Betty White Denies That She Flashed Ron Paul At A Political Fundraiser

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Friday, 27 April 2012

image for Betty White Denies That She Flashed Ron Paul At A Political Fundraiser
76-year old Ron Paul is 14 years younger than Betty White, who is 90. (Photo courtesy of Cloris Leachman).

LOS ANGELES - Betty White, at the age of 90, is one of the few people in America who is older than GOP presidential candidate Ron Paul.

Ms. White is best noted for having starred in the popular sit-com The Mary Tyler Moore Show where she portrayed the sensuously promiscuous Sue Ann Nivens.

She also starred as the raging hormoned Rose Nylund on The Golden Girls and can currently be seen starring as the stalking cougar Elka Ostrovsky in Hot In Cleveland as well as hosting her own practical jokes show Betty White's Off Their Rockers.

Two years ago Ms. White appeared as the nymphomaniacal Fuffarella Dinbizzie in the short lived Epitome Network show The Blue-Haired Vampires of Van Nuys.

Actung Zumwalt of TV ClickerWorld noted that White's vampire show was cancelled after just two episodes were aired.

The reason given was that thousands of people had complained about the shows vulgar language content and its sexual innuendos to several television viewer organizations including We See You Inc, The That's Not Happening Television Coalition, and The You Are Not Getting Away With Uttering Your Explicit Expletives Federation.

The creator and producer of The Blue-Haired Vampires of Van Nuys Maddox P. Tobaccotiller hired the noted Capistrano, California law firm of Kippinowski, Flapdoodle, & Bolero in an effort to file a lawsuit against the network for totally focusing on the demands of the three television viewer advocate groups.

But unfortunately the network hired one of the nation's top attorneys Gloria Allred and she, to use a football term, kicked the Capistrano law firm's butt.

Betty was recently asked by Bedroom Pillow Talk about the rumor that she had flashed Texas Congressman Ron Paul at a Ron Paul Political Fundraiser down in Texarkana, Texas.

She grinned as she took a couple of sips from her Tequila Fuego and replied that she did not really recall if she flashed Ron Paul or not but she is 73 percent sure that she did not.

White then admitted that she did recall following him into the men's bathroom and telling him that she was very lonely and that if he wanted to, after the fundraising gala, he could go up to her hotel room and she would be glad to show him the three intimate spots where she is considering getting tattoos.

Ron Paul is alleged to have informed her that one, he is married. Two, he is not going to do anything to risk his political career like John Edwards and Herman Cain did, and three, he is married.

White expressed to him that he said that he was married twice. Paul giggled and told her that she was mistaken and that he only mentioned that he was married two times and not three times like she had erroneously stated.

May 2, is National Be Happy Day except in the states of Arizona and Michigan where happiness has become a rare commodity.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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