''Taliban might not be kidding'' claim MoD
Whitehall: Ministry of Defence officials have announced today that they are now seriously considering the fact that the Taliban militia of Afghanistan may be considered a minor threat to British troops. Once considered a close friend, ally, and ma...Read full story
Perseid Shower blocks view of Meteors
Astrologers all over the country are dismayed this evening after their view of spectacular meteors was blocked out by a Perseid Shower. The meteors are usually viewable for two nights at this time of year, but tonight proved not to be one. A grou...Read full story
Gangrene vagina-brain Jordan is the new Heather Mills
London - (Big Booby Mess): Bosomed-enhanced alkie and compulsive attention milker Katie Price is the new Heather Mills. The 31 year-old reality TV hasbeen has overtaken vegan nutter Heather as the nation's favorite harridan according to a Celeb Z-...Read full story
Digital TV Switch Over: Thank Goodness It Was Only Wales
Hundreds of complaints have come in after an area of Wales made the UK's first change over to fully digital TV. The callers were all upset to find that BBC2 was no longer available. Mr Jones from Swansea was one of those affected. He lost BBC2 a...Read full story
The "Cliché Killer" still at large
The Metropolitan police are still on the hunt today for the serial killer believed to be at large in the Central London area. The unknown assassin has been nicknamed the "Cliché Killer" by the tabloid press, following the themed, staged murder sc...Read full story
All Health Care can be Outsourced to India
LAS VEGAS - - A Health Care package being spearheaded by former President George Bush and former House Speaker Newt Gingrich promises total and complete health care coverage for all Americans. The plan, which was the result of week long brain sto...Read full story
Prostitutes Taken Care Of In Small Town
When several prostitutes invaded Huff, Tennessee from Nashville, the local girls knew exactly what to do. They called the local sheriff. Sheriff Butters' deputy, Howard Stern, took the call and told the lady calling that she had nothing to worry...Read full story
Jay Z down to 95 Problems...
Rapper and Mah-Jong record holder Jay Z was happy to announce that he has been able to successfully eliminate 4 of his "problems" since his 2003 hit song drew Worldwide attention to his plight. Talking in a press conference Jay Z explained that th...Read full story
Hillary Clinton falls in Africa but nobody hears her crash
Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has become the least relevant cabinet member since --well, since -- in US history. Nobody cares one whit what she says or does. Obama conducts his own foreign policy without seeking her input. Her husband, fo...Read full story
Anderson Cooper Interviews The New Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor
Sonia Sotomayor granted CNN's Anderson Cooper the first interview since officially becoming a United States Supreme Court Judge. AC: Good morning Sonia, if I may call you Sonia. SS: Well actually I would prefer that you call me United States Supreme Court Justice Sotomayor. I worked very hard to achieve that title and I just want to hear it as many times as I can. AC: Fair enough. So tell...Read full story
B(o)all(o)ack rugby tackle on Evra seen by 90.000 Wembley spectators, missed by blind-bat Ref-Foy revives Kung Fu kicking in Premier league!
After the Community Shield game Man Utd's manager Sir Alex told ref Foy that he's a f*****g blind-bat twat in a pure Glaswegian, Gorbles accent, accusing him of preferential treatment towards Chelsea and a certain Russian! Hated by everybody excep...Read full story
Lou Dobbs an Illegal Alien, Judge Judy Rules
TV's Judge Judy has found that TV's Lou Dobbs-a leading "Birther"-is an undocumented foreigner. "This birth certificate is a fraud," Judge Judy yelled at Dobbs as the two shouters squared off in Judy's TV courtroom. "Who are you trying to kid,...Read full story
Mrs Edna Jackson comes forward at long last
Meet Edna Jackson, a woman who has filed three guardianship petitions - one for each of Michel Jackson's three children. Edna declaired today, "I am the biological mother of Prince Michael Jackson II and all of his siblings." I am married to...Read full story
Terry the Infidel taken Hostage - Again?
Terry Jones the famous hostage known worldwide as Terry the infidel has been taken hostage yet again! Jones shot to fame on youtube for the most hilarious hostage video ever released in which several of the captors were laughing at something Jone...Read full story
Customs and Trading Standards Swoop in Consumer Protection Coup
It was just another quiet late duty for border protection officers at Felixstowe Docks on Saturday the 8th August 2009; a routine search of a forty foot container from China changed all that. Tom Vagneska, Senior Officer in the Container Rummage t...Read full story
Money Now Worth Nothing.
The long lasting recession has caused in many a belief that money no longer has any value. "What good is it to waste my whole day getting ready for work, going to work, working, going home from work, then spending the rest of my night recoverin...Read full story
Hilary Clinton "Blows" her top after being asked about Bill's opinion on "Blow Jobs"!
Hilary Clinton, whilst visiting African states lost her cool and gave a massive "Blow away Job" to students at a press conference after they insultingly asked Hilary what does Bill think about "Blow Jobs"! Hilary counter-attacked the students and...Read full story
Miley Cyrus Action Figure Doll Sales Reach One Billion Mark!
HOLLYWOOD - The Fishing Prize Toy Company, makers of The Miley Cyrus Action Figure Doll have just announced that sales of that one-foot tall doll have reached the one billion mark. Cedar F. Rivermist, CEO of Fishing Prize said that the Miley Cyrus...Read full story
Apprentice Loser Kate Walsh To Wear Number Five Costume For New Show
Apprentice finalist Kate Walsh has won a job co-hosting a topical news magazine programme after agreeing to present while dressed as the number five. The new show, on Five, will feature Kate alongside Ian Wright and Mellinda Messinger and will be ba...Read full story
The White House Tells Rush Limbaugh To Cut The "Nazi" Remarks Now!
WASHINGTON, D.C. - White House Spokesperson Cal Colfax has just informed GOPolitical commentator Rush Limbaugh that his anti-President Obama remarks are beginning to sound very derogatory and offensive and that he better stop making them now, if not...Read full story
A Florida Grandfather May Go To Prison For Groping Minnie Mouse
ORLANDO, Florida - A 60-year-old grandfather, John Moyer, is on trial for allegedly inappropriately touching Minnie Mouse in the Magic Kingdom. Grandpa Moyer supposedly touched the costumed character's chest (cajooblies) and buttocks (butt). He sa...Read full story
Britain declares war on America
The release of secret documents under the Freedom of Information Act show that Britain was on the verge of declaring war on the United States of America in the summer of 1975. The British Government had drawn up plans to denounce American involvem...Read full story
Demi Moore Dumps Ashton Kutcher For A Younger Man
HOLLYWOOD - Reports coming out of Tinseltown are stating that actress Demi Moore, 46, has dumped Ashton Kutcher, 31, for a younger man. It appears that the New Mexico native met her present love interest, Timmy Scandiano, 19, a week ago while she...Read full story
'Technology' Company Spiv-Blokes Under Fire
Spiv-Blokes, a company that offers voicemail-to-text message transcription services, is under fire this week for copying the services provided by other companies in the sector. A TV documentary team has discovered that Spiv-Blokes has taken the...Read full story
The Set Of "Brothers & Sisters" Shut Down!
The set of the hit show "Brothers And Sisters" was shut down this week due to the outbreak of Swine Flu. The disease hit several crew members and as soon as Sally Field heard the news, she shut the filming down even before those in charge could re...Read full story
Katie Holmes Is Not Fighting Addiction!
Katie Holmes experiences her greatest joys from her husband Tom Cruise's fat uh..bank account while joking that she's a shopaholic! The 30-year-old actress is in Adelaide, Australia, with Tom as she shoots her new movie Don't Be Afraid of the Dark...Read full story
Keeping Our End Up
Intelligence Gathering Agencies in the U.K. have disclosed the effect of stress on their operatives in a new report out today. It has long been known that terrorist cells have been communicating with each other through pornographic web sites. In...Read full story
Attorney Says Dangling Roller Coaster Lawsuits Groundless
SANTA CLARA, CA - Firefighters rescued twenty-four people stuck on the Nowhertigo roller coaster Monday at the Ingrate America amusement park after the ride malfunctioned, said authorities. Firefighters used long ladders to pull the now incensed...Read full story
Hillary 'channels' Vince Foster advice to Congolese
Kinshasa - (Ectoplasm Mess): US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton wowed a Congolese press conference on Monday with an impromptu channeling of former husband Vince Foster's advice on a $9bn Chinese copper-for-AIDS deal. Foster died in mysterious...Read full story
Lindsay Lohan's New Shocking Movies
Lindsay Lohan's hopes are high right now as she got accepted to star in two new movies, her first two movies in more than two years! The first one is titled "The Great Education" also starring Hilary Duff, Robert Pattinson, Queen Latifah and Sir B...Read full story
Secret Behind Lady GaGa's Poker Face Revealed!
HOLLYWOOD, CA - Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta played strip poker with RoboByte Records executives in a mansion, where she removed her pleather and sequins, but not her smut and sass, said a source. RoboByte producer BigRedOne showed his appr...Read full story
Titanic Theory Sunk
A long held conspiracy theory regarding the sinking of the Titanic was dispelled yesterday when a submersible took underwater photographs of the Titanic on the sea bed. It had long been thought that the iceberg was not responsible for the sinking...Read full story
Fumes Apparatus Reveal Taliban
Scientists have made a breakthrough in electronic odour perception...in an attempt to produce an electronic drug sniffer, they discovered that whereas synthetic chemical odours were difficult to detect, human body odours, particularly flatulence, reg...Read full story
Have porn mags gone flaccid?
As far as I'm aware, masturbation Began on July 28th 1914. The world saw a new threat making it's latest advance into there homely lives and the only thing left a man could do was to shape up, join the forces and settle in for two years of mandatory handatory under the watch of the German war machine. Nothing feels more like home when you're in a wet French trench than reaching climax over a saucy...Read full story
Gordon Brown fights back
Gordon Brown decided to fight the public perception of him being an idiot. The prime minister went on holiday and left in charge very questionable individuals to run the country. The logic was simple - public must see that he is so much better than h...Read full story
Tiger Woods Fart 'Not An Accident' Say Other Players
Golfing legend-in-his-own-lifetime, Tiger Woods, has come under fire from other tour professionals for his ungentlemanly conduct on the golf course, it has been reported. Woods, the half-brother of TheSpoof.com writer, Monkey Woods, released a spl...Read full story
Norwich City Pitch Invaders Handed Severe Punishment By Club
The two Norwich City fans who ran onto the pitch on Ssaturday and threw their season tickets at club manager Bryan Gunn, have been handed severe punishments by the carrow Road hierarchy - their passes were returned, and they will be forced to watch e...Read full story
Michael Schumacher Steps Up F1 Training
Former World Champion Formula One racing driver Michael Schumacher will intensify training for his comeback this week, as he prepares to deputise for injured Felip Massa at the European Grand Prix in Valencia on 23 August, but he has a dodgy neck.Read full story
"Capybara" Chocolate raisins in product recall after giant rodent faeces found in factory.
Chocolate raisins have been withdrawn from supermarket shelves across Britain and Ireland after huge rat droppings were discovered under a conveyor belt in a peanut/raisin processing plant in the Midlands during a routine inspection by Food safety of...Read full story
Michael Jackson is Alive and Well and Living as His Alter Ego, Pee Wee Herman
Los Angeles, CA Sources close to God have informed us that Michael Jackson, A.K.A. 'The Gloved One', is actually alive and well and living as his alter ego, Pee Wee Herman. After delving into the history of Pee Wee Herman, it is interesting to note t...Read full story
Achmed Smeckledorpher to Speak about his Book
Chicago IL: Achmed Smeckledorpher, just back from living in a cave in Afghanistan, will be presenting his first tell all book "Sieg Saddam" at the Union Stock Yards (hog pens). US authorities reluctantly granted Mr. Smeckledorpher, a German citize...Read full story