Catholic Church Changes Stance On Abortion After Pope Visit To Denney's
Vatican City--In a stunning move today, the Vatican announced that the Catholic church is now "pro-choice". The surprising news comes following Pope Benedict XVI's recent evening out at a local Denney's. "I couldn't believe the number of children...
Read full storyFr. Francois' Confessional #07
Dear Fr. Francois: I am in a loveless marriage--well, it is loveless for me. My wife of 22 years is in love alright, with a donkey she worked with in Tijuana. Marissa claims their relationship has only been a "professional" relationship; but I wonder why she's always slipping away from Ocean Beach to meet Juan in Chula Vista? I'm saddened to tell you that I hired a private investigator, Di...
Read full storyJackson Family Plea - Help Us Keep This Going!
Recently deceased (or is he?) Michael Jackson's extended family have requested the public for assistance in keeping Michael's story alive. "Let us hear your conspiracy theories about how the IRA did away with Michael" pleads his bereft father at t...
Read full storyTiger Woods' Insurance Company Wants Him To Admit To Fart
New York, NY- Tiger Woods' insurance company has released a statement that Tiger Woods did indeed pass wind at the Buick Open at Warwick Hills GCC, thus avoiding any long, drawn out litigation between various parties. It is understood that Tiger...
Read full storyDoctors Stumped by Rappers Itch
Atlanta - Viewers of rap artists writhing around making repetitive spastic arm gestures and wearing baggy clothing have been traced to a mysterious skin rash like eczema that seems to be contracted by rap artists. Rap star Big Silly Willy says "It...
Read full story"NYC Wino Diet" Latest Fad
With Americans ballooning to bigger and bigger sizes, a group of skinny winos in New York City have come up with the perfect diet where you can eat all you want and still stay thin. "The key is cheap wine", states Wino Five, one of five winos whic...
Read full storyBNP supporters cannot vote due to inability to open a door
Nick Griffin has launched an attack against the whole UK electoral system, saying it discriminates against the supporters of his party. "Many of our supporters are rendered housebound as they find a door a significant challenge. We have lost many...
Read full storyBill Clinton Seeks to Rescue More Beautiful Women
Former President Bill Clinton bravely entered the country of North Korea and emerged victoriously with two beautiful American journalists, one on each arm. However, both journalists were married and neither had any romantic inclinations toward the f...
Read full storyKate of Jon and Kate Plus 8 Wants To Meet "Kentucky" Kevin Skinner
WYOMISSING, Pennsylvania - Kate Gosselin confided to one of her best friends Jenna Lambrusco that she would love to meet Kevin Skinner. Skinner who is a contestant on America's Got Talent is one of the favorites to win the show's top prize of $1 m...
Read full storyUniversity Attendance To Be "Compulsory"
University places are to be made available to the entire population of the UK,according to a leading Government spokesman today. Sixty million places have been created and applications will be welcomed from tomorrow. It is expected that, in order...
Read full storyNancy Pelosi swapped for new model in cash for clunkers deal
Pacific Heights, San Francisco - (Rust Bucket Mess): San Francisco Cockfish football team owner Paul Pelosi is rumored to be trading in his longtime clunker of 46 years under a government-sponsored scrappage scheme. The deal will see Nancy Reagan...
Read full storySarah Wollaston in topless shock
The Tories' new candidate for Totnes, Dr Sarah Wollaston, found herself embroiled in a scandal within days of gaining the post. According to rumours, it would appear that the fragrant GP is NOT intending to appear topless in the national tabloid p...
Read full storyObama Motors
Pres. Obama, president of the new GM,announced today that GM will no longer be building gasoline or diesel powered vehicles, all vehicles will be electric . He made an exception for the Corvette, however, which will be powered by gasoline V8's,...
Read full storyQuotes From The Book of Limbaugh
Rush Hudson Limbaugh III, 58, has just written his first book of quotes entitled, Quotes From The Book of Limbaugh. The noted radio host, political commentator, author, television personality, and well known and loved GOP ass-kisser loves being in the spotlight, which he says he actually invented back in the 60s. The book which is published by the Sequoia Sapling Publishing Company contains...
Read full storyPlastic Surgery Definitely Not Half Assed
New York City - Austin Trever, lawyer for prominent socialite Doris Hansen has announced the filing of an astronomical lawsuit. Suing for five hundred million dollars Trever alleges that Dr. Marc Sterling destroyed the face of his former wife w...
Read full storyBill Clinton and Kim Jong Il - New BFF's!
PYONGYANG, North Korea - Kim Jong Il, president of North Korea met with former President Bill Clinton and he has agreed to pardon the two American journalists who had been sentenced to 12 years in a North Korean prison. Kim Jong Il said that Hilla...
Read full storyHull City Sign Pattaya Striker
Hull City manager Phil Brown has moved to 'further' strengthen his squad for the upcoming Premier League campaign by signing a mystery striker from the Thai league team Pattaya City, it has been rumoured. Sources in Southeast Asia have confirmed -...
Read full storyRupert Murdouch to Purchase TheSpoof.com
Sally Sallyfourth IV, the majority owner of the British internet satire news site 'theSpoof.com' announced today the sale of the company to Rupert Murdouch, owner of the much larger world wide news satire company News Douch Corp. Mr. Sally Sallyf...
Read full storyWhat's Happened To Lindsay Lohan?
Hollywood was shocked to it's roots this week as photos of Lindsay Lohan were taken of her coming from a library with several books under her arms and partly skipping along the street, humming "The 59th Street Bridge Song" better known as "Feeling Gr...
Read full storyMan Dies In Toilet Horror
A 37 year old man died yesterday from severe head injuries in what police called a, "freak and horrific accident," in a cubicle of a public toilet in Silverdale, Lancashire. It appears that the as yet unnamed victim was suffering from an acute sto...
Read full storyGhost of Marilyn Monroe sings "Happy Birthday" Mr. President at White House
Washington, D.C. - Dionne Warwick and her Psychic Friends Network channeled the spirit of the deceased Marilyn Monroe at the White House today. The séance took place in the Oval Office, where Dionne Warwick herself got Marilyn Monroe to appear, convi...
Read full storySpoof Writers Meet - Break Space/Time Continuum
Portsmouth, UK: Concern is growing after two writers at theSpoof.com from completely different time zones met up in Portsmouth today. Skoob and Morse appear to have unwittingly broken the laws of Physics by appearing together in the same point in s...
Read full storySurprise surge in Sales but Boss, bemoans staff shortages!
Nigel Rimmer proprietor of South Devon confectionery wrapping company "Gaylord's Fruity Fudge Packers" today gave an interview bemoaning the difficulty in finding staff. I don't know what the problem could be?, he moaned whilst shrugging his shoul...
Read full storyChris Brown's community service likely to involve graffiti removal
LOS ANGELES - The Honorable Patricia Snegg, the judge who will sentence 20-year-old R&B singer Chris Brown for the beating of his girlfriend, Rihanna, is considering graffiti removal as an alternative to jail time, said sources with the Los Angel...
Read full storyHava Nodinnajaquet sworn in for second term as Iranian President
President Hava Nodinnajaquet has been sworn in as president of Iran followig his non-fixed win of a non-fixed election with non-fixed election results. The religious leader of Iran's governing body, Mullah Allmytee, swore the president in with the...
Read full storyTiger Woods Farts On Purpose, According To Runner-Up!
Ronald Thatcher, who was tied for first place during the last eighteen holes of the Buick Open, says that there's almost no way you can beat Tiger Woods anymore. "Tiger is very talented, probably one of the best of all time but he uses some unspor...
Read full storySomething's Very Fishy Here
BLUEBELL LAKES, ENGLAND, UK Queen Elizabeth II ordered all flags throughout the United Kingdom to be flown at half mast today in memory of Benson, the 64 pound carp which lived at Bluebell Lakes. He was not terribly smart, having been caught 63 ti...
Read full storyPolice Versus Internet
Last month in Wheeling, West Virginia, a tavern called J. D. Barnett's allowed one of their female bartenders to spit on a customer and shove him as if she were a savage animal; and she continued to get men involved in further harassment and bullying...
Read full storyBritain's sex-services sector growing fast
Out of work Brits have a real chance for employment as entry level sex-services workers, so says The Chartered Institute for Purchasing and Supply. The new report, released Wednesday, states, "(Our) monthly purchasing manager's index for the sex...
Read full storyPentacle Air FLT 69 encounters turbulence due to flatulence: Two injured
NASHVILLE, TN-A flight attendant and one passenger aboard Pentacle Air Flight 69 were slightly injured when the plane encountered severe "turbulence," Tuesday evening, during its approach to the Big Boobies Airstrip. "I'm not exactly certain wha...
Read full storyBill Clinton Cums Through--AGAIN!
Former President William Jefferson Clinton, AKA the Sperm Whale, tickled Kim Jong Il "in just the right places," resulting in the pardoning of two US journalists held in North Korea. "Ya know what ole Freud said, 'Sometimes a cigar is just a phallus...
Read full story"Lady'll Gag Ya" Detained!
LONDON,ENGLAND, UK Hideously deformed singing circus freak "Lady'll Gag Ya" was detained indefinitely today on charges of indecent exposure, willful destruction of a national treasure and suspicion of espionage. Gag Ya was in London to negotiate a...
Read full storyMIT Blackjack Team Breaks Bank with Opposite-of-Bernanke Fund
Using the same types of probability calculations that they once used to beat Las Vegas, the MIT Blackjack Team has now taken on Wall Street with more resounding success. The team's blackjack operation made famous in the book "Bringing Down the H...
Read full storyTottenham In For Bent!
Tottenham are all set to make a dramatic £15 Million bid for soon to be Sunderland forward Darren Bent. Bent is expected to join Sunderland from the White Hart Lane club later on today for a fee approaching £20 Million. However,Tottenham Manager H...
Read full storyTories' Totnes election shock for Sarah Wollaston
The Tories have been embarrassed by the results of their innovative candidate selection in Totnes. Although Sara Wollaston may have won the nomination from the first ever "Primary" held in the UK, the other votes reward closer scrutiny. Every v...
Read full storyMichael Jackson's Mum Puts Kids Up For Sale On eBay
There was widespread pandemonium on the internet auction site eBay today, after it was revealed that Katherine Jackson, the mother of the now-dead King of Pop, Michael Jackson - WACKO JACKO - had put his children up for sale. Jackson died of a hea...
Read full story"America's Got Chutzpa" Winner Named
LOS ANGELES, CA, USA The controversy heated up when Jerry Springer hosted the star-studded season finale of the "America's Got Chutzpa" competition, which aired on the all-Jewish channel, Yid/t.v. Springer is the host of the tabloid talk show "The...
Read full storySotomayor wears President Obama's underwear
Judge Sonia Sotomayor has admitted she wears President Obama's underwear. This is not the case, as many Republicans were hoping, of her sneaking in the Commander in Chief's bedroom, finding a pair of the presidential silky boxer shorts and enjoying t...
Read full storyChinese Men Fight With Algerian Men Over Parking Space
In Algeria today there was a big fight between a lot of Chinese men and some Algerian men because of a dispute over a parking space. Mr Abdelkrim Salouda who is a shopkeeper in the Bab Ezzouar district of Algiers asked a Chinese migrant worker to...
Read full storyTaliban Kicks Off Early Voting in Afghanistan With a Bang
KABUL, Afghanistan - At least eight rockets pummeled Kabul, the Afghan capital, shortly before dawn on Tuesday, as the Taliban kicked off early voting, said Afghan officials. No one was injured by these tactical ballots cast for The Insurgent Part...
Read full storyAhmadinejad Kisses Iran's Supreme Leader
Tehran, IR: Iran's Supreme Leader formally endorsed Mahmoud Ahmadinejad in a ceremony that portrayed close unity among the country's two leaders. The ceremony was held in the Shah Reza Pahlavi Memorial Hall. After Ayatollah Ali Khamenei gave his...
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