There were 698 spoof news stories published in April 2012. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Angelina Jolie Explains Her Upskirt Photos
NEW YORK CITY - Angelina Jolie was in New York City on a promotional tour for her brand new line of perfume named Scent of Jolie. As the actress was getting out of a cab in downtown Manhattan several members of the Big Apple paparazzi managed to s...
Read full storyThe List of Ten Television Reality Shows That Were Rejected For 2012
HOLLYWOOD - The Television Coalition For Reality Show Development has just announced ten shows that have been rejected for 2012. Armstrong Jimmy Pennypocket senior executive director in charge of TTCFRSD, or TTC as it is known for short, stated that every year they are literally sent hundreds of reality show videos that producers hope get picked up. Pennypocket noted that usually TTC is righ...
Read full storyTen Little Known Facts About Tonight Show Host Jay Leno
Jay Leno says that he loves hosting The Tonight Show so much that he plans on doing it when he is well into his 80s even if he has to do the stand up monologue using a walker. He recently told Carolina Chipotle of Bedroom Pillow Talk that if he is ever fired by NBC that he would possibly consider burning down The Tonight Show studio. Leno acknowledged that he knows it will probably mean that...
Read full storyTexas Nude Maid Service Being Looked Into By The Texas Rangers
LUBBOCK - The Texas panhandle city of Lubbock is noted for sorghum, tumbleweeds, prairie dogs, Texas Tech University, and for being the birthplace of Buddy Holly. But today, it is making national and international headlines due to the fact that T...
Read full storyBubba Watson, Dr. Watson, and IBM Computer Watson Star in New TV Show
It's a Reality Show. Its name, you ask? The Three Watsons, of course! Early reports say that the three celebs are having a difficult time getting along with each other. No problem, experts say, as controversy fuels Reality TV. But maybe not...
Read full storyNASA Asks Americans for Mars Mission Ideas; Martians Respond
Ask and you shall receive. But NASA is receiving more than it asked for when it requested that Americans come up with suggestions for future trips to Mars. Not only is it hearing from Americans. It's also receiving input from Martians! And, u...
Read full storyMiami Marlins Manager Ozzie Guillen Sticks His Baseball Cleats In His Mouth Once Again!
MIAMI - The manager of Major League Baseball's Miami Marlins, Ozzie Guillen has done gone and to quote Britney Spears "Oops...I Did It Again!" This time the native of Venezuela told some reporters that he really feels that former Cuban dictator Fi...
Read full storyFucking Village To Change Name
The village of Fucking, which is just north of Salzburg in Austria, has decided to ballot residents on a change of name. This move follows years of ridicule and being the butt of many poor taste jokes. The village dates back to the middle ages and...
Read full storyDancing With The Stars to Feature Spoof Writers
The corridors of TheSpoof.com are quiet these days, as many of its writers are in California, practicing to compete in a special DWTS just for spoof writers. Many are doubtful that they can create good performances. Only time will tell. TV per...
Read full storyNaugas Placed on the Endangered Species List
Washington DC: Based on recommendations of the US Fish and Wildlife Service (FWS) President Obama has placed the Nauga on the endangered species list (ESL). The endangered species act (ESA) was passed by Congress in 1973. The USFWS can decide to...
Read full storyBetty White Denies That She Flashed Ron Paul At A Political Fundraiser
LOS ANGELES - Betty White, at the age of 90, is one of the few people in America who is older than GOP presidential candidate Ron Paul. Ms. White is best noted for having starred in the popular sit-com The Mary Tyler Moore Show where she portrayed...
Read full storyVampire Diaries Star Ian Somerhalder Says His and Co-Star Nina Dobrev's Romance Is Hotter Than The Sun In Mexico!
CANCUN, Mexico - Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev stars of television's The Vampire Diaries flew down to Cancun, Mexico and spent three days having fun in the sun of the Mexican tropical state of Yucatan. Ian and Nina stayed at the luxurious Ole To...
Read full storyRihanna Talks Openly About Her "Switch Hitting" Rumors
MALIBU - Barbabos songstress Rihanna and her BFF Melissa Forde were out on the town and caused quite a stir as they walked hand-in-hand into the exquisite Ristorante Giorgio Baldi formerly The Jellyfish Tentacles Bar & Grill. Carolina Chipotle...
Read full storyThe Upcoming Nasty Divorce: Heidi Klum Is Worth $70 Million - Seal Says "$70 Million Divided By Two Is $35 Million"
LOS ANGELES - It appears that Seal's claws have finally come out and his soon-to-be-ex-wife Heidi Klum is doing some fancy backpedaling to keep from getting scratched financially speaking. The divorce between the black singer and the white super m...
Read full storyBettany Hughes Admirers Warn Off Frustrated Alice Roberts Fans
Admirers of historian Bettany Hughes are sending out warning signals to fans of rival TV boffin babe, Alice Roberts, as they prepare to watch her latest series, Divine Women tonight. As has been reported in these pages ad nauseum followers of anat...
Read full storyLady Gaga Ties Burlington Bertie's Bow In Savoy Hotel Love Tryst
Okay, that was what several London tabloids were reporting yesterday. But is it true? "Absolutely not, it's a bunch of hooey," said Lady Gaga, who gave an exclusive interview to a Spoof reporter who happened to spot the famous duo sharing a cupp...
Read full story20 Different Management Styles Explained - with examples
1) Managing by walking faster than the employees: You will usually always see these kind of managers in the corridor, ten steps away. "We'll have to talk" you can hear them say, just as they have disappeared around the corner! Management Examples: Tony Blair, Gordon Brown, David Cameron, Margaret Thatcher, Road Runner. 2) Managing by staring out of the window: These managers you usually m...
Read full storyA Humongous Jessica Simpson Denies That She's Having Triplets
HOLLYWOOD - It appears that Jessica Simpson has just about been pregnant longer than any celebrity in LaLaLand. Many of her fans believe that judging by the looks of her belly, the 31-year-old singer, actress, and former full-figured model is clos...
Read full storyBruno Mars To Star With Beyonce, Taylor Swift, and Selena Gomez In The Science Fiction Musical, "Doo-Wops & Hooligans"
HOLLYWOOD - A spokesperson for rhythm and blues reggae singer Bruno Mars has just announced that the Honolulu native has just signed to appear in a motion picture. The science fiction musical titled Doo-Wops & Hooligans will also star popular...
Read full storyPolitical Facebook - Rick Santorum and Newt Gingrich Discuss Mitt Romney
POLITICAL FACEBOOK Rick Santorum: Hey Newt are you there? 9:01 a.m. Newt Gingrich: Yeah Rick. I just finished having a piece of toast with some expensive butter that I have imported from Holland once a week. 9:04 a.m. Rick Santorum: Wow! I betcha it's good. 9:07 a.m. Newt Gingrich: Rick, it is so darn good, I actually hate to eat it. 9:11 a.m. Rick Santorum: Say Newt I just want...
Read full storyAn NFL Football Fan Poll Overwhelmingly Suggests That The New Orleans Saints Need To Change Their Name
NEW YORK CITY - The sports magazine Sports Balls Illustrated Weekly has just released the results of their most recent NFL Internet Football Poll. Senior reporter Rufus Reno stated that his publication conducted the football poll and that they rec...
Read full storyPaul Hogan and Linda Kozlowski To Star In "Crocodile Dundee Vs. The Voluptuous Vajazzled Vampires of Vienna"
HOLLYWOOD - It has been three years since Paul Hogan and Linda Kozlowski last reprised their roles of Crocodile Dundee and his girlfriend of 26 years Sue Charlton in the motion picture Crocodile Dundee 4 - The Big Snapper Years. Hogan recently sp...
Read full storyDick Clark Says His Death Was a Blooper, Vows to Return to Times Square for 2013
Times Square - Dick Clark has no intention of resting in peace. The television pioneer has brushed off the massive heart attack which led to his death earlier this week, and is busy planning his traditional New Year's Eve broadcast from New York's Ti...
Read full storyWhy Babies Now Take Longer To Be Born
An American research study on childbirth shows that, on average, labor takes longer now in comparison to 50 years ago. A Spoof reporter, seeking to understand what's behind these findings, interviewed a sample of new moms and newborns (you guessed...
Read full storyHuge sinkhole suddenly swallows up Diana burial island
Northamptonshire - "Sounded like someone flushing a gigantic bog," one of the Althorp House groundsmen said today as news of the disaster broke. Witnesses described how the burial island 'went down the plug hole' as a downpour wiped out the Prince...
Read full storyMitt Romney Has Finally Decided On His Official Campaign Song
JOLIET, Illinois - After six of Mitt Romney's campaign aides conducted an extensive song research the man who appears poised to be the representative of the GOP for the nation's highest office has finally announced his official campaign song. Will...
Read full storyPresident Obama Reveals That The U.S. Secret Service - Colombian Hooker Story Was Simply A CIA Diversionary Ploy
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Vice-President Joe Biden speaking from the White House Rose Garden informed the members of the White House press corps not to be concerned about the so called HookerGate incident. The vice-president stated that President Obama h...
Read full storyKate Gosselin Remarks About The Provocative Cabo San Lucas, Mexico Photos of Her And Russell Brand
HOLLYWOOD - Russell Brand and Kate Gosselin recently returned from spending three days and four nights down in beautiful Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. The couple stayed at The Puffy Taco Resort & Casino which is co-owned by Ryan Seacrest and Steven...
Read full storyKaty Perry Goes Purple
INDIO, California - Katy Perry showed up at The Coachella Music Festival wearing pink Daisy Duke shorts, a Los Angeles Dodgers jersey, a Chicago Bulls cap, and sporting a brand new hair look in regards to color. The big-eyed Perry proudly boasted...
Read full storyThe NBA Suspends L.A. Laker Metta World Peace (The Player Formerly Known As Ron Artest) For 7 Games
NEW YORK CITY - NBA Commissioner David Stern handed out a stern suspension to the elbow-throwing Los Angeles Laker Metta World Peace. Commissioner Stern addressed the sports media that had assembled in the sports department at Macy's Department St...
Read full storyDemi Moore Pleads With Ashton Kutcher To Take Her Back - AK Replies "Ah, That Ship Has Sailed!"
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Close friends of Demi Moore are very concerned about the health and well-being of the former "Cougar" wife of Ashton Kutcher. They say that all of a sudden the 49-year-old Moore truly believes that her former "Boy Toy" actually w...
Read full storyKe$ha To Be The Opening Act On Rihanna and Chris Brown's "Forgiveness Concert Tour"
ATLANTA - A spokesperson for hip hop rapper Chris Brown has just announced that the plans for The 2012 Rihanna and Chris Brown "Forgiveness Concert Tour" have been finalized. The couple will kick off their 29-city concert tour at The Tumblin' Tumb...
Read full storyNew Orleans Saints Owner Tom Benson Hints That Due To "BountyGate" He May Be Moving The Team To San Antonio
NEW ORLEANS - The New Orleans Saints have had more ups and downs than a Six Flags Over Texas Theme Park roller coaster. The team has been hit with BountyGate and Head Coach Sean Payton has been suspended for the entire football season. Several oth...
Read full storyPolitical Facebook - Newt Gingrich, Rick Santorum, Ron Paul, and Sarah Palin
POLITICAL FACEBOOK Newt Gingrich: Hi Rick. Well old pal it looks like I'm done. I don't have a snowballs chance in hell of beating "Old Mittens." 10:01 a.m. Rick Santorum: I hear you Newton. I am feeling the same way. I don't think I've been this disappointed since back in high school when I asked the head cheerleader, Sadie Sue Von Buttermilk to the prom and she told me that she wanted to...
Read full storyNATO hero thwarted Thatcher's attempt to nuke Buenos Aires
London - A top NATO intelligence official forcibly prevented Mrs Thatcher from nuking the hell out of Buenos Aires during the Falklands conflict according to classified defence papers to be published next week. The documents describe the Downing S...
Read full storyPamela Anderson Confesses That Her Nude Posing Days Are Definitely Over
WEST HOLLYWOOD - Pamela Anderson was recently interviewed by iRumors at an IHIPHOP Soul Food Restaurant in West Hollywood. Anderson sat at the bar in a zebra striped tube top and matching short shorts as she spoke with reporter Taffeta Kixx. She w...
Read full storyParallel Universe Blows; Perpendicular Universe Where It's At
A newly published report by Dr. Beatrice Bender, Director of the New Center for Science, dismisses parallel universes as a waste of time; according to Dr. Bender, the perpendicular universe is where it's at. Announced Dr. Bender, "People want scie...
Read full storyBeijing Warns China Will Attack If Philippine Naval Buildup In Calituban Bohol Continues
The Philippine-China conflict over ownership of the Spratlys has reached a critical point warns international analysts as Beijing raised a protest against the Philippine Navy's massive buildup. According to Beijing, satellite imagery taken in early A...
Read full storyHeidi Montag's New Reality Show "Heidi Talks Politics" Is Cancelled After Airing Just 2 Episodes
LOS ANGELES - According to Heidi Montag's personal hair stylist FuFi Fondue, she is absolutely crushed at the news that her brand new cable reality show has been cancelled after only airing two episodes. The show titled Heidi Talks Politics was re...
Read full storyOld Hats Are Old Hat Says Hat Manufacturer
The UK's leading designer and manufacturer of quality headgear, Onme Edson, of the Ilkley Moor Hat Firm Inc of Spewing Malden Mill, Dorking, today announced that old hats are old hat, and that anybody who's anybody in the world today is investing in...
Read full storyDancing With The Stars - Katherine Jenkins Has The Best Looking Legs in The History of The Dance Show
HOLLYWOOD - Judge Carrie Ann Inaba paid opera singer Katherine Jenkins quite a compliment as she stated after Jenkins and her partner Mark Ballas had performed their Argentine Tango that the Welsh singer has the best looking legs of any female contes...
Read full storyPope Admits God Probably Doesn't Exist But Encourages Catholics to Get Imaginary God Friend
Catholics everywhere were flabbergasted when, merely days after celebrating his 85th birthday, Pope Benedict XVI issued a formal statement acknowledging that God probably does not exist. Nevertheless, the Pope assured believers worldwide that they we...
Read full storyUnfit, Overweight Vegetarian and Vegan Inspire Millions of Americans to Go Veg
Ingrid Newkirk, President of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), and Kevin Lawson, President of the National Vegetarian Society, knew they needed a new approach to recruiting new vegetarians and vegans. "Americans weren't relating...
Read full storyGodzillus - a 450 million year old something discovered!
Befuddled evolutionists are chomping at the bit following the discovery of a something they are calling Godzillus. Engineer Ron Fine found the something whilst digging for fossils, and this one is no tiddler, but nine feet long. Although no-one...
Read full storyNorth Korea Warns Beijing On Philippines Plan To Annex China
North Korea has issued a warning to Beijing suggesting the Philippines had planned to occupy and possibly annex China in the next few years through a series of subtle migration of Filipino workers to Chinese cities. Pyongyang discovered through c...
Read full storyMy week as a woman - day one
I learned one very important lesson in this particular week: never make a bet with your wife when she's in a bad mood. Firstly, wives do not make a bet with their husband unless they are one hundred percent certain of winning, and secondly, they can be very, very (very) vindictive. First up, I am six foot two inches tall, balding of head and hair sprouting of body. I take size eleven shoes, and...
Read full storyBank of America Joins Forces with Astrology.web to Introduce Automatic Fortune Teller Machine
Bank of America, in partnership with Astrology.web, recently announced its latest initiative: the Automatic Fortune Teller Machine, which combines modern-day financial technology with age-old astrological principles. Millions of AFTMs will become ava...
Read full storyElderly man arrested in NC carrying a placard that reads-"Will Work for Sex!"
Reverend T. J. McCorkle of Louisburg,NC, was arrested late yesterday afternoon at the intersection of Hwy 561 and Hwy 401 in Louisburg, NC. He was carrying a sign that reads---"Will Work for Sex. Police say they had observed Reverend McCrkle fo...
Read full storyJoan Rivers Denies That Her And Rush Limbaugh Were Once Lovers
MANHATTAN - Joan Rivers was back at her old stomping grounds in the Big Apple visiting a couple of old friends; her gynecologist, Dr. Abdul Goldengrass and her cellulite specialist, Dr. Okaloosa Luluette Lickachevski. Rivers, who is known as "The...
Read full storyKathy Griffin Agrees To Enroll In An Anger Management Class
LOS ANGELES - Kathy Griffin has admitted that the stress from appearing on the cable show My Life On The D List has finally gotten to her. She was recently at the Haven of Hair Salon in Beverly Hills where she was getting her hair done. Her hai...
Read full storyBuddhist Admits Present Moment Not So Great
After decades of dharma talks, retreats, and solo meditation sittings - the sole aim of which was to fully experience the present moment - Buddhist Ken Foley finally admitted that the present moment was not so great. "I don't regret anything," say...
Read full storyA Listing of Names of Countries And Where Their Names Came From
World renown expert on countries Zorbatini Teakettle has just published his 17th book. His latest publication is titled The Origin of The Word Samoa and Some More Country Name Origins. Mr. Teakettle, a native of Woonsocket, Rhode Island, has personally traveled to 195 of the world's 196 countries. He recently appeared on The View and was asked by co-host Whoopi Goldberg, which is the only c...
Read full storyThe Manuscripts of John A Statusboast II
Time for a friend audit me thinks, EVERYBODY'S gotta know about this so I'll put it as my status for at least 5 days, or until I get 50 comments on it. Makes me feel like a g6 like a g6 like a g6 you know. I don't give away my friendship that easily so some people have just got to learn where the line is and know that they shouldn't cross it, know what I'm saying yeah my house my rules. Welcome to...
Read full storySimon Cowell's obsession with Cheryl Cole goes too far.
TV mogul Simon Cowell is reported to be 'devastated' concerning continuing revelations leaked from his unofficial autobiography which is due to be released next month. According to sources, pint-sized, ego-maniac Cowell had no idea as to the conte...
Read full storyHoward Stern's Tiny Penis Is Growing Bigger From Being An America's Got Talent Judge
Shock Jock Howard Stern, who for many years has made it public information that his penis is tiny, itsie bitsie, little and embarrassing in general, has been astounded by the results he has been getting from being a judge on the popular television sh...
Read full storyScottish Cup Loss Proves Final Straw For Lennon
Celtic boss, Neil Lennon, launched an astonishing attack on Scotlands referees yesterday evening after his team was dumped out of the Scottish cup. The tipping point appears to have been the controversial penalty awarded to their semi-final oppone...
Read full storyMiracle: Man's Memory Instantly Restored
CHESTER, Pa. (WTFM) --- It was a hot, summer afternoon in mid-August, 1962, when a twelve-year-old Robert Tiller and his younger brother, Pete, decided they would bury a jar of pennies in their backyard. Two years later, they decided to dig it...
Read full storySimon Cowell Offers Justin Bieber $15 Million To Be A Judge On X-Factor
HOLLYWOOD - Simon Cowell has already signed Britney Spears to fill one of the two X-Factor judges positions vacated when the "Viceroy of Venom" fired Paula Abdul and Nicole Scherzinger back in January. Reports are several noted celebrities have tu...
Read full storyAlex Ferguson admits Manchester United's success is not down to him
Manchester United manager, Alex Ferguson has admitted that he is not responsible for the success of Manchester United this year. "It's nothing to do with me," he said. Actually, he said "E now tude wimmy" but a translator offered the correct pronu...
Read full storySalford woman wins the Manchester Marathon
The Manchester Marathon was won today by a forty-two year old woman from Salford called Annette Fisher. "I hadn't even realised I'd entered the marathon," said Ms Fisher. "I'd hung my bed sheets out on the line because it was quite windy and I th...
Read full storyDorking Porn Star Couple Axed For Excessive Flatulence On Set
Dorking's own famous porn star couple, Tracy Storm and Harry Knutsford were sent packing from the set of Hollywood adult movie extravaganza, 'By Jove, That's A Stonker!' by Director, Phil Cleavage, after apparently suffering from excessive flatulence...
Read full storyAnother Dancing With The Stars Shocker! One of This Year's Favorites Colton Dixon Sent Back To Tennessee
HOLLYWOOD - Well even Woody The Wonder Woodchuck who had correctly picked four of the five American Idol singers who have gone home was wrong as one of this year's favorites Colton Dixon was eliminated. A total of 53 million votes were cast by a t...
Read full storyPaulina Gretzky To Protest In Bahrain - Naked
(API)- Paulina Gretzky, daughter of hockey player, Wayne Gretzky, has publicly stated that she plans to protest human rights abuses in Bahrain by running up and down pit row in nothing but her smile during the F1 grand prix. Ms. Gretzky, who rece...
Read full storyThe Hunting Act - Eight Years On (An Undercover Report)
The Hunting Act 2004 is a United Kingdom Act of Parliament. Its effect is to outlaw hunting with dogs - particularly for foxes, deer, hares and mink. During the pre-legislation debate it was claimed by the country sports community that the Act would be devastating to rural economies as well as undermining centuries of agrarian cultural tradition. Eight years on, however, it is apparent, even...
Read full storyAngelina Jolie Tells Nadya "OctoMom" Suleman That She'll Take All 14 of Her Kids - Brad Pitt Goes Ballistic!
PROVENCE, France - Angelina Jolie read an article about the financial plight of Nadya Suleman alias "OctoMom" in the supermarket tabloid Say What? and she decided to contact the mother of 14. Jolie was able to obtain Suleman's phone number from La...
Read full storySarah Palin Says She May Be Getting Ready To Toss Her Red Hunting Cap Into The GOP Presidential Ring
NEW YORK CITY - Sarah Palin, the woman who popularized moose hunting from state owned helicopters, has said that there are lots of people who have jealously remarked that they would like for her to do the Republican party a favor and stay out of the...
Read full storyBarcelona's Sergio Busquets reveals being Bullied as a Child
In an emotional interview to a local TV channel, Sergio Busquets confessed that he was constantly bullied when he was a kid and that the bullying hadn't stopped even to this day. Speaking a few hours after helping Barcelona secure passage to the semi...
Read full storyAshton Kutcher and Rihanna Seen Playing Tonsil Hockey On Catalina Island
CATALINA ISLAND - It appears that Rihanna keeps doing things to confuse her multitude of fans and keep them guessing as to what she is doing and whom she is doing it with. A few weeks ago there was rampant speculation that Rihanna had gotten back...
Read full storyBank of America Expresses Solidarity with Occupy Wall Street Activists by Handing Out Credit Card Applications at Occupy Events
Bank of America CEO Brian Moynihan is grateful and proud to be part of the 1% that possess nearly all of the nation's wealth. Nevertheless, Moynihan hasn't forgotten about the 99% who aren't quite so fortunate - far from it. "I've been blessed," h...
Read full storyBubba Watson's Masters Victory Wife and Car by Nostradamus
Five hundred years ago Nostradamus wrote his prophecies in code and he predicted three antichrists. Nostradamus said that the first antichrist would be named 'Napaulon Roy', Napoleon. Nostradamus predicted that the second antichrist would be 'Hister', Adolf Hitler. Nostradamus wrote that the third antichrist would be named 'Mabus', Ayatollah Mesbah Yazdi the true power behind the throne in Iran wh...
Read full storyMy week as a woman - day five
I had a startling choice on the fifth day of my forfeit. Having eaten more chillies than me, and completed a one thousand piece jigsaw faster, my wife had decided to teach me the meaning of female pain by exposing it to me for an entire week. When I awoke on the Wednesday to the sound of my alarm going off at ridiculous o'clock, I remembered that I had to go into the office. My wife had told me...
Read full storyParis Hilton's Vagina Disappointed By Not Making Any Public Appearences
Paris Hilton has been flying below the radar lately much to the dismay of her vagina. Paris use to be infamous for flaunting her privates in public. Paris was in fact the catalyst behind all the Lindsay Lohan flashes and Britney Spears splashes.
Read full storyWest Ham lose Olympic Stadium Bid
West Ham United learnt today that they will not become tenants of the Olympic Stadium after the completion of the 2012 London Olympics. A study carried out by the London Sport & Tourism Executive concluded that West Ham's history of poor resul...
Read full storyMichael Jordan Owner of The Charlotte Bobcats Who Are (5-57) Announces That He Will Not Be Renaming The Team The Kitty Cats
CHARLOTTE, North Carolina - Michael Jordan, the owner of the Charlotte Bobcats, who have only won 7 games and lost 57 says that he wants to dispel some rumors that are going around the NBA locker rooms. First of all the wants it known that he is n...
Read full storyTop-10 Top-Secret Dating Tips for Men!
Men, is your dating life DOA? Not to worry! These top-secret tips from NYC's #1 professional matchmaker will put the "life" back in your love: 1) Don't be a douchebag! Yes, it's true that ladies loooove douchebags - but they love non-douchebags even more! You can get plenty of trashy booty by acting like a jerk, but if you're interested in some seriously high-class love, acting like a decent, c...
Read full storyGreat Britain's Ye Merry Olde Rehab Clinic Wants To Speak With (The Beautiful) Samantha Brick As Soon As Possible
LONDON - Nigel Winston Buckingshire, the director of the famed Ye Olde Merry Rehab Clinic of Upper Tooting, has been informed about a situation that needs his immediate attention. According to Neville Twickenbuck of Tickety Boo News, a woman named...
Read full storySarah Palin's Former Secret Service Agent Explains Why He Was 'Checking Her Out'
WASHINGTON, D.C. - It appears that the "Loose Moose" AKA Sarah Palin, is back and this time she is wishing and hoping that, unlike the last time, someone pays attention to her. But as comedian Zydeco Dupree recently said at The Giggle Giggle Comed...
Read full storyLocal Man Refuses To Spoof Samantha Brick Over Daily Mail Article
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, a dashingly handsome 27 year old mountaineer, survivalist, and part time factory worker with a vivid imagination, today refused to write a satirical article of any description about Samantha Brick. "I'm not doing it.
Read full storyParis Hilton, Cameron Diaz, and Samantha Brick To Star In "We're Just Too Darn Pretty For Words"
HOLLYWOOD - Word coming out of Tinsel Town is that TouchRock Pictures in association with Cinema Castle Films will soon begin production on Sheboygan Saddlewood's We're Just Too Darn Pretty For Words. The motion picture will star Paris Hilton, Cam...
Read full storyThe NBA Player Formerly Known As Ron Artest and Now Called Metta World Peace Shows That His New Name Is Nothing But A Joke
LOS ANGELES - Apparently someone forgot to remind Los Angeles Lakers player Metta World Peace, formerly known as Ron Artest, that he plays in the NBA, the National Basketball Association and not in the WWF, the World Wrestling Federation. Tango Br...
Read full storyDue To The New Orleans Saints "BountyGate" and Now "MicrophoneGate" The NFL Ruling Commission Is Seriously Considering Banning The Saints From The NFL
NEW ORLEANS - Well it certainly appears that with the latest "Hidden Microphone" development the New Orleans Saints have just about showed the world of professional football that they would be much better suited operating in the professional wrestlin...
Read full storyDorking Base Jumper Killed In Tragic Accident
One of the world's lesser known base jumpers was killed today, whilst attempting a base jump which went tragically wrong. The Dorking base jumper, Albert Plummet, was attempting another daring base jump from Leith Hill Tower, just a stone's throw...
Read full storyMy week as a woman - day six
There is obviously something deeply wrong with me. I didn't think twice about the morning routine this morning. It's day six, the penultimate day of my forfeit for losing a bet with my wife on who can take more pain, men or women. I have spent the last five days experiencing several aspects of female pain. This morning, I removed the hair that had grown overnight around my thighs, moisturised, dre...
Read full storyMaryland Housewife Loses Lottery
Baltimore, MD - Despite six days of careful planning, Janet McNary learned Wednesday that she will not be receiving a lottery jackpot of over two-hundred million dollars. The 34-year-old McNary, a housewife from the suburbs of Maryland, had meticulo...
Read full storyMy week as a woman - day three
I was glad that I had the week off work for Easter. It was why my wife had chosen this week for my forfeit, but I knew full well that she would have insisted I go to work, and then checked up on me. For the whole week I would experience the pain of femininity on pain of pain. Believe me when I say that the pain of being a woman for one week can in no way compare to what my wife is capable of. O...
Read full storyStrange Old English Laws: Real or Myth?
The Law Commission has proposed the abolition of 800 antiquated laws, but there is a wealth of mythology about what is and isn't illegal. For instance, it is well known that urinating in a public building is an offence. And yet by sticking a draw...
Read full storyNorth Korea Blames Philippines For Rocket Failure
North Korea has attributed the recent rocket launch failure to the Philippines. According to Pyongyang, the North Korean rocket was subjected to electronic warfare waged by Philippine IT experts hidden in a bunker deep under Malacanang, the president...
Read full storyDancing With The Stars Welsh Singer Katherine Jenkins Is Warned By Fellow Welshman Steve Jones Ex-Host of The X-Factor About Mark "The Lark" Ballas
HOLLYWOOD - One of the most beautiful contestants to ever appear on Dancing With The Stars, Katherine Jenkins of Wales, has just received a word of warning from a fellow countrymen. Miss Jenkins, a fabulous opera singer, received a text message fr...
Read full storyAngelina Jolie and Brad Pitt to Marry at the North Pole
A cool site for a wedding. In more ways than one, according to the happy couple. And a possible side effect, say Angie and Brad, is that many of the paparazzi (frozen turnips!) may choose to stay home. Ever since a Norwegian explorer married...
Read full storyAlice Roberts Fans Not Holding Their Breath Over Woolly Mammoth Doc
Patient and long-suffering fans of top TV boffin totty Alice Roberts will be breathing easy tonight when she presents a BBC programme on the woolly mammoth. Anthropologist Dr Roberts has delighted TV viewers over the last few years with her contri...
Read full storyRefurbished 'Sex-Bots' Embarrass Secret Service
WASHINGTON - In a monumental failing of the U.S. Department of Robotics, twelve androids known by insiders as units "XJ1 through XJ12" have been dismantled following an embarrassing episode involving Colombian prostitutes. The unfortunate mishap...
Read full storyUPS Exposed: No Packages Delivered Since 2008!
To millions of Americans who, for years, have encountered difficulties in receiving packages scheduled for delivery by the United Parcel Service, it arguably came as little surprise when an investigation by the Federal Bureau of Investigation recentl...
Read full storyX-Factor's Simon Cowell Very Disappointed That American Idol Has Just Given Ryan Seacrest A $30 Million Contract Extension
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - The word out of LaLaLand is that reality show mogul Simon Cowell is absolutely devastated that Ryan Seacrest will not be signing on to be the new X-Factor host like he had hoped. Ryan "Peaches" Seacrest has just been given an ama...
Read full storyPope Benedict XVI Plays April Fool's Joke with a Condom
In a quick visit to the U.S. before Holy Week, Pope Benedict XVI decided to play a little joke. Pope Benedict XVI stopped in several Midwestern cities to voice his support for the Catholic Church's crusade against "reproductive health" and the so...
Read full storyNASA Space Shuttle Discovery Secretly Plans Second Career
Retired by NASA, he's being dumped at the Smithsonian Institute in Wash., D. C., and he's not at all happy about it. In a special "after-hours" (that's when the space shuttles have a magical ability to talk, an ability limited to about eight hou...
Read full storyJordan To Marry Again, Divorce Lawyer Orders New Yacht
Everybody's favourite media whore, Katie Price (AKA Jordan) is set to get hitched for a third time. The latest sap who has fallen for her apparent charms is Argentinian model Leandro Penna. Jordan, 32FF, who has three children by eight differen...
Read full storyWill Alan Hansen Ever Shut Up About Balotelli And Actually Criticise Liverpool?
If BBC coverage is anything to go by, at least according to the vampiric looking TV pundit Alan Hansen, Manchester City are a club in crisis, yet everything in the Anfield garden is looking distinctly rosy. Hansen's criticism of City striker Mario...
Read full storyRon Paul Solves Jobs Crisis: 4-Day Work-Week!
In a flash of insight he calls divine inspiration, presidential hopeful Ron Paul singlehandedly discovered the solution to the nation's current job crisis: scaling down the work-week from five days to four. "It's so obvious!" exclaimed Paul to joy...
Read full storyFrench scientists: Heterosexual houseflies pair up and remain faithful
A team of scientists at France's Lyons University has found that houseflies, just like humans, fall in love and live in twosomes. Unlike humans though who often remarry after the death of a spouse, houseflies find the loss of a partner so immense...
Read full storyCarol Vorderman Reveals The Truth About Why Piers Morgan Reduced Her To Tears In TV Show
Former Countdown maths whizz, and student 'older lady' wank fantasy, Carol Vorderman - arse of the year winner on several occasions, and oft regarded as 'Thinking Man's Crumpet' - today revealed the real reason about why she was reduced to tears on P...
Read full storyPhilippines Brace For North Korea Rocket Impact - Nuclear Warhead Could Destroy Cebu
Philippine President Noynoy Aquino has ordered the Philippine Armed Forces to DEFCON 1 as North Korea's Kim Jong-un orders a rerouting of North Korea's ballistic missile towards the Philippine islands. North Korea rerouted the launch path after Japan...
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