Santa Claus Announces Milk and Cookies are for Pussies

Funny story: Santa Claus Announces Milk and Cookies are for Pussies

Santa Claus (a.k.a. Kris Kringle, Father Christmas, and by many other names) has announced that he is sick of the traditional plates of goodies left by children the world over. In fact, Jolly Old St. Nicholas stated in a press release that "milk and...

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National Health Service Bought By America

Funny story: National Health Service Bought By America

President Obama has triumphantly announced the purchase of the British National Health Service for immediate transfer across the pond. Advance elements of NHS shock troops will land in Chesapeake Bay next Tuesday, provided that it is not a Bank Ho...

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Myth Busted - Virginity Does Not Grow Back In 2 Weeks

Funny story: Myth Busted - Virginity Does Not Grow Back In 2 Weeks

The Mythbusters have excelled themselves. In a specially extended, 4-week programme, the guys were treated to 25 virgins each, at a rate of 3 per day with Saturdays off. Said a TV company boss - "I have never seen the guys so dedicated or keen. They...

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DNA Tests Prove John Edwards Not John Edwards!

Funny story: DNA Tests Prove John Edwards Not John Edwards!

In a big surprise Saturday, John Edwards, Senator from North Carolina who has taken a DNA test to see if he is the father of his mistress's 18-month-old daughter that was exposed by the National Enquirer last year, says the report shows that although...

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Woman with World's Largest Vagina Loses It Over Pizza Toppings

Funny story: Woman with World's Largest Vagina Loses It Over Pizza Toppings

WERNERSVILLE, PA - Kate Gosselin told "Today" host Meredith Vieira Monday that she still loves her soon-to-be ex-husband Jon; apparently, her hatred for whole grain pizza with mushrooms, onions, and green peppers runs even deeper. Police arrived a...

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David Moyes sacked following 6-1 thrashing

Funny story: David Moyes sacked following 6-1 thrashing

David Moyes has been sacked by Everton following their shock 6-1 thrashing at the hands of Arsenal on the first day of the season. In fact it transpired that he was sacked at half time, when Everton were trailing 3-0. The club tried to appoint Gra...

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Facebook Shuts Down Fake Sarah Palin Page

Funny story: Facebook Shuts Down Fake Sarah Palin Page

Hollywood, California - A Los Angeles screenwriter, Roger Anderson, decided that her would impersonate Sarah Palin by illegally accessing her Facebook account, posing as her. It was all a part of a social experiment he was conducting, he claims. To...

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Sarah Palin Summoned By Alaskan Judge

Funny story: Sarah Palin Summoned By Alaskan Judge

Saturday, former state governor, Sarah Palin received a summons from a judge in Juneau for a case that has been tied up in court for nearly two years. The case involved twelve mimes Palin had placed out with Alaskan state highway workers. The mime...

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'Lockerbie bomber fingers accomplice Gerry McCann' furor

Funny story: 'Lockerbie bomber fingers accomplice Gerry McCann' furor

HMP Greenock, Inverclyde - (Rioters): Scottish Justice Minister Kenny MacAskill is fuming after a Lockerbie Residents Association member threatened to expose Gerry McCann as the Pan Am 103 bomber's accomplice. Abdelbaset Ali al-Meghrahi 'confessed...

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Pope Benedict Distances Catholic Church From Pregnant Nun Mugging

Funny story: Pope Benedict Distances Catholic Church From Pregnant Nun Mugging

Pope Benedict XVI today declined to get involved in allegations that a pregnant Carmelite nun was robbed and sexually assaulted whilst delivering succour, salvation, and direct debit forms to lapsed catholics in Salford, Greater Manchester. Emergi...

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Joe the Plumber leads "Million Moron March"

Toledo, Ohio - An angry crowd of plumbers, gun owners, and other supporters marched through the streets of downtown Toledo, Saturday, led by anti-tax advocate, Joe the Plumber. They brandished a wide array of pipe-wrenches, plumbing snakes, as well...

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Gene splicing will allow males to forego nipples in favor of larger penises

Funny story: Gene splicing will allow males to forego nipples in favor of larger penises

SALEMS LOT, ME - Geneticists at the University of Maine Salems Lot Campus have announced a stunning breakthrough in the field of genetic splicing, at a news conference on Saturday afternoon. "This is a wonderful feat of genetic engineering," said...

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Just Leave Me Alone - Arthur Pewty

Funny story: Just Leave Me Alone - Arthur Pewty

Alleged Neasden gangster and Mr Fixit, Arthur Pewty of Neasden today appealed to massed ranks of press and paparazzi to leave him alone. Reciting an oft repeated mantra, Pewty denied any link between himself and organised crime, despite being impl...

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Amy Winehouse Holds Up Plane Traffic At JFK

Funny story: Amy Winehouse Holds Up Plane Traffic At JFK

Ditsy singer Amy Winehouse caused a huge delay at New York's Kennedy Airport this morning as she got on a plane, must have dozed before takeoff and got up and left her seat and exited as others got on. Seeing what had happened, a stewardess quickl...

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Dive Flu outbreak at Chelsea opener

Funny story: Dive Flu outbreak at Chelsea opener

It didn't take long. As Chelsea opened the Premier League season against Hull, it was John Obi Mikel who confirmed that Dive Flu has infiltrated Chelsea's 2009/10 squad. First reported here at the end of last season, this strange condition has a...

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Pheasant Plucker's Son Lashes Out

Funny story: Pheasant Plucker's Son Lashes Out

Chartered Accountant, Ellsworth Biggins 39 of Virginia Water, Surrey today reacted angrily to accusations from Malicious sources which had branded him as a 'Pheasant Plucker'. "I am not a pheasant plucker, I am a chartered accountant," Biggins tol...

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Fr. Francois Dubois, S.J. to be elevated to Monsignor by President Obama

Funny story: Fr. Francois Dubois, S.J. to be elevated to Monsignor by President Obama

WASHINGTON, DC - The Vatican announced today that Jesuit Priest Fr. Fran├žois Dubois is to be elevated to the office of Monsignor, Sunday, in a White House ceremony presided over by President Barack Obama. This is an obvious break in Roman Cathol...

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"Chase Me!" Says Didier Drogba

Funny story: "Chase Me!" Says Didier Drogba

Bizarre behaviour being reported from Stamford Bridge as Didier Drogba nets the winner against Hull City, as an attempted cross looped over the goalkeeper into the net. As Drogba wheeled away from the goal, he invited team mates to chase him. Exhi...

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Iowa Man Designs Tornado-Proof Trailer Park

Funny story: Iowa Man Designs Tornado-Proof Trailer Park

WATERLOO, Iowa - Dean Biffersteen, an unemployed graphic designer has designed what he says is a tornado-proof trailer park. Biffersteen was recently terminated at The Tobias Talbot and Second Cousins Graphic Design Agency for allegedly sexually h...

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Venice hotel's one-cent special is a hit with Mark Lowton!

Funny story: Venice hotel's one-cent special is a hit with Mark Lowton!

VENICE - In tough economic times such as those we live in today, everybody has had to cut back on vacation travel. Airfare is outrageously expensive from the US to Europe, and even within the continent, and luxury hotels can cost as much for one wee...

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Michael Jackson On Ice

Funny story: Michael Jackson On Ice

Los Angeles, CA - According to anonymous zamboni drivers, Michael Jackson is on ice, in a deep freeze, awaiting burial once the Jackson family have come to grips with the fact that the only breadwinner in the family has left the building. Said fa...

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Gazzspeare's Secret Poem For Diana

Funny story: Gazzspeare's Secret Poem For Diana

After the publishing of footballer Paul Gascoigne's poem to the recently deceased Sir Bobby Robson, members of the public have come forward and provided poems that Gazza has written in the past. Literature experts Jack Tweed and Paris Hilton have...

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NASA to scrap rocket power in favor of Astral Projection

Funny story: NASA to scrap rocket power in favor of Astral Projection

HOUSTON, Texas -- Major General Charles F. Bolden, Jr., the new NASA Administrator confirmed by congress on July 15, 2009, has released a memorandum to senior space cadets informing them of his decision to drastically cut the budget-and staff-of NASA...

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Pharma Cartel May Soon Unleash Donkey Flu & Bullshit Flu Virus

Funny story: Pharma Cartel May Soon Unleash Donkey Flu & Bullshit Flu Virus

If you think that you have had enough of swine flu madness and that after frequent promising-moon-but-leaving-you-with-a-worthless-mound (i.e. foretelling millions of deaths but supplying only few hundred corpses) bouts of worldwide pandemics, the w...

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Jesus returns, arrested following sermon

Funny story: Jesus returns, arrested following sermon

LYNCHBURG, Va. - Jesus of Nazareth, AKA the Christ, was arrested by agents from Homeland Security following a Saturday morning sermon preached in this southern Virginia town that is home to Liberty University, founded by the late Baptist minister, Dr...

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Nigeria Is A Funny Place!

Funny story: Nigeria Is A Funny Place!

When people like to go on holidays they should not always think about Spain or France or the USA or the UK because a great place to go on your holidays is in the African country of Nigeria! And its funny! Nigerian people are so friendly and welcome you into their homes all the time. But be careful as they sometimes kidnap you and pester your family for money. They might kill you as well. Tha...

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Anti Ageing Products Proven Effective - New Report

Funny story: Anti Ageing Products Proven Effective - New Report

Prostoglandin works! Niaciorhombohydrehide is effective at reducing wrinkles! Say goodbye to laughter lines with strepttidiaorrhoic alimintary gum extract! You may not be able to find these compounds in chemical textbooks, but the beauty ind...

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Barack Obama Tripped-Up By Damon Weaver, 11

Funny story: Barack Obama Tripped-Up By Damon Weaver, 11

He might have been able to confound his critics thus far with some smooth talking and deft sideways moves, but US President Barack Obama was no match for the probing skills of 11-year-old schoolboy interviewer Damon Weaver yesterday. Obama agreed...

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"American Idol" Judge Interviews Crashed by Susan Boyle

Funny story: "American Idol" Judge Interviews Crashed by Susan Boyle

Hollywood, California - Reportedly, Susan Boyle is emotionally blackmailing Simon Cowell. Threatening to make another scandal of herself by having another psychotic breakdown and checking into a Rehab center again, if he does not select her as Paula...

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Simon Cowell on "American Idol" replacement: "My God, isn't there a Bird out there that will fit into Paula Abdul's old dresses!"

Funny story: Simon Cowell on "American Idol" replacement: "My God, isn't there a Bird out there that will fit into Paula Abdul's old dresses!"

Hollywood, California - Staying true to form, Simon Cowell inadvertently blurted out what he really thinks of Paula Abdul's contribution to the "American Idol" show when his microphone was left on picking up on a conversation between him and an assoc...

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Shock as Jobs Unveils New i-phone.

Funny story: Shock as Jobs Unveils New i-phone.

Seattle: Members of the press were shocked today as Steve Jobs unveiled the latest version of the i-phone. The new phone, which Jobs described as 'revolutionary' is a third of the size of the current model and is re-charged as you sleep by inserting...

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Missouri Convent Nuns Beat The Hell Out Of A Trespasser

Funny story: Missouri Convent Nuns Beat The Hell Out Of A Trespasser

INDEPENDENCE, Missouri - The sign at the convent gate entrance reads "No Trespassing" and by golly you had better obey the son-of-a-gun sign! Two nuns Sister Connie and Sister Catarina were sitting out on the convent porch drinking milk and eating...

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Obama Administration Paid ACORN to Disrupt Town Meetings

Funny story: Obama Administration Paid ACORN to Disrupt Town Meetings

Washington DC: A startling revelation surfaced today at a congressional hearing, just as the Democratic National Committee (DNC) stepped up its rhetoric and innuendo to defame Americans who oppose health care reform. A former DNC operative (name w...

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