Written by Don Fulsom

Friday, 24 July 2009

Disgraced former football great Michael Vick announced today that he intends to become a veterinarian, specializing in brutally abused canines.

"If the NFL lets me play again," Vice declared, "my post-career hope is become a vet and treat maimed dogs, especially those that fought in illegal dog fights."

Recently released from a stint in prison for a multitude of crimes against dogs, Vick said first, though, he'd like to make millions of dollars again as a pro-football quarterback. He said he'd like to start out with the Washington Redskins, which has a habit of paying top dollar for faded stars, like Deon Sanders and Jeff George.

"If those guys could bilk that stupid spendthrift Danny Snyder, why can't I?" If it doesn't work out, I'll still have millions of Danny's money so I can afford the best vet office in the country-if, indeed, I go through with my current intention-which, of course, might change in future years."

Vick is seeking a ten-year, $50-million contract with the Redskins. Sources close to the team say Snyder may even go higher in order to land the ex-convict who hasn't thrown a football in years.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Michael Jackson




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