John Terry To Be Stripped Of UK Citizenship

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 2 February 2010

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Sheikh Abu Hamza

More bad news for John Terry this morning, after the Home Office issued an official statement saying that the Chelsea and England defender is to be immediately stripped of his UK citizenship after the latest 'JT scandal' hit newspaper front pages.

Terry, cocky bastard, was exposed at the weekend as having had a fling with Vanessa Perroncel, the former girlfriend of his former teammate, Wayne Bridge. Former England internationals have called for Terry to be stripped of the England team captaincy, but the Home Office has decided that, in such a serious case of 'cheating on yer mate', a more severe punishment is necessary.

Once described by his Chelsea colleague Frank Lampard as 'a man's man', Terry last week lost his High Court battle to have his philandering kept from the public eye, and may now be forced to become Scottish or Welsh, or something else unpalatable like that.

Terry will be the first man to be stripped of his UK citizenship since the controversial radical Muslim cleric Sheikh Abu Hamza in 2003.

Hamza and Terry: two peas in a pod, if you ask me.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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