Florida Recruits Say They Were Told Coach Urban Meyer Leaving For Dallas Cowboys
Recruits who were being sought by multiple universities have stated that other schools told them that Florida's Head Football Coach Urban Meyer was leaving the program to coach the Dallas Cowboys. While this did not affect the decision of three know...
Read full storyA Penny for Your Banker Holiday Proposed
One penny out of every dollar spent in the United States of America went for salaries and bonuses at Wall Street firms, prompting demands for a new federal holiday. "We awarded ourselves $140 Billion in salary and bonusses in 2009," explained one...
Read full story"Moving Weather Stations": Climate Scientist Defends Research Data
Professor Harold Mountebank, the Climate Scientist at the eye of the storm over Global Warming evidence, yesterday defended his and his colleagues' work, after the latest attacks from Climate Change sceptic Paul Vaulter, reports Rhoda Montade from t...
Read full story"Touch My Stuff, I'll Kill You" Likely To Replace "Don't Ask Don't Tell"
Defense Secretary Robert Gates testified before the Senate Armed Services Committee on Tuesday that it is time to end the sixteen-year-old "don't ask don't tell" policy (DADT) restricting the right of gays and lesbians to serve openly in the armed fo...
Read full storyObama cancels Moon project as 'it's ridiculous and scientifically impossible'
US President Barack Obama today cancelled the waste of time project to send humans to the Moon for the first time, as 'it's ridiculous and scientifically impossible'. In 1969 a ridiculous fake Moon landing was acted out by ham actors and obvious manu...
Read full storyEnraged Mob of Frozen Americans Kill Groundhog After Unfavorable Prediction
PUNXSUTAWNEY, Pa. -- According to the 2010 Farmers' Almanac, this winter will see rough and frigid conditions where temperatures will average below normal for about three-quarters of the nation. Significant snowfalls are also forecast for parts of...
Read full storyLocal Man Drawn Into 'Domestic' Over 'Resident Evil:Extinction' Sci-Fi Movie
For Martin Shuttlecock (booze free since 01/01/10) it promised to be a quiet evening in front of the TV with wife Anne, watching the Sci-Fi movie 'Resident Evil:Extinction in peace, cushioned from the world by modern technology. But of course it c...
Read full storyKaty Perry Admits "I Kissed a Girl" About Fiance Russell Brand
LOS ANGELES, California -- Singer Katy Perry and British comedian Russell Brand have been on the fast track to marriage since last fall, according to reports. On December 31, their engagement became official. Because neither Perry nor Brand has un...
Read full storyNew Show "Our Favorite Suckers" A TV 'Twilight'?
A new show on CW scheduled for the summer of 2010 will be called "Our Favorite Suckers" and will feature a mostly female cast. There's young Jennifer who is a modern vampire and of the more tame type, like the Cullens, but she has one big problem...
Read full storyTiger Woods Needs Lots Of Sex Therapy: Loredana Jolie
Ex-Tiger Woods mistress and Call girl, Loredana Jolie says that Tiger Woods "Is not normal" in bed. This she plans to go into detail in her upcoming book, "Tiger Woods Not Normal In Bed". But don't feel lonesome Tiger, she's planning to spill her...
Read full storyThe Jig-Saw Killer - Copycat Killers At Large
Following the conviction of gangland killer Stephen Marshall, who became known as the Jig-Saw Killer after his predilection for dismembering the bodies of his victims and dumping the parts in a variety of locations, police are appealing for public he...
Read full storyPremiership in crisis as Sibylle Sibierski found dead
Manchester - (Dumbstruck): "Is this part of a fully-fledged Premier League hex?" conspiracy nutters' website TinFoilHattersAnonymous.con asked today as ex-Man City striker Antoine Sibierski's daughter was found dead in an Altrincham apartment. Sib...
Read full storyLocal Teacher's Sex Education Classes "Too Extreme"
Local teacher, Mrs. Sensual, is in trouble with the authorities again - and this time it has nothing to do with shoving potatoes up her bum. Mrs. Sensual is instead the subject of disciplinary action regarding her 'overly visual' sex education cl...
Read full storyWayne Rooney and his missus are being sued for 4.8 million, Rooney signs on the dole!
Rooney and his missus, Coleen, are being sued by a dubious marketing company to the sum of 4.8 million nicker! Now as we all know Wayne, his missus and the baby are pretty well off, the only problem is, Roon is so pissed off he has decided to decl...
Read full storyAl Qaeda suicide Falcons caused Concorde disaster 10 years ago!
At the hearing in France of the Concorde disaster in 2000 several explanations for the cause have been put forward, but none really tells the TRUTH? Well Jaggedone sent one of his CIA (cockrooach infiltration army) intrepid reporters, Ben ScumaBin...
Read full storyCheryl Cole Declines Task Of Being WAG Spokesperson As Soccer Sex Scandal Rumbles On
I have fabricated reports that former Girls Aloud singer, Black Eyed Peas supporting act, and soccer wife, Cheryl Cole has declined approaches from fellow WAGS to represent them at times of controversy and sex scandal exposees. As the alleged John...
Read full storyUK And USA Linguistic Gulf Widens
For some people, the UK and the USA share a common language, but for other observers there are two distinctly seperate languages - 'English' and 'American English' The rift between the two camps was never more apparent than yesterday in New York C...
Read full storyThe Bachelor Kisses Off Corrie - Sends Her Lips Packing Back To Kissimmee, Florida
SAN FRANCISCO - The Bachelor and his 'Gaggle of Gals' waltzed into the city by the bay, home of the 49ers and Giants. San Francisco, the town where Tony Bennett left his heart, Barry Bonds left his honesty, and Tiger Woods left his...ah lets see,...
Read full storyProduction Starts On Spoof JT Porno Flick 'No Blue Balls At Chelsea'
Keen to show that they're as on the ball as ever, a British hardcore porn movie production company has already started production of a spoof porn flick loosely based on the soccer sex scandal. Managing Director of BangEmOutSharpish Films, Albert L...
Read full storyVanessa Perroncel Seeks Advice Over Offers For Inside Story On John Terry Soccer Sex Scandal
In the latest dramatic development in the sex scandal to end all sex scandals I can exclusively reveal that French lingerie model and WAG extraordinaire Vanessa Perroncel has probably already called fellow WAG and Geordie chart warbler Cheryl Cole fo...
Read full storyTourists to UK Warned to be "vigilant' as Political Correctness Soars to New Heights!
The US Embassy today upgraded their Tourist Alert to "Ridiculous" from "Slightly Amusing" today, as the assault against common sense continued to threaten UK-US relations. According to a spokesman from the Embassy the upgrade became necessary afte...
Read full storyJohn Terry Scandal: Referendum To Be Held
As the John Terry situation started to get out of hand today, with people on both sides of the rift starting to care, the Football Association this afternoon announced that it will hold a nationwide referendum over whether or not the Chelsea defender...
Read full storyLocal Man Stops Drinking - Friends And Family Suspicious
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock was viewed with deep suspicion today by friends and family members as news emerged that he has not partaken of any form of alcoholic beverage since January 1st 2010. Shuttlecock, who grew up in the hard drinking, hard...
Read full storyEarth - Moon relationship hits all time low
The solar system is in turmoil today after Earth snubbed an invitation from the Moon raising fears that the 4.5 billion year relationship between the two could be heading down a black hole. The Moon has also learnt of allegations, revealed by the Sun...
Read full storyRip Torn Botches Bank Robbery
Famous for numerous movie roles, most recently acting as "Zed" in the Men in Black series, aging actor and now alleged bank robber, Rip Torn, was held in Connecticut jail following a failed attempt at making an early withdrawal without an account.
Read full storyLady Gaga Fashion Coordinator Fired After Grammys
Taking the advice of her fashion coordinator and personal designer for the event, Lady Gaga was again the talk of the red carpet and the object of ridicule after the Grammy Awards. The designer responsible for the dress design and the 36 inch vertic...
Read full storyIncompetent Surgeon Botched Penis Enhancement Procedure
Disgraced cosmetic surgeon Jaffari Al Jiggyjig faced a second day of questioning by the Greedy Medical Council over allegations that he ruined a patient's sex life when he allegedly botched a penis enhancement procedure on a man known as 'Patient X'...
Read full storyGrumpy Arrested at Dwarf Tossing Event
Grumpy of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs fame, was arrested last night in an undercover police sting operation, for organizing an illegal "dwarf tossing" event at the Skoob and Thistle Pub in Boston, Massachusetts. Illegal in France, Canada and a...
Read full storyZombies are returning to Haiti
Zombies from the UK are returning to Haiti which is a major problem for Gordon Brown as that is where Labour get their votes. Zombies the mindless creatures which are referred to as the walking dead always vote Labour. The Labour Party already loo...
Read full storySubo to become Suba after name change
Susan Boyle the most over rated singer since the beginning of time is planning to change her name by deed poll from Susan Boyle to Susan Banks. This is not the first time a Boyle has become a Banks many years ago the famous Glasgow Bookmaker John...
Read full storyNaked Rambler banned from Supermarket
Stephen Gough the former Royal Marine who has in recent years been known as the Naked Rambler because he walks all over the country wearing nothing but a hat and a rucksack has had a big dispute with supermarket supremos Tesdaburys . The Naked Ram...
Read full storyEngland's Football Captain John Terry May Be Traded To Brazil
LONDON - John Terry, England captain is quickly becoming the most hated man in the entire United Kingdom. The London Hand-Held Daily Mirror recently ran a survey to find out who the most hated man in Great Britain actually is. John Terry came out...
Read full storyPhonetic Alphabet Sponsored
The phonetic alphabet, popularised by the military, the police and by call centres has remained unchanged for several decades. Up until now it has remained: Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, Delta, Echo, Foxtrot, Golf, Hotel, Indigo, Juliet, Kilo, Lima, Mike...
Read full storyCheryl Cole Oozing Sexiness With Derek Hough of Dancing With The Stars In Her Newest Video "Parachute."
LONDON - Derek Hough of America's Dancing With The Stars flew to Great Britain to choreograph and dance in X-Factor Cheryl Cole's newest video "Parachute." Hough who is considered to be one of the best dancers in America remarked that he was surpr...
Read full storyTaylor Swift Drops and Breaks One of Her Four Grammys
HOLLYWOOD - Taylor Swift was backstage after The 52nd Annual Grammy Awards Show and she was posing with her four Grammys while dozens of photographers snapped her picture. Suddenly one of the Grammys slipped out of her hands and crashed down to th...
Read full storyDancing On Ice: Mrs. Gordon Ramsay Skates Off and Heather Mills Wears The Tightest Shorts In London
LONDON - Tana Ramsay, wife of the star of Hell's Kitchen and Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares, Gordon Ramsay, was the fourth celebrity ice skater to be eliminated from this season's Dancing On Ice. Tana, who was partnered with Stuart Widdal, seemed to...
Read full storyeBook Prices on the Rise, Amazon Kindles Stage Protest
New Yorkers got a shock today when they were treated to the sight of hundreds of Amazon kindles staging a protest in Penn Station. The electronic readers were angry with the talk of the possibility of increases in the prices of eBooks. They fear the...
Read full storyTaylor Swift Unheard Of In The East
News emerging from Southeast Asia this morning is that nobody at all has ever heard of the American person Taylor Swift, the individual so relentlessly written about on satirical news website TheSpoof.com. Locals in Japan, China, Malaysia, Indones...
Read full storyRevealed: Cloris Leachman's Ass, Face Fell Off During Dancing With The Stars
Only a few people saw what happened during a practice dance but Oscar Winning actress Cloris Leachman's ass and face fell off at one time. She had to be rushed to a hospital until specialists could get there and repair the damage. "It was so...
Read full storyJohn Terry To Be Stripped Of UK Citizenship
More bad news for John Terry this morning, after the Home Office issued an official statement saying that the Chelsea and England defender is to be immediately stripped of his UK citizenship after the latest 'JT scandal' hit newspaper front pages.
Read full storyBerlusconi called a "Nutz/Putz" After Trying to Suck Israel into Joining EU!
PM Silvio Berlusconi, with more seductions than Tiger Woods and John Terry to his credit, attempted to lure the Israelis into joining the EU during a meeting with PM Benjamin Netanyahu, who couldn't help laughing! Accompanied by eight (8) Nubile '...
Read full story