Written by Wire Piddle

Friday, 24 July 2009

image for Yale Psychology Professor Says 90% of Harvard Professors Suffer From Narcissistic Personality Disorder

New Haven, CT - Yale professor Janoc Sterling believes that 90% of Harvard professors suffer from Narcissistic Personality Disorder and there's not a 'bloody thing' anyone can do about it.

Speaking on the issue of the arrest of Henry Louis Gates Jr., Professor Sterling noted that "...the overwhelming majority of Harvard professors, 90%, have what we call Narcisistic Personality Disorder. Although a small proportion of these turn into serial killers, sociopaths and other deviants, many become leaders; captains of industry, politicians and even game show hosts. They are very adept at blending in with society as a whole. They can be very productive, especially in societies where narcissism is rewarded.

"It takes a lot of infrastructure to support the narcissist. Las Vegas is a perfect example. Take away the narcissism from Las Vegas and you'd be left with a shithole in the desert. Bwahahaha!!!"

People with this disorder exhibit the following traits:


  1. Have a grandiose sense of self-importance
  2. Are preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty or ideal love (megalomania)
  3. Believe they are "special" and can only be understood by, or should associate with, people (or institutions) who are also "special" or of high status
  4. Require excessive admiration
  5. Have a sense of entitlement
  6. Are interpersonally exploitative
  7. Lack empathy
  8. Are often envious of others or believes others are envious of him or her
  9. Show arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes

When asked to give a list of Harvard associated people who displayed these characteristics, Professor Sterling stated that it would be easier to give a list of Harvard people that didn't have these characteristics but "...you wouldn't know any of them anyway so....what's the point?"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: Psychology




Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
37 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more