Meghan McCain Defeats Ann Coulter, Now Takes On Laura Ingraham

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 17 March 2009

image for Meghan McCain Defeats Ann Coulter, Now Takes On Laura Ingraham
Meghan McCain showcasing the like mother, like daughter cleavage (photo courtesy of Melissa Etheridge)

CLEVELAND - Senator John and Cindy McCain's daughter Meghan McCain, 24, fresh from her triumphant thrashing of the conservative princess Ann Coulter, 47, has now turned her sights on the conservative diva Laura Ingraham, 44.

Ingraham who lists her occupation as a radio host and female GOPolitical commentator has a radio program, "Ingraham The Great" which is heard daily on The Talking Outloud Radio Network.

TORN has only been in operation for two years and already has a listening audience that numbers well into the hundreds, the high 897.

Laura Ingraham has quickly become TORN's "Big Star," not because the size of her mouth but because of the size of what comes out of her mouth.

"Comedy Central's" resident pit bull Jon Stewart remarked, "Ingraham's tonsils have got to be coated with the nastiest, vilest, most repulsive matter known to man.

I mean the words and phrases that come out of that woman's mouth and pass through her unadulterated, soon-to-be-botoxed lips would make members of the meanest most vulgar lumberjack camp in Idaho cringe."

Megham McCain echoed Stewart's sentiments and added that Ingraham kind of looks like what a baby conceived by Ann Coulter and Andy Dick would look like.

She went on to say that she did not appreciate Laura saying that she had a fat ass. McCain said that it was kind of like the pot calling the kettle black.

She thought for a moment and added, or a skunk telling a pig he smells, or Cher telling Angelina Jolie that she has too many tattoos, or Georgy Bush telling Pinocchio that he's a liar.

When Ingraham was asked if she had indeed made the fat ass remark, she grinned and replied that actually she had been misquoted.

She said that what she really said was that (Meghan) McCain had a fat in drinking glass, and more specifically, Sonic's Route 44 Ounce Drinking Glass, which is really a cup but we will discard with the euphemistic synchronized logistical contingency for the sake of uncertainty.

Ingraham did state with crocodile tears in her eyes and aligator wax in her ears that the media did not say a word when Meghan said that she (Ingraham) had moon-surface-looking thighs or a butt that looked like she had accidentally fallen bottom first into an industrial cottage cheese vat at the Kraft factory.

The host of the radio show, "Ingraham The Great" was visibly shaken by Meghan's words and she responded by saying that her blonde hair is blonder than Meghan's blonde hair.

She then disclosed that she had, had several boyfriends in the past who had told her that she was the best kisser east of the Mississippi River.

When McCain was told of Ingraham's kissing remark, she laughed and said that she knows two of Ingraham's ex-boyfriends and they confided to her that they had each been paid $18 and $20 by Ingraham to make that statement.

When Meghan was told that Ann Coulter had told Sean Hannity that she wanted a rematch, she smiled, took a sip from her Bud Light Lime and said with a bravura look of confidence, "So Ann Coulter wants a rematch huh? Will Ann Coulter can rematch this!"

In a related story. Senator John McCain is negotiating with Sony Pictures to portray himself in the film, John McCain - Five And A Half Years In A You-Know-What.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more