Sports broadcaster punished for broadcasting filth
A prominent sports broadcaster has been rapped over their corporate knuckles for displaying what has been described as a "highly offensive" language. The emission in question concerned a recent football match between Cambridge United, playing at h...Read full story
Saints Are Sinners
Two members of Southampton football club, known as the Saints, have landed themselves in trouble. However bored spoof writers have been delighted with the news. It opens up opportunities to say things like 'Saints are devils', or 'Saints go marching.Read full story
Double-dealing Musharraf desperate to win Nobel Peace Prize now mouthing "lasting peace talks" with India!
NEW DELHI - After 9 years as a failed dictator pretending to be a democrat General Mushie was thrown out of office because he was too gutless to run as a civilian in democratic elections. But the little narcissist is without doubt a legend in his ow...Read full story
It's Geoff Boycott's Corridor of Uncertainty II
Hello, and welcome back to my corridor of uncertainty. This week I've received a very interesting letter from a chap who seems to be in a right mess. Dear Mr Boycott, I've always been a big fan of yours (CREEP) and now I think I need your help. It seems that I've got into a bit of a financial mess. I don't know where to turn to. It's not really my fault, but my frie...Read full story
Gary Glitter mistakingly signs up for euthanasia
Paul Gadd known by his self styled moniker Sir Gary of Glitter was last night locked in legal talks with a Swiss firm to try to break a legally binding contract. The 'leader of the chain gang' signed the contract on Friday morning with the Swiss h...Read full story
Robert Mugabe Becomes Car Insurance Chief Executive
A leading car insurance company today appointed Zimbabwean president Robert Mugabe as its chief executive. 'Oh yes', the African said, 'I will make them into the best car insurance company in history with my new policies, so out goes 3rd-party and...Read full story
Robbie Kray - The Forgotten Brother
The funeral was held today of Robbie Kray, the forgotten Kray brother. Literally nobody gathered at Whitechapel crematorium to pay their respects to the former East End villain. Barbara Windsor was too busy filming Eastenders to attend. Robbie was considerably younger than his more infamous siblings and by the time he was starting out on his criminal career Reggie, Ronnie and Charlie were all i...Read full story
Little Chef buy out The Fat Duck
Fine food outlet Little Chef has announced today they have bought the troubled eatery the Fat Duck in Bray. The publicly listed restaurant has seen its shares tumble due in large to the lack of fat cats dining at the Fat Duck because of the 'Credi...Read full story
Dr. Evil Threatens Global Rotation
Reuters - Mastermind Dr. Evil startled the world community yesterday by revealing that he is behind the global trend to install gigantic wind turbines which he claims to have personal control over. In a video taped press release from his lair deep...Read full story
Amy Winehouse to return 'home'
Amy Winehouse has announced she intends to live on a kibbutz in Israel when she finishes her 12 year sabbatical in the Caribbean. The singer has gone to the Caribbean to get as far away as possible from drugs - the islands are drug free - and it s...Read full story
Button booboo embarrasses Hillary
MOSCOW - (APE) Hillary Clinton, in her role as US Secretary of State, presented Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov with a mock panic button. Mr Lavrov was exicted by the state department's Russian language skills. TheSpoof.com has been poking fun at...Read full story
End of Whoop & Wail
Congress has passed a bill which will standardize the siren tones used by emergency services across the county for the first time. Rather than use the common Whoop and Wail style siren, a two-tone siren similar to the old sirens used in the UK and p...Read full story
Rush Limbaugh Challenges Obama To Live Debate, Pancake Eating Contest
Rush Limbaugh, in a rage over Barack Obama trying, according to him, to turn the U.S.A. into the U.S.A.S (Union of States of American Socialists), at a Wednesday night speaking engagement, accused him of turning America into a welfare state. Rush,...Read full story
Jimmy Somerville's voice breaks
Jimmy Somerville, the gay high-pitched vocalist with 80s band "The Communards" has announced today that his voice has finally broken. Mr Somerville, aged 48, had trouble speaking during the press conference, with his voice alternating between a h...Read full story
Michael Jackson, Inspired By Britney, Planing Even Bigger Comeback?
The now 50-year-old singer, Michael Jackson told reporters yesterday that he may go on a sort of "Farewell Tour" after his summer sets he has already announced. Michael arrived into the UK on March 3 with his three children - Prince Michael, 10, P...Read full story
The World Watches As Vanessa Breaks Zac's Heart...
Early Last week Vanessa Dumped Zac stating that "she was bored of him." Zac did his best to bring her back in to his arms but no luck. Vanessa said to the fans that were following about the breakup "women wanted Zac, So I quit. It wasn't anybody's...Read full story
British Olympic Organisers Blow Budget on English Identity Crisis
The people organising the London 2012 Olympics have today been blasted over the release of its latest budget report. The report reveals that £28m has already been spent on intense research to find or develop a national identity for England. Part o...Read full story
David Van Day Gatecrashes Kilimanjaro Triumph
Nine celebrities who have been climbing Mount Kilimanjaro in aid of Comic Relief, reached the summit as dawn broke this morning - only to find has-been wannabe celebrity, David Van Day, waiting for them with champagne. Nearly £1.4 million has been...Read full story
Robin Williams suffered heart attack while doing Redd Foxx impersonation
Hollywood, California - Robin Williams (comedian/ method actor) was backstage with his agent, Jeffrey Goldfrab, going over some comedy routines for that ill-fated evening's canceled performance when suddenly he began to experience chest pains while d...Read full story
Queen's terminal pact with Philip as couple travel to Switzerland 'clinic'
London - (Assisted Euthanasia Ass Mess): It's been billed as the royals' annual Swiss bank account healthcheck visit. But next week's all-expenses paid trip to the Gnomes of Zurich Safety Deposit Box-Clever AG, organised by Prince Charles, may a...Read full story
Aspartame approved for postnatal abortion : Update
WASHINGTON D.C. - UPDATE1 Man arrested for killing his tot daughter with aspartame! Recent Supreme Court case cited. Criminals can no longer hide behind government approval! Scientists announced to a crowded room of reporters today that aspartame...Read full story
Family Shocked At Woman's Performance At Funeral
Fammy Sossil of Lawrence County said that she and her family were shocked at what happened during her uncle's funeral in Gray Court. A Sandler, N.C., woman danced in front of the service, waved a wand around the casket, did three sumersaults, led...Read full story
Crafty chimps snag troop recruit with tool: Update
SAN DIEGO, California - Update Rebbecca Lebête has just been found walking in the woods with no face! Details still under investigation! Rebbecca Lebête has been missing for about two months from her suburban home in San Diego. Her anthropologic...Read full story
Not The Most-Recommended Blues-Singers Of 2009*
Pete "Papercut" Crybaby Big "Raw Red" Johnson Al "Global Warming" Gore "Squalin" Cat Stevens Big "Al Bundy" Ballscratcher Billy "Hung Dogs" Steinbrenner Joe "Last Legs" Flyhocker Jamie "Crabman" Woodcock Richard "We're All Gonna Die" Simmons Junior "On The John" Whoopee Malcolm "Pinworm" Twitcher Harvey "Runny Pus" Redbone "Blindman" Vertigo Laplander "Hotdog...Read full story
Obama Does Everything "by the book", Teleprompter Even in Bedroom During Sex!
Washington,DC/ National Bedroom Inquirer - In a shocking revelation, it was revealed today that the President has a prosthetic leg, more like a tripod, to keep him on point, and prevent him from falling on his ass in front of a national audience. Th...Read full story
Kepler Space Telescope Launched Today, Looking For Life!
NASA is preparing to launch the Kepler space telescope Friday to help answer questions that has boggled the minds of astronomers for centuries: is Earth the only habitable planet in the galaxy? If not, have they ever visited us? Do they have a big old telescope aimed at us? Are they actually receiving all those old "I Love Lucy" episodes? "This mission attempts to answer a question t...Read full story
The Bachelor Jason Now On Apology Tour
"I realize I'm probably right up there with Osama Bin Laden as the most hated man in America right now," and so The Bachelor Jason Mesnick has embarked on a national "I'm sorry for the last-minute Molly for Melissa uh....Molly switcheroo on national television" tour. First daytime TV stop: The Ellen DeGeneres Show , where he offers fans this old chestnut: "I think what I want to do first is to...Read full story
World's worst railway station
It has recently been discovered in the city of Alice Springs, a railway station is in the area. But it looks nothing like a station. It is named "The world's worst railway station in history". Inspectors who inspected the place very thorougly...Read full story
B of A to Lynch Merrily in Economic Tower of London
Investment Limp Firm Merrilly Welynchalong needed Bank of Amerika to buy it up and rescue it from the Bush worldwide economic collapse. That done, the limp firm continued to struggle. Further investigations into the cashmere company revealed that ca...Read full story
Failing Toy Maker to Market Affirmative Action Figures
One of the world's largest toy manufacturers, in the throws of economic collapse , in a last ditch effort to save their hide or at least their hair, has announced a new line of products. Their marketing department explained that the recent branding s...Read full story
George W Bush Steals Nation's Embryos
Just as BH Obama was about to convert the nation's embryos into embryo-yo's to give the world's children toys made from real human beings, former and still worst President ever George W Bush managed with the help of cloned ninja warriors to capture e...Read full story
Rush Limbaugh Accuses Obama of Secret Plan to Make Embryo-yo's
WKKK radio entertainer and Republican party lanceman, Rush Limbaugh told his millions of loyal if brainkless supporters that he has discovered incontroverible evidence that Barack obama plans on turning the millions of US potential citizens the size...Read full story
Red China Falls Over Stimulus package!
China's Communist regime is no more. Just two weeks after pirating and re-releasing as it's own a stimulus package based on one passed last month by the congress of the United States, Red China has stumbled and fallen. Crushed by the burden of over-w...Read full story
"Sexting" scandal breaks out on home schooling polygamist compound campus
Brimstone, Texas - It seems not even the most self secluded among us are capable of escaping our modern technical age, as it has been confirmed that several members of the home schooled student body of the House of Bethel Polygamist Compound in Brims...Read full story
Zimbabwean PM's wife's death "an accident"
Mrs Tsvangirai, the wife of the Zimbabwean Prime Minister, has died in an "accidental" car crash between her vehicle and ten tractors. The tractors were all driving at an "aggressive pace", according to witnesses. All ten of them struck the vehicl...Read full story
New Waterfront Hotel Opens in Pascagoula Mississippi
Pascagoula MS: A new luxurious waterfront hotel opened here today. This tourist destination is both a hotel and a theme park. All of the 5,000 rooms are configured to resemble staterooms aboard a cruise ship and the room rates include at sea entertai...Read full story
The Sky Is Falling
In dramatic news today it was revealed that the sky that we all take for granted could be falling. Mr C Little sent an e-mail to the BBC's news desk suggesting that the sky could in fact be about to collapse. Initially the BBC did not take the i...Read full story