Brenda Song & Keith Richards to Kick Off Collaboration Nude at Central Park

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Wednesday, 4 March 2009

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Brenda Song, Presenting Just a Hint of Ass Crack

Central Park, New York -- Publicists for both Keith Richards and Brenda Song are confirming Internet rumors that the two plan a nude photo shoot, whilst ice skating together, for the cover of the duo's upcoming collaborative album.

"I'm just sooo excited to work with one of my heroes," Ms. Song posted on her Website. "I know it'll be chilly, but I think the shoot will be in good taste. I think the human body is just so beautiful anyway -- I just can't wait to see the final pics when we're finished."

As for Richards, sources say that the veteran rock star "is up for a collaborative effort with the young star; however," the source explained, "it's taken a bit more effort to convince him of the necessity of the whole nude ice skating thing."

Pressed for details concerning Richards' apparent hang-up with the planned photo shoot, the source would only say that the rock star "had expressed very reasonable concerns early on, but that most of those concerns have been addressed sufficiently at this time."

Yet, another source has explained that Richards' primary concern was that "his balls hang down to his knees."

"I haven't seen them," the source quickly pointed out, "that's just what Keith has expressed through his agent, that, well his ball sack hangs down a good ways and so he was naturally concerned that that wouldn't look so good. But he was also concerned about getting them tangled up and about his legs, which could certainly pose a safety hazard on ice skates," the source explained.

"However, those concerns have been dealt with," claimed the source whilst further explaining that "Hollywood make-up artists will be on hand during the shoot, and they will have plenty of duct tape on hand to resolve those types of issues."

The other rumored "hang-ups" that have yet to be sorted out completely involve Richards' apparent desire to be photographed smoking a cigarette and drinking a can of beer at the same time as he's skating. Sources, though, say that "no final decisions have been made concerning that area of negotiations."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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