A Humongous Jessica Simpson Denies That She's Having Triplets

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 23 April 2012

image for A Humongous Jessica Simpson Denies That She's Having Triplets
After Jessica Simpson has her baby she will begin filming a sequel to "The Dukes of Hazzard."

HOLLYWOOD - It appears that Jessica Simpson has just about been pregnant longer than any celebrity in LaLaLand.

Many of her fans believe that judging by the looks of her belly, the 31-year-old singer, actress, and former full-figured model is close to 11 months pregnant.

She recently stated to Tapioca Swizzle of Tittle Tattle Tonight that she has refused her doctor's instructions to go ahead and have the baby induced.

Simpson has adamantly pointed out that she wants for her baby to come out whenever it comes out so that it can be a natural birth instead of a forced birth which she believes could cause the baby to be born without fingernails and toenails.

When Jessica was asked where in the world she had heard that old wives tale she simply replied "I heard it from an old wife of course, duh!"

Simpson, who starred in The Dukes of Hazzard motion picture as Daisy Duke said that she has agreed to star in the sequel to the 2005 film which will feature her in the starring role.

The movie is titled The Dukes of Hazzard 2012 - Daisy Duke's Cellulite Years. Also scheduled to appear in the movie which is being directed by Durango Grundyweather are Charlie Sheen as Luke Duke and Ashton Kutcher as Bo Duke.

The movie will also feature Gary Busey who will portray "Boss" Hogg. American Idol's Steven Tyler will star as Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane and 78-year-old Willie Nelson will be reprising his role as Uncle Jesse Duke.

Grundyweather disclosed that Kat Von D, Ke$ha, Rev. Al Sharpton, and Monica Lewinsky will all be appearing as themselves.

Executives at The Cinema Castle Film Company are concerned about the fact that Jessica is holding up the start of the filming since she has still not had her baby.

Tapioca Swizzle did point out that several of Simpson's closest friends believe that Jessica may be having triplets.

Simpson of course denies that rumor and insists that she has only felt two feet kicking her; a left foot and a right foot.

SIDENOTE: Jessica Simpson is still not popular in the Dallas area due to the fact that when she was dating Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo back in 2007, many Cowboys fans felt that she was a 'jinx' and began referring to her as Yoko Romo.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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