Florida Recruits Say They Were Told Coach Urban Meyer Leaving For Dallas Cowboys

Funny story written by Jalapenoman

Tuesday, 2 February 2010


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Recruits who were being sought by multiple universities have stated that other schools told them that Florida's Head Football Coach Urban Meyer was leaving the program to coach the Dallas Cowboys. While this did not affect the decision of three known athletes, it is unknown how many potential Gators did choose to play elsewhere.

Urban Meyer has been at the University of Florida for four seasons and has won two NCAA football championships. He announced in January that he was taking a leave of absence to take care of his health.

When asked why it did not affect his decision that Meyer might be headed to the NFL and the Dallas Cowboys, Tyson Wilcox said "It don't effectate me none, cuz, you know, I plays basketball. I don't be carin' none bout no football coach and shit."

Bruce Rogers of the tennis program also agreed: "Coach Meyer did have a nice ass, but that isn't why I chose to come here. Besides, he's straight, isn't he?"

Lucy Saenz, a new softball recruit, felt the same as the others. "Maybe it would matter if he was going to coach the Cheerleaders, or to coach the New York Yankees, but that doesn't have anything to do with softball. I don't even understand why the coaches at Tennessee thought it was important to tell me this."

In Dallas, current Cowboys head coach Wade Phillips cried when he heard the news. His only intelligible words were "but Jerry Jones just gave me a new contract."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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