A local man used electric hedge-trimmers to sever his arms and legs from his body just so that he could get access to the only disabled parking space in the area.
John Smythe, 42, was sick and tired of never being able to find a parking space when he needed it. He had wasted lots of money on petrol driving around waiting to find a decent spot to park his 1973 Trabant.
Then one day he noticed that the local council had created a disabled parking space right outside his favourite takeaway, 'Mr. Yings Happy Time Palace of Noodles'.
Mr. Smythe raced home excitedly and set about chopping off his legs just below the knees, and then leaping onto the hedge-trimmer while it was running and severing both his arms.
"The massive loss of blood was worth it in the end for such a wonderful place to park", said John today as he was given official permission to park in the luxury disabled zone, "with parking these days, people would give an arm and leg for a space like that - maybe both their arms and legs!"
