Lady Gaga Ties Burlington Bertie's Bow In Savoy Hotel Love Tryst

Funny story written by Gail Farrelly

Saturday, 14 April 2012

image for Lady Gaga Ties Burlington Bertie's Bow In Savoy Hotel Love Tryst
JUST DANCE, forget about tying a bow.

Okay, that was what several London tabloids were reporting yesterday. But is it true?

"Absolutely not, it's a bunch of hooey," said Lady Gaga, who gave an exclusive interview to a Spoof reporter who happened to spot the famous duo sharing a cuppa today in the teashop at the Savoy Hotel.

Although it was early afternoon, the reporter said that both Lady Gaga and Bertie were wearing tuxedos. But Lady G was adamant that it was NOT a date but a business meeting of two professionals preparing to do a dance album of music hall songs with a 21st century twist.

Gaga claims that the romance tale is just a rumor spread by a wonky-eyed nurse who, with her wonky eyes, sees things that just aren't there. Lady Gaga said with a sigh, "Bertie is a nice guy and all; but for Pete's sake, he and his bow are 112 years old. Gimme a break."

Bertie stopped slurping his tea long enough to nod his head in agreement. With a chuckle, he said, "Talk about a Bad Romance, eh?"

When they finished their tea, the pair donned their tophats, grabbed their walking sticks, and headed for the exit.

At last sighting, they were doing a two-step down the street, enthralling onlookers with a harmonious rendition of the masterpiece by William Hargreaves. The crowd seemed to especially enjoy these lines:

I'm Burlington Bertie. I rise at ten thirty. Then saunter along like a toff. I walk down The Strand with my gloves on my hand. Then I walk down again with them off.

The Bertie-Gaga album should be available for sale soon at fine music stores and on fine computer gadgets everywhere.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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