In the latest dramatic development in the sex scandal to end all sex scandals I can exclusively reveal that French lingerie model and WAG extraordinaire Vanessa Perroncel has probably already called fellow WAG and Geordie chart warbler Cheryl Cole for advice as to which of many substantial press offers for her version of events surrounding the John Terry affair she should accept.

Although Ms Perroncel is having her affairs managed by a well known PR guru, it seems highly likely that she would have spoken to wor Cheryl because of their commonality with Chelsea footballers, and because Cheryl has shitloads of experience of dealing with the media through her pop career and her association with high flying media types such as Simon Cowell and Louis Walsh.

"She'd be well advised to contact wor Cheryl for a bit of advice like," a Byker pub customer told us. "I read in the paper that she's been offered a quarter of a million for the story. Wor Cheryl's well placed to advise her when to strike for the best deal."

Latest information from sources suggests that Ms Perroncel could front it out for up to half a mil, which again brings into question the issue of the morality of cheque book journalism.

We further understand that the writers for a popular satirical website have clubbed together and offered Ms Perroncel £12.76, a mountain bike, a sandwich toaster, US$2.23, a puncture repair kit, a Barack Obama badge, an unspecified quantity of sliced bread and cheddar cheese and somebody's old video of a flight over the Grand Canyon for the exclusive scoop.

It appears doubtful at this point that Ms Perroncel will accept the offer as tabled.

More as I dream it up!