New Jersey Public Officials Hold "Goin' Outta Bizness" Sale

Funny story written by Charpa93

Friday, 24 July 2009

image for New Jersey Public Officials Hold "Goin' Outta Bizness" Sale
Biggest Bust in NJ History?

Newark, NJ - The few Public Officials left in the New Jersey towns of Hoboken, Secaucas and Ridgefield, who have not already been taken into custody on charges of political corruption, including the taking of bribes for favors, were holding a going out of business sale. Sham businesses run by their arrested counterparts were being offered at fire sale prices. "Bargain basement is what yous can basically get dees here biznesses for," said Joey "the Arm" Graziano, deputy Mayor Assistant and part-time bodyguard. "Get 'em while they're hot, ha ha, no pun intended there, yous guys."

In addition, Rabbis, with cool names like Mordecai and Izhak, you know, really Old Testament names, who, better than anyone should know that God doesn't appreciate anyone going against his laws, were found guilty of setting up charities for purposes of laundering the money to send to Israel. And one of the Rabbis, accused of trafficking in human kidneys? Is he nuts? I mean, he must know how this God thing works.

Anyway, Gangsters (I mean Politicians) and Rabbis, maybe they all watched just a few too many episodes of The Sopranos, or maybe the almighty dollar has finally trumped the Almighty.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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