Grumpy Arrested at Dwarf Tossing Event

Funny story written by P.M. Wortham

Tuesday, 2 February 2010

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Grumpy of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs fame, was arrested last night in an undercover police sting operation, for organizing an illegal "dwarf tossing" event at the Skoob and Thistle Pub in Boston, Massachusetts.

Illegal in France, Canada and a number of U.S. States, the vile act is staged as a human interest event, typically at houses of ill repute or drinking establishments. Dressing the Little Person, as they prefer to be called, in a Velcro suit, drunken adult males and some beefy females take turns hurling the human projectile against a matching Velcro mattress.

"It's horrifying", says Percy Q. Tedd from the Little People of America. "Nothing is more degrading to us than this. It's like watching a puppy get kicked across the room."

Police Sergeant Harry I. Browman tells reporters, "It's an ugly thing to see. Funny, but ugly. Legally, we had to shut the thing down, though a few of the little guys didn't seem to mind participating. One who referred to himself as "Happy" was clearly baked out of his skull."

Though only the organizer of the event was targeted for arrest, other charges followed once dwarf participants were found with ample supplies of medical marijuana on their persons, without prescription. The dwarf known only as "Doc" was charged with trafficking.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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