Former Countdown maths whizz, and student 'older lady' wank fantasy, Carol Vorderman - arse of the year winner on several occasions, and oft regarded as 'Thinking Man's Crumpet' - today revealed the real reason about why she was reduced to tears on Piers Morgan's incredibly intrusive TV show.
On camera, Carol was seen in tears as she spoke fondly of former Countdown presenter, the legendary Richard Whiteley in the pre-recorded and carefully edited TV show.
Friends of Ms Vorderman however, reveal a slightly different story.
'Proper Gravy' campaigner, Ken Mither, of Cleckhuddersfax in West Yorkshire, told Skoob News that he'd been in the Leeds studio audience on several occasions when Countdown was recorded, and that he'd almost got the Countdown Conundrum once - but he got the letters a bit mixed up.
"He were a grand lad were Richard," Ken Mither related. "And I've no doubt that Carol really loved him - in a platonic way, like - but what tha dunt see on't Piers Morgan interview, is that just afore they geet talkin' abaht Richard, they asked Vorders abaht things what really dick her off these days like..."
Intrepid Skoob News supremo, Buffty Ginslinger, pressed Ken Mither to explain further. Ken Mither duly obliged:
"Yon Morgan bloke asked Vorders abaht what really gets on her tits, like," Ken Mither related. "Anyroad, it turns aht that Vorders had decided ter sign up with a Spoof website, called the Spoof, strangely enough. She probably misses all that reckoning up, and that clever wordplay from Dictionary Corner, with yon Brandreth bloke, and that greasy haired lass. So anyroad, she signed up to play this Acronym game on this website, and she were havin' a reet grand time on it - that is until these slaveringly fiendish dictators, who do sporatic nastiness and that, started 'avin' a go at the Acronymists. On't forum on't site or summat. I haven't gorra bloody clue worrit were all abaht ter be honest, burrit were obviously sensitive, like. She started skrikin' a bit, and then the Morgan bloke started on abaht Dicky, and it all went ter bloody pot from theer."
Acronym? Spoof? Carol Vorderman? Monkey Woods?
Strewth!
More as we get it...
