There were 1,563 spoof news stories published in March 2009. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Is Kris Allen leaving his wife for a mysterious statuesque vixen?
Hollywood, California - Reports are emerging that American Idol contestant Kris Allen is leaving his wife for another woman. Reporters and paparazzi have packed up their bags after waiting out in front of OctuMom's lawn and did a mass exodus to t...
Read full storyAngelina Jolie Nude In Playguy Magazine
HOLLYWOOD - Playguy Magazine is thrilled to announce that Angelina Jolie has finally agreed to appear in a nude layout in the number one men's magazine in America. The 33-year-old beauty agreed to appear in the Playguy spread for a reported $4 mil...
Read full storyGeorge Clooney Caught Stroking Angelina Jolie's Vagina - Brad Pitt Doesen't Give A Toss
Actor Brad Pitt is said to be 'not bothered' after catching best friend and heterosexual actor George Clooney stroking his wife's vagina when he returned home early from filming his latest movie. Clooney, who is a frequent visitor to the home of J...
Read full storyGeorge Clooney Caught Stroking Angelina Jolie's Pussy - Brad Pitt Said To Be Furious
Actor Brad Pitt is said to be 'livid' after catching best friend and heterosexual actor George Clooney stroking his wife's Pussy when he returned home early from filming his latest movie. Clooney, who is a frequent visitor to the home of Jolie and...
Read full storyBrenda Song & Selena Gomez named the new Marilyn Monroes
Teen queens, Brenda Song and Selena Gomez have been recently named the new Marilyn Monroes of their generation. The starlets have not done any serious steamy photo shoots yet, but have showed interest in becoming sex symbols. Earlier this week, B...
Read full storyJenna Jameson and Ron Jeremy To Star In The X-Rated "Stimulus Package"
CHICAGO - G-Spot Productions in association with Gladiator Pictures has announced that Jenna Jameson and Ron Jeremy will star in the X-rated film Stimulus Package. Blue-eyed blonde Jenna, who has over 125 porn movies to her credit, plays the part...
Read full storyMan With World's Biggest Testicles Unable To Fly
The man with the World's largest gonads has been told he can not fly - which has forced him to reschedule his plans. "These enormous testicles are always giving me grief" said Terry Bloor of Leeds, Great Britain in the UK. "I was planning to fly d...
Read full storyThe Daily Beastiality Bought by Masturbating Monkey
The newest, latest, and hottest sexy beast of blogs, The Daily Beastiality has been getting hit on more often than a hotpantsed hoe in the 1970's Times Square. Even Johnnie McC, the senile Republicant flop from AZ has a sweet shortie of a daughter sq...
Read full storyBrenda Song, Rob Pattinson to appear nude on Magazine Cover
Teen queen, Brenda Song and Twilight star Rob Pattinson are reportedly set to appear nude on the cover of a magazine. Song's front will be covered with a bed sheet, but her bare back will be fully exposed. Pattinson on the other hand may appear fully...
Read full storyRihanna Reveals Her Bikini Line Tattoo
CHICAGO - Rihanna fresh from taking Chris (Brown) back after her horrendous fall in which she received facial bruises, a swollen lip, a bloody nose, as well as various other scrapes, abrasions, and cuts says she has never been happier. She told Ka…
Read full storyLast Of The Summer Wine - Howard And Marina Finally Get It On
Last Of The Summer Wine stalwarts, Howard and Marina finally got jiggy with it and got it on together on a wet and windy day in West Yorkshire. The couple have had several dozen attempts at sexual congress but hitherto have always been thwarted by...
Read full storyGordon Ramsay Bitch Slapped on Hell's Kitchen
Celebrity Chef Gordon Ramsay, host of the television series Hell's Kitchen, was bitch slapped by the husband of one of his contestants Tuesday evening. Ramsay had screamed at the woman because the grill marks on her grilled chicken were not in a per...
Read full storyLimbaugh's Own: Fromunda Cheese that's Not Just for Hannity Anymore
New York, NY -- Dittoheads the nation over are celebrating the new-found popularity of Limbaugh's Own, the brand name of Rush Limbaugh's very own blend of fromunda cheeses intended for mass consumption. "For years, I thought I was all alone," one...
Read full storyLittle and Large comedy duo split over supermarket catch-phrase
The world of entertainment was today rocked to its very foundations when it was revealed that comedy duo Syd Little and Eddie Large have split acrimonously as a result of a supermarket advertisement. It appears that Eddie Large was becoming increa...
Read full storyCatholic Church to Allow Fellatio; Cunnilingus
In a dramatic reversal from previous Papal policies, Pope Benedict XVI announced today that the Catholic Church will allow men to receive fellatio and women to enjoy cunnilingus. However, certain restrictions will apply to both acts. The Pope's d...
Read full storyJoran Van der Sloot Named Spokesman for Mexican Spring Break PR Campaign!
Cancun,Mexico/ Missing Persons News & Travel Alert Bulletin - A spokesman for the beleaguered Mexican Travel Bureau announced today a multi-million Peso ad campaign to encourage spring breakers to continue to flock to it's blood stained beaches.
Read full storyPatsy Palmer 'Livid' After Comic Relief Saggy Boob Jibe
In sensational scenes on 'Comic Relief Does the Apprentice' to be screened tonight, Patsy Palmer is seen attacking Ultimo Lingerie boss Michele Mone, with a DD underwired, padded bodyshaper after the multi-millionaire claimed that even her range of s...
Read full storyJennifer Aniston makes a deal with Devil for revenge while backstage at the Oscars; tries to hire Octu-Mom to seduce Brad Pitt away from Angelina Jolie
Hollywood, California - Having to put up with Angelina Jolie at the Oscars was hard enough for Jennifer Aniston but to endure seeing her arrive with her ex-husband, Brad Pitt? And both nominated for an Oscar, too? While she gets the job of an award...
Read full storyLed Zeppelin: Ten Little Known Facts
LONDON - Led Zeppelin was formed in 1968 (40 years ago!). The group was comprised of Robert Plant, 60, on vocals. Jimmy Page, 65, on lead guitar, John Paul Jones, 63, on bass guitar, and the late John Bonham on Drums. Many rock and roll writers consider Led Zeppelin to be the very first heavy metal band. They definitely had a guitar-driven sound. HERE ARE TEN LITTLE KNOWN FACTS ABOUT LED ZEP...
Read full storyTree That Killed Sonny Bono Dead
The Evergreen Tree that took the life of Congressman Sonny Bono, who first stepped into the spotlight as half of the singing duo Sonny and Cher, has died after ten years of people nailing messages to Sonny on it. It was 47. The evergreen tree was 47,...
Read full storyLondon Security Cameras Reach Saturation Point
A report commissioned by the Government into the use of security and other CCTV cameras in the capital has discovered that there are now more cameras in London than there are people. With the average camera costing £2000 to deploy this means that...
Read full storyRush Limbaugh Prefers World's Largest Penis to World's Largest Vagina
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - In a startling revelation, Rush Limbaugh has publicly announced that he prefers the world's largest penis to the world's largest vagina. "Look, folks," Limbaugh huffed on his show Monday. "I can't tell you how many times it's...
Read full storyRobin Williams suffered heart attack while doing Redd Foxx impersonation
Hollywood, California - Robin Williams (comedian/ method actor) was backstage with his agent, Jeffrey Goldfrab, going over some comedy routines for that ill-fated evening's canceled performance when suddenly he began to experience chest pains while d...
Read full storyBrenda Song & Keith Richards to Kick Off Collaboration Nude at Central Park
Central Park, New York -- Publicists for both Keith Richards and Brenda Song are confirming Internet rumors that the two plan a nude photo shoot, whilst ice skating together, for the cover of the duo's upcoming collaborative album. "I'm just sooo...
Read full storyCristiano Ronaldo Cottaging Worry
Cristiano Ronaldo, the Manchester United whinger whose sexuality has often been the subject of much discussion, has said he is not looking forward to this afternoon's match at Fulham, and to the threat of a bit of cottaging. The Craven Cottage cro...
Read full storyAngelina Furious After Brad Pitt Allows Ex Jennifer Aniston To Stroke His Massive Cock!
Actress Angelina Jolie is said to be furious after discovering that husband Brad Pitt has allowed his former girlfriend Jennifer Aniston to stroke his massive cock! Aniston, who was just passing the Pitt/Jolie house heard a familiar noise emitting...
Read full storyPE Porno Teacher Has Bad Head
A Headmaster has suspended a PE teacher following her posing for 'lewd' pictures on the internet. John Cole of Nova Mews Secondary said "I was looking at my usual websites. When Pam goes out I like to spend my Saturday yanking off to porn. But there...
Read full storyTeen queens, Vanessa Hudgens & Brenda Song cast in Twilight's Eclipse
Vanessa Hudgens and Brenda Song have been recently cast in Twilight's third movie Eclipse. Vanessa and Brenda, both 20, reportedly have a major part in the third movie a source has revealed. Vanessa will portray Lauren Mallory, who is a silver blonde...
Read full storyJade Goody: Husband To Be Buried With Her
As Jade Goody, the ex-reality TV star, begins her 'final countdown' to obscurity, it was revealed by her publicist Max Cash today that her husband is to be buried with her, even though he is far from dead! Jade wed Jack Tweed, or, indeed, Jack Twe...
Read full storyNo International Olympic Torch Relay in 2012
International torch relays have been scrapped for future Olympics, says the olympic committee. Problems with protestors and heavy-handed policing of the relay preceding the last Olympics have been given as the reasons. However, the committee has...
Read full storyZombie of Johnny Cash Attacks American Idol Adam Lambert
A brutal attack on Adam Lambert's following his performance Tuesday night has been traced to the zombie of Johnny Cash. Apparently enraged at Lambert's strange rendition of "Ring of Fire", the decomposed corpse of Cash clawed its way from the grave a…
Read full storyResident Evil 5 contains "hot coffee" bug, digital boobs exposed
Shock spoof news today as legendary games maker Capcome issued several writs and warnings about exposing the latest revulsion in in-game sexual content, available as hacks to the original game, Resident Evil 5. In what can only be seen as a blatan...
Read full storyHow They Work: Text Messages
They are gr8, aren't they? Well they are if you can understand them! Text messages have become a big part of modern life and an essential communications medium for teenagers. But have you ever stopped to wonder how they work? Luckily, I was recently invited to look this exact question up on Wikipedia, so I can explain the concepts. It all starts when you enter text into your mobile phone...
Read full storyState funeral for Jade Goody
It has been announced that Jade Goody will be given a state funeral. Anxious to make up for a perceived lack of compassion and sensitivity following the death of Princess Diana, The Queen has decided that the Buckingham Palace flag will fly at half...
Read full storyBigfoot, Yeti, And Loch Ness Monster Really Exist - Official
Oxbridgeford University Department Of Urban Mythology - Following years and years of painstaking research, scientists at Oxbridgeford University have finally confirmed that Bigfoot, the Yeti, and The Loch Ness Monster actually exist. They stated t...
Read full storyNatasha Richardson plight a stunt claim Goody bankers
New York - (Off-the-Piste Mess): Determined not to have their top client jocked off the world tabloid headlines at the crescendo of her short, self-publicising life Jade Goody's bankers have told Natasha Richardson's family to 'stop hogging the limel...
Read full storyKate Middleton: My Natasha Richardson Copycat Skiing Tragedy Fears
The Alps - (Klosters/Sloshters Mess): Desperate wannabe royal drama queen Kate Middleton freaked out today over fears of a 'copycat tragedy incident' in the Swiss Alps this week where she and William are courting free media publicity. "Some people...
Read full storyMormon Church of Latter Day Saints to Consider Allowing Masturbation
Mormon Church of Latter Day Saints (LDS) leaders gathered in secrecy last night to explore the option of allowing young men the right to masturbate to satisfy their youthful urges. Masturbation has always been forbidden in the church and church le...
Read full storyPalin Baby Given to Anthony Family
Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin today announced that her 18-year-old daughter Bristol - the unwed mother of a two-month-old child, Tripp - has split with Tripp's alleged father, 19-year-old Levi Johnson. The governor said Bristol secretly gave her baby...
Read full storyReport: ATM Not Sorry You Have Insufficient Funds
More problems arose today for the nation's beleaguered banks when it was revealed that all of their Automated-Teller Machines are not actually sorry that you have insufficient funds. The shocking revelation was outlined in a report released by the FS...
Read full storyThree Boys Show Up with Mammoth Boners in Michigan
Researchers have placed reports on worldwide net websites about three boys in southwest Michigan who are exhibiting mammoth boners. The odd part of the story is that the reports do not come from sex researchers or even urologists but can be traced ex...
Read full storyRangers F.C. change their name to Glasgow Rangers F.C.
One of the oldest and most successful football clubs in the world, Rangers F.C., today changed their name to Glasgow Rangers F.C.. This follows confusion amongst people that know nothing about football, nothing about Scotland, and nothing about much...
Read full storyVanessa Hudgens, Brenda Song, And Rob Pattinson Turn Down Parts In Spielberg Pirate Blockbuster
Consternation in the UK this evening as details filter through that talentless Hollywood teen actors, Brenda Song, Rob Pattinson and Vanessa Hudgens have actually had the temerity to turn down parts in Steven Spielberg's upcoming pirate blockbuster m...
Read full storyJacqui Smith Porn Film Row
The Home Secretary, Jacqui Smith, is this afternoon "very embarrassed" over her involvement in a row over films that have been deemed to be of a Pornographic nature, it has been reported. It's alleged that Ms Smith's husband, Richard Timney, viewe...
Read full storyOops! Britney Spears New Song "If You Seek Amy" Stirs Up Controversy!
LOS ANGELES - Oops! Britney Spears has gone and done it again. She has stirred up quite a hornet's nest with her latest music video. The song she sings in the video is titled "If You Seek Amy." And at first it seems like a perfectly innocent song...
Read full storyNew World Order pox Währung acmetal ist ACME - Amero stirbt
ST MORITZ Switzerland, - UPDATE - Die neue Währung auf Hitlers Geburtstag bekannt gegeben wird die Ware Kokain, die derzeit ermöglicht der Welt-Banking-Systeme gesichert werden. Nach meiner Quelle, kanadische Noball-Preis der Wiener Professo...
Read full storyFart Powered Car Breaks Record
A British engineer from Hampshire has broken the world land speed record for a human gas powered vehicle. Richard Jenkins reached 126.1 mph (202.9 kmh) in his car Greenbird on the dry plains of Ivanpah Lake in Nevada purely by using farts, collect...
Read full storyNew World Order pox currency acmetal is ACME - Amero dies
ASSTAN, Kazakhstan - UPDATE - The new currency to be announced on Hitler's birthday will be backed by the commodity cocaine, which currently enables the world's banking systems. According to my source, Canadian Noball-prize wiener Professor Obertrien...
Read full storyObama Adopts Monopoly Money as National Currency
Washington, DC - Barack Obama made history yet again today, giving a speech on Last Call with Carson Daly where he explained how money from the board game Monopoly will become the new national standard. "Gone are the days when Americans on Baltic...
Read full storyBBC weather forecast
Here is today's BBC weather forecast, brought to you by the Corporation's multi-million pound computer graphics-run system, and lots of faceless men that wouldn't know their rain from their drizzle: 'At dawn the sun will rise, making temperatures increase, and will cause widespread thawing of frost and occasional mist, as always happens in March. This will be followed by widespread warmer air a...
Read full storyJade Dead: to the world
On what many are banking on being her last night on this mortal coil, it has been reported that Jade Goody is "sleeping the sleep of the un-dead". In an undignified yet typical scene of domestic violence earlier this evening, sources close to Jade...
Read full storyTiger Woods is God! No, literally!
THE secret is out. The coincidences are too much of a coincidence. Ask any golfer and they will tell you that no mere human can do what He did and is doing. Sure, He loses occasionally at golf but that is only in keeping with His "mysterious ways" an...
Read full storyJade Goody Corpse To Be Sent Into Orbit
Jade Goody, the cancer-stricken ex-Big Brother housemate who has only a matter of weeks to live, is tonight rumoured to be at the centre of an astonishing new British National Space Centre project that will see her dead corpse sent into orbit. Goo...
Read full storyHome Sexcretary In Virgin Porn Cash Swindle
Jaqui Splff, Home Sexcretary, has been involved in yet another scandal. It seems that her husband has been sitting at home (one of their homes) and has been indulging in some pocket billiards. Obviously being the spouse of a cabinet minister can be l...
Read full storyJessica Simpson Back In Her Daisy Duke Short Shorts
PAINT LICK, Kentucky - The slim and trim version of Jessica Simpson is back! She certainly gave the concert-goers at The Salamander Stroganoff Festival in Paint Lick, Kentucky there money's worth and more. Je-Si pranced and danced and swayed and s...
Read full storyWhat is a Jade Goody?
As momentous events were unfolding across the world, with Middle Eastern wars and terrorist attacks in Ireland, and crumbling banking systems and tension in the former Soviet Union, the one thing people and especially satirists wanted to know was - w...
Read full storyJade Goody's ghostly image captured on Web Cam attacking Spoof Writer -- Is she seeking revenge on the media?
London, England - In the silent Web Cam tape footage, a somewhat ironically befitting contrasting epitaph to the passing of reality TV star, Jade Goody, an unknown spoof writer can be seen sitting at his computer writing a satire about her much-antic...
Read full storyBreast Model Sues Her Plastic Surgeon
OTTAWA, Canada - One of the most famous breast models in Canada, Quintessa Saginaw, 29, has sued her plastic surgeon Dr. Pierre Takabuki. Ms. Saginaw says that she went in for a simple breast augmentation and when she came out of the operating roo...
Read full storyBritney Spears, Miley Cyrus Considering Jade Goody 3-Way Request
NEW YORK CITY, NY - Just two days ago, Jade Goody mentioned her adulation for American pop-stars Spears and Cyrus, not knowing a camera was on. Now, the two are reportedly making arrangements to satisfy the dying wishes of the ailing Big Brother sta...
Read full storyMadonna Sues Over Botched Landing Strip
LOS ANGELES, CA - Madonna is suing the Vajayjay Bikini Waxing Salon claiming that her botched Brazilian waxing has caused so much pain and suffering, she may have to go back to A-Roid. According to the complaint, Madonna requested a Brazilian wax...
Read full storyBelow Decks: Chapter Seven - Roy 'Ship for Brains' Turse raises the Jolly Roger
Recap: Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five | Chapter Six Previously on Below Decks… The Frigate Buggerall has set sail from Bristol Harbour, its five year mission to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life, and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before in a leaky boat. A motley collection of crew members has been assembled unde...
Read full storyGeorge W. Bush Shoots Dick Cheney In the Face
AUSTIN, TX - Former Vice President Dick Cheney is in critical condition after being shot in the face by former President Bush at the latter's Prairie Chapel Ranch in Crawford, TX. According to witnesses, Bush saw a squirrel foraging at the base of...
Read full storyShetty "Drops Everything" To Rush To Jade Goody's Side
With fading celebrity Jade Goody said to be 'hours from death' the world's most beautiful woman, Shilpa Shetty, who once had an argument with the stricken reality star over a chicken stock cube, was said to be 'rushing to her side' to say goodbye yes...
Read full storyKate Beckinsale And Cristiano Ronaldo Jump On The Below Decks Bandwagon
Kate Beckinsale, the sultry temptress star of Van Helsing and the Underworld movies was joined by Manchester United midfielder Cristiano Ronaldo at a Manchester hotel to announce that they should be considered for roles in Steven Spielberg's upcoming...
Read full story'Goody-bye England's Woes' plea as Elton John does a runner
London - (Last Frights Mess): Despite weeks of frenetic PR cajoling to play his seminal 'Goody-bye England's Woes' tribute at Jade Goody's forthcoming reality tv funeral Elton John has mysteriously vanished. The entertainer had been offered a £££...
Read full storyJade Goody has only 9½ weeks left
I was revealed today that the unfortunate Jade Goody has only 9½ weeks left. The reality show winner, who, despite what everyone has said about her, has been sadly stricken with cancer, was said to be further devastated by the news that she offici...
Read full storyJade "Goody Bags" available soon
In what is being greeted as another brilliant marketing ploy,Jade Goody's name will be immortalised in a new line of confectionery the day after she dies. "C"lebrity Jade's PR team announced, at a press conference yesterday, an exciting new range...
Read full storyBlack armbands worn by BBC Scotland sports presenters
After Celtic's victory in the Scottish League Cup Final against arch-rivals Rangers, BBC Scotland presenters were today wearing black armbands, in a fitting tribute to the tragedy. Speaking from Glasgow, presenter Dougie Boynolly said: 'We are int...
Read full storyVanessa Hudgens And Brenda Song Kidnapped By Pirates - Rob Pattinson Too; Panic In Hollywood
In the 'Oh my GOD!' with hand covering mouth stakes, it doesn't come much more 'Oh my GOD!' than this. This evening, teen queens Vanessa Hudgens and Brenda Song were abducted in broad lamplight by a pirate raiding party on Hollywood Boulevard, in...
Read full storyGoody accountants livid at Princess Diana Memorial Fountain setback
London - (Reality TV Ass Mess): The cancellation of a £10 million upgrade of the Princess Diana Memorial Fountain into the Jade Goody Water Beacon has unleashed a torrent of bile among the reality tv contestant's accountants. The Hype Park water...
Read full storyIs Jade Goody Faking It? Ask Seaside Media Newspaper
Have the British public been duped, some are asking, and is it all nothing more than a publicity stunt? Of course it isn't - to suggest so would be awful - but, according to the 'Seaside Evening Standard' Jade Goody is Faking it! Editor, Simon Ga...
Read full storyD.A.R.E. Program Revamps With New 'Reverse Psychology' Tactic
The D.A.R.E.(Drug Abuse Resistance Education) program of the 1990's, thought by many to be a failure, is now gearing up to have another go at the youth of America with it's anti-drug message. Abington Township Police Chief Darryl Fleming bel...
Read full storyWorld's Ugliest Woman Shot
The World's most ugliest woman has been shot dead by police in China after neighbors in her village claimed she was 'scaring' their children. Claire Zang Pho Duckworth, 26, suffered from a rare illness which made her repulsive to look at - however...
Read full storyOcto Mom Arrested for Breast Feeding Brood while Driving and Talking on Cell Phone!
San Francisco,CA/ Mother Earth News - The California Highway patrol stopped and arrested a mother of Octuplets for breast feeding her brood while driving 65 mph in the breakdown lane of a busy freeway, and talking to her publicist on a cell phone.
Read full storyBattlestar Galactica may save Jade Goody!
It has emerged today that British television superstar and glamour icon Jade Goody may be cured as a result of a procedure loosely based on the resurrection abilities of the villainous robotic race on outgoing American sci-fi series Battlestar Galact...
Read full storyDoctors Complete First Successful Brain Transplant
Orlando, FL - Doctors at the University of the United States Medical Center have completed what they are calling the 'first successful brain transplant.' Neurosurgeon Ed Andrews explained the procedure. "Basically, we took out the old brain and...
Read full storySocial Scientists Define the Three Types of Cowboys
Research conducted by the Hubbard Museum of the American West has concluded that there are actually three different types of Cowboys in the United States. This system of measurement should be used when trying to typify any person claiming to be a Co...
Read full story"Star Wars" girl Natalie Portman is a real "Professional" "cleaner" when it comes to picking up dog poop
Hollywood, California - Apparently, Natalie Portman is a real "Professional" "cleaner" when it comes to picking up after dogs. I mean she just can't seem to get enough of the steamy stuff as she has been spotted cruising the streets of her Hollywood...
Read full storyMeghan McCain Defeats Ann Coulter, Now Takes On Laura Ingraham
CLEVELAND - Senator John and Cindy McCain's daughter Meghan McCain, 24, fresh from her triumphant thrashing of the conservative princess Ann Coulter, 47, has now turned her sights on the conservative diva Laura Ingraham, 44. Ingraham who lists her...
Read full storyLarry the Cable Guy Arrested For Impersonating a Comedian
New York City, NY-- Larry the Cable Guy was escorted out of Caroline's Comedy Club in handcuffs by police officers last Thursday night after "performing" in front of a sell-out crowd. He is currently being charged with impersonating a comedian.
Read full storyObama Finally Reciprocates: Jade Goody to be Honorary Los Angles Laker!
Los Angeles, California - President Barrack Obama announced today that he has finally found a Protocol Officer that passed muster, announcing the appointment of Martha Stewart to the post that has been embarrassingly lacking in the administration.
Read full storyIncest Dad Seeks Contact with Tot Mom
The Austrian Ogre, 73-year-old Josef Fritzl, is seeking his prison's permission to start an e-mail relationship with jailed 22-year-old American Tot Mom Casey Anthony. "I don't see any harm in it," Fritzl confirmed from his country club prison i...
Read full storyDollar obsolete - Amero to go into force April 1
WASHINGTON - A source reported that Amero will be cast out on April 1. It will replace dollar, peso and Canadian dollar. Exchange rates will be one Amero for peso, dollar or Canadian dollar. It is expected to be great stimulus to the economy of M...
Read full storyDiana Ross Top Pick for Obama's "Supremes" Court
Washington, DC - Diana Ross is the top pick of the Obama administration to fill a vacancy on the supreme court should one become available soon. The president, long a fan of Motown, had more than a few reasons to be happy when he was elected. Amo...
Read full storyWorld's Ugliest Man Shot
The World's most ugliest man has been shot dead by police in China after neighbors in his village claimed he was 'scaring' their children. Xi Zang Pho Phi, 26, suffered from a rare illness which made him repulsive to look at - however he had manag...
Read full storyJade Goody Dead "By Christmas"
Jade Goody, the former reality TV star who is mentally and terminally ill, is not expected to survive her ordeal for very much longer, and will definitely have expired by Christmas, says her public cyst, Max Cash. Jade is currently dying at home a...
Read full storyHowdy Doody In Nursing Home, Cracking Jokes, Cracking
Howdy Doody, the lovable star of the Howdy Doody Show in the early years of television is now in a nursing home in Los Angeles. "Talk about your Viagra's four hours, how'd you like to be stiff for 70 years?" stated the lovable wooden clown. "See,...
Read full storyAngelina Jolie And Brad Pitt To Adopt Madonna
PARIS - In perhaps one of the most unusual adoptions in the history of adoptions Angelina Jolie who is 33, and her live-in partner, Brad Pitt who is 45, are making plans to adopt Madonna who is 50. Brad and Angelina, aka Brangelina, have three bio...
Read full storyAlgerian Man Wants To Buy Jade Goody For Two Camels
A man in the Algerian city of Oran has said he wants to buy the English girl Jade Goody and he has offered to pay two camels in compensation to her new husband Jack Twede. Mr Tweed is a felon and has agreed the price. Kazim Haddad who is a rich...
Read full storyMeghan McCain: "Ann Coulter Still Wears A Training Bra"
PHOENIX - Meghan McCain, the 24-year-old daughter of Senator John McCain does not hide the fact that she cannot stand GOP self-professed princess Ann Coulter. Meghan who lists her occupation as "American Blogger" recently said that Coulter is offe...
Read full storyFritzl's Italian incest club discovered in Vatican dungeon
Rome - (ReUterus & Sordid Ass Mess): The Vatican's very own Joseph Fritzl-style dungeon was busted today in a dawn raid on the Catacombs. It resulted in Rome cops arresting a 69 year-old man and his son following a probe into the Austrian ince...
Read full storyGreetings card company to create Jade Goody Day
Greeting Cards maker Mallhark have decided to create a new day in honour and blessing of the miraculously wonderful Jade Goody. The cards, recycled from magazines such as Now!, Look! and Wowzers!, are likely to be on sale within the next few weeks.
Read full storyJenson Button Disqualified
Jenson Button has sensationally been disqualified from the Australian Grand Prix. Button, who finished first in the race, was relegated to last place by the sport's administrators who cited a recently introduced regulation that 'No English driver...
Read full storyMadonna Says She Finds OctuMom Sexy As Hell
NEW YORK CITY - Madonna fresh from divorcing Guy Ritchie and dating A-Rod, and a teenage Brazilian male model revealed to ABC's Barbara Walters that she finds OctuMom positively sexy. Madonna said that the mother of 14 has the most sensuously erot...
Read full storyJade Goody's Cremains to Be Auctioned Online
Not long after Roamin Catholics were celebrating mortality with their Dust to Dust Wednesday routine on the heels of their Fat Tuesday Pork-out, the Goody family, publicist and salavating heirs announced their plans for the burny remains of the not d...
Read full storyScores Missing After Statue of Liberty's Vagina Breaks Loose
New York, NY -- An unknown number of VIP dignitaries are still missing today as the Statue of Liberty's vagina fell off into the New York Harbor with them in it. Officials are not sure how many dignitaries, including members of their immediate fam...
Read full storyUFO seen hovering over Jade Goody's home
Essex - (X-Files Mess): The MoD was swamped with reports of a UFO sighting over Jade Goody's house in Essex today amid reports that an extraterrestrial 'welcome home' advance party was planning to escort the ailing reality tv contestant back to her a...
Read full storySearch of Fat Duck Reveals Underground Laboratory
It has emerged that a routine health and safety check at Heston Blumenthal's Fat Duck restaurant last month revealed a secret underground laboratory and gave rise to suspicions that the ginger chef, widely believed to be a genius, was planning to tak...
Read full storyA Goody waste of space
Jade Goody, half human half Alsatian has made the headlines again for no apparent reason other than the fact she is dying from cancer. In hospitals and care homes across Britain people who have lived fulfilling lives are in the same predicament. With...
Read full storyFEDEX Awarded US Mail Contract
Washington DC: In keeping with President Obama's campaign promise to reduce government waste the USPS will now be operated by private enterprise, namely FEDEX Corporation. The president has been very supportive of competition between potential co...
Read full storyManchester United To Change Team Badge
After their miserable and bad-tempered 2-0 defeat to Fulham at Craven Cottage yesterday, last year's Premier League champions Manchester United were forced to face the grim reality that their title might just be slipping away from them. United, no...
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