "As soon as the Paralympics is over" states Lord Coe, "we will...

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Britain has no sailors for our subs - emergency recruitment planned!

Funny story: Britain has no sailors for our subs - emergency recruitment planned!

The United Kingdom armed forces have been decimated by recent cuts with unforeseen consequences. An average nuclear-powered hunter-killer sub requires a crew of 76 and a Trident sub needs a crew of 142 men and women. The above numbers do not in...

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Dallas cowboys told Salvator Mundi is not for sale

Funny story: Dallas cowboys told Salvator Mundi is not for sale

Texas - The reported $192 million 'transfer fee' targeting a reclusive Lily Pond Lane, East Hampton art buff has been rubbished as wildly optimistic pie-in-the-sky. Leonardo Da Vinci's fabulous Salvator Mundi dazzled the art world at London's Roya...

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Van Persie Sectioned After "Little Boy Inside Me" Ramblings

Funny story: Van Persie Sectioned After "Little Boy Inside Me" Ramblings

Manchester United new boy Robin Van Persie has been sectioned under the mental health act. The shocking news comes after Van Persie claimed a little boy inside of him helps him make hard decisions in his life. United chiefs are said to be furio...

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Pundits: Well, in a legitimate democracy, Todd Akin would never be elected

WASHINGTON, D.C.--Missouri Congressman and Senate candidate Todd Akin's comment that pregnancy would not occur in a "legitimate rape" has been met with widespread condemnation from Democrats and Republicans, prompting speculation Akin's Senate run is...

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Man Utd Sign Raphael Sanzio for Undisclosed Fee

Funny story: Man Utd Sign Raphael Sanzio for Undisclosed Fee

It was announced, yesterday, that Manchester United have signed the 14th century artist Raphael Sanzio from FC Munchen Gladbach for an undisclosed sum. Rover's manager Fergus Alexson was said to be delighted with the team's new acquisition, having...

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Part 3 of Many: Stuck in Therapy with Failed TV Hosts

Therapist clicks on Dictaphone following session. No new people. Joan Rivers kept bringing her daughter and dog, and we had to kick her out. The daughter has mommy issues: not my field. Arsenio Hall got another show, and was so eager to book Bell Biv Devoe that he skipped out the door. "I'm so glad he has to suffer no more," said Ann Curry. "The world was unfair to him." We've got a...

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Is Vagina Magical

Funny story: Is Vagina Magical

The International Society of Gynecologists made an observation that whenever the word vagina was used in any of their leaflets or advertising the response to that advertising was overwhelming. Dr Peak A Boo, a world renowned gynecologist said, "...

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Hillary Clinton Hints Extradition Swap: Assange For Bush Cheney Plus Chevron Execs

Funny story: Hillary Clinton Hints Extradition Swap: Assange For Bush Cheney Plus Chevron Execs

Thanks to our intrepid roving journalist Pepe Warezabar, we have breaking news on a deal to move Assange direct to the US, eliminating the Swedes entirely. Pepe and Hillary Clinton have known each other since the Arab Spring in Egypt, and most recently along the border of Syria-Turkey Hillary greatly admires Pepe's ability to scour out the best saloons in any area. The following interview too...

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New York Giants: Role Models for Bullies Everywhere

Tom Coughlin of the New York Giants may be wondering if his puerile Super Bowl team is actually better suited to high school level. The bullying video of one teammate dousing another in a vat of ice water smacks of juvenile antics. With pro ath...

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Assange sprung from Ecuadorian Embassy

Funny story: Assange sprung from Ecuadorian Embassy

London, England. Wikileaks advocate, Julian Assange, has managed to secrete himself out of the Ecuadorian embassy, only to find his travels curtailed when the laundry bag he hid in was dropped at the local laundromat where Pakistani laundry hands dis...

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Ron & Fred: Multiculturalism.

Funny story: Ron & Fred: Multiculturalism.

"What was all that abaht Fred, you've gone n upset that Irish gaffer right good n proper." "Paddy the bloody plonker 'e is. Stands there tellin' me I'm a raceeist just 'cause I tells 'im I don't wanna pint o' Guinness. Twat!" "Gotta be careful these days Fred, yer can't go rahnd makin' racist remarks mate." "Raceeist remarks? I was up at the the bar t' get me rahnd in, Paddy comes along t...

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Red Sox Hear Bulldog Boolah Boolah, not Boo Birds

The Red Sox have Harvard University across the Charles River to consult, but they went instead to New Haven to find a Yale locksmith to help to secure the team. For the first time since the 1880s in major league baseball, the pitcher and catcher w...

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Australia To Introduce Personality Testing To Identify Dangerous Dogs

Funny story: Australia To Introduce Personality Testing To Identify Dangerous Dogs

In an attempt to curb attacks on people by dangerous dogs, the Australian Veterinary Association (AVA) has proposed the introduction of research into conducting personality tests for canines. AVA spokesman, Jake Russell, told us "We have two issue...

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Curiosity on Mars didn't kill the cat, it zapped a Martian $2,5 billion rock!

Funny story: Curiosity on Mars didn't kill the cat, it zapped a Martian $2,5 billion rock!

Sensational photos coming back from Mars have proven that "Curiosity" doesn't only kill cats; it zaps Martian stones too! Scientists at NASA were wetting their pants as these historic photos reached their computer screens. They fell into each othe...

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Queen Ordered to Muzzle Corgis

Funny story: Queen Ordered to Muzzle Corgis

HM Queen Elizabeth II has been ordered to muzzle her corgis in public places and has been summoned to appear at the Central London Magistrates Court, in order to answer a charge under the Dangerous Dogs Act. The move follows a vicious attack by tw...

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Life - diminishing utility

Human infant is, in fact, born as a helpless creature. The baby lacks any inherited mechanism for behavior. However, the child gradually learns how to behave by means of an educational mechanism known as culture. This cultural mechanism teaches the child skills, knowledge and the accepted norms of dealing with people and the supernatural forces surrounding man. Culture is no longer believed to be...

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My Senior Moments: W/E: 19th August 2012

Funny story: My Senior Moments: W/E: 19th August 2012

Monday 13th Aug * Up and at em this morning - feeling better than for a long time. Medicated, ablutionised, and over the road to see Margaret, looking good. * Walked to Bulwell, got some nosh in, and bussed home to the hovel. * Bit of bother late on staying awake, and food came back up. Tuesday 14th Aug * Again, despite proper kip, I felt okay this morning. * Medications, ablutions, diarie...

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Selected Political News for W/E 19th August 2012 + comments

Funny story: Selected Political News for W/E 19th August 2012 + comments

Monday 13th Aug Topic: Politics - Holidays Headline "Cameron, Clegg and Miliband head off on post-Olympics holidays" Source: BBC News Extract: David Cameron, Nick Clegg and Ed Miliband are heading off on holiday, in a post-Olympics political exodus. Both Mr Cameron and Mr Clegg are reportedly travelling to Spain for their break - where the Lib Dem leader will be visiting his wife's family.

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Selected Nottingham News for W/E 19th August 2012 + comments

Funny story: Selected Nottingham News for W/E 19th August 2012 + comments

Monday 13th Aug Topic: Charity - School holidays Headline "Nottingham food bank opened for school holidays" Source: BBC News Extract: A new food bank aimed at helping families during the school summer holidays has opened in Nottingham. The NG7 food bank was set up by volunteers following reports people were walking from the city centre to another food bank in Beeston. The new service giv...

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Curiosity Kills Rover

The Curiosity Rover died yesterday while chasing an unidentified particle on Mars, the National Aeronautic and Space Agency reports. Physicists have not yet classified the particle that killed Curiosity, but photos NASA received shortly before he...

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Mitt Romney To Take Ann Coulter's Advice and Shave His Head

Funny story: Mitt Romney To Take Ann Coulter's Advice and Shave His Head

ASHTABULA, Ohio - Mitt Romney has reportedly confided to one of his closest aide's that the time has come for him to finally make a decision regarding his much talked about hairdo. Romney said that his very close friend and fellow Republican Ann "...

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Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie: "No Presents Please"

Funny story: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie: "No Presents Please"

NEW YORK CITY - After seven years of living together without the benefit of a marriage license Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have finally decided to make their relationship legal. The couple stated that the reason why they decided to become husband...

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Charlie Sheen Comforts Evelyn Lozada

Funny story: Charlie Sheen Comforts Evelyn Lozada

LOS ANGELES - Charlie Sheen has certainly seen his share of ups and downs on the roller coaster of the marital world. Sheen confessed to Barbara Walters on The View that many times in his marriages and/or relationships he has felt like he was noth...

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Football Gossip & comments 20th August 2012

Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 20th August 2012

West Ham co-owner David Sullivan has revealed the Hammers still owe more than £10m to Sheffield United over the "Carlos Tevez affair" (Daily Mirror) They're repaying at 50p per week. Manager Roberto Mancini has been ordered by Manchester City's Abu Dhabi owners to stop his public attacks on football director Brian Marwood. (Sunday People) Mancini has decided to go back to the anonymous lett...

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Nonagenarian Couple Celebrates Their 75th Wedding Anniversary

Funny story: Nonagenarian Couple Celebrates Their 75th Wedding Anniversary

Kissimmee FL: A lavish anniversary party was held at Disney World for Betty and Harold Smith originally from Minot ND, currently retired to Tampa FL, having been married to each other for 75 years. The celebration was held at a hotel in the Magic...

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V Festival performers refused permission to use Olympic Lanes

Celebrity musician and X-Factor Chav, sorry Judge, was fuming today after being told she and her entourage could not use the Olympic Zil lanes to get from Stafford to Chelmsford to perform her new hit single on stage. The cousin of Dappy blew a fu...

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