Jade Goody, the cancer-stricken ex-Big Brother housemate who has only a matter of weeks to live, is tonight rumoured to be at the centre of an astonishing new British National Space Centre project that will see her dead corpse sent into orbit.
Goody has millions of fans all over Britain, and is ensured almost-mythological status post-mortem, but the government is keen to avoid leaving any trace of her mug on Britain's landscape, and has decided to put her in a 'safe place' forever.
Jade will be blasted-off soon after she expires, on the British satellite, and set on an eternal orbit around the Moon at a height of 200 miles.
The BNSC has chosen the Moon as, in the event of any unforeseen problems, the satellite would hurtle back towards, not Earth, but the Moon, where not even the great Jade Goody could survive without oxygen.
Could she?
