Written by Frankie The J

Friday, 24 July 2009

image for House Page Injured in Pelosi Explosion Removed from Life Support
Youth gather at crematorium to honor killed House Page

Ron Paul IV, the 18-year-old House Page critically injured during Wednesday's explosion of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's head, was removed from life support late Thursday at Georgetown University Proctologic Hospital. His family was at his bedside as he slipped away to a "better world."

Paul was injured when Pelosi's left eyeball shot through the House Chambers at super sonic speed and became lodged in the throat of the teenager.

Proctologists were able to extract the eyeball from the young man's colon, but the damage had been done. He suffocated.

"We removed Little Ron from life support after the doctors assured us there was no chance that he would ever move his bowels again," said the Page's mother, Yolanda Paul. She told reporters that they had given permission for his organs to be transplanted, "but only in white, Republican people."

"Ron was such a good boy. It is fitting that this tragedy will help others to live," said President Obama in a Rose Garden news conference.

What remains remained were cremated.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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