Dead superstar Michael Jackson is the father of David and Mercy, the two Malawian children adopted by singer Madonna, so claims a lawyer for the Jackson family.
Jackson has been linked to many children in recent weeks, including some freaky-looking creep from Norway, but the lawyer is certain that Jackson is the father of the Malawian duo.
"The children are black. Michael was black once upon a time. Its an open and shut case as far as I'm concerned", said the shifty lawyer today as he smoked a cigar made from rolled up $20 bills.
Madonna has refused to issue a public statement on the matter but nosy insiders have leaked details, which indicate that that the Material Girl is worried.
A photograph taken yesterday seems to show the two children performing the Moonwalk and grabbing their crotches, which we all know were trademark pieces of weird shit that Jacko did compulsively.
The African's have also been seen hanging around with children an awful lot lately too, which has worried some observers that they may be indeed be their father's children.