New Orleans Saints Owner Tom Benson Hints That Due To "BountyGate" He May Be Moving The Team To San Antonio

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 16 April 2012

image for New Orleans Saints Owner Tom Benson Hints That Due To "BountyGate" He May Be Moving The Team To San Antonio
Walmart reports that so far 187 New Orleans customers have returned Coach Sean Payton autographed footballs for refunds.

NEW ORLEANS - The New Orleans Saints have had more ups and downs than a Six Flags Over Texas Theme Park roller coaster.

The team has been hit with BountyGate and Head Coach Sean Payton has been suspended for the entire football season. Several other coaches have also received suspensions for their part in the hurt the opposing players scandal.

A very reliable, unnamed, inside source spoke with Rufus Reno of Sports Balls Illustrated Weekly and informed him that the whole bounty situation has caused a tremendous upheaval within the Saints family.

The anonymous source reports that the word on Bourbon Street is that possibly even the team mascot Gumbo The Dog and four of the New Orleans Saints cheerleaders may also be involved in the unbelievable scandal.

He pointed out that several of the players are worried sick that they could possibly end up doing prison time since they have been instructed by the NFL to be sure and secure the services of the best attorney money can buy.

Noted New Orleans lawyer Marcel Vixencastle has stated that six of the New Orleans defensive players have already contacted him about being their legal counsel.

Vixencastle is well respected in the Bayou State and last year won a $9.2 million settlement in the case of Miss Lola Flambeau's House of Cajun Voodoo Vs. The State of Louisiana.

The famed Big Easy attorney, who is married to Hollywood Hors D'oeuvres reporter Tahiti Zeppelin, has a won loss record of 271-2.

Some of his past and current clients include Britney Spears, The Creole State Bank, Zydeco Dupree, Harry Connick Jr, Jumbo Shrimp Fishing Tours Inc., and Reese Witherspoon.

Rufus Reno spoke with Saints owner Tom Benson, who resides in his hometown of San Antonio, and he was informed that Benson is looking into the possibility of possibly moving the team to San Antonio within four weeks.

The 84-year-old Benson stated that NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell advised him in a text message that perhaps it might be in his best interest to get the team out of 'Dodge' pronto, so to speak.

He suggested that if he agrees to move the team to San Antonio that it will take away some of the horrible stigma that is currently associated with the New Orleans based team.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: It is my understanding that many of the secondary Saints stockholders feel that moving the team out of New Orleans and to San Antonio is a very good idea and they see some good karma since San Antonio translated is Saint Anthony so the team would in essence be the Saint Anthony Saints.]

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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