Britain's sex-services sector growing fast

Written by Frankie The J

Wednesday, 5 August 2009

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Strike up the Band! British whoremongers estatic over new study

Out of work Brits have a real chance for employment as entry level sex-services workers, so says The Chartered Institute for Purchasing and Supply.

The new report, released Wednesday, states, "(Our) monthly purchasing manager's index for the sex-services sector rose to 53.2 in July from 51.6 in June." The rise was bigger than anticipated in the markets and reinforces hopes that the British sex-services sector may in fact be growing again after its deepest recession since the Second World War.

Any reading above 50 indicates economic expansions, experts say. The greater the reading, the greater the expansion.

"July's reading was quite encouraging," said a smiling PM Gordon Brown. "The sex-services sector is key to whether the British economy is balls or bust.

"Even during the long reign of Queen Victoria, the sex-services industry accounted for two-thirds of total economic activity," said Prince Harry (and he should know!). The "Spare Heir," as Harry is known, is Britain's foremost expert (aside from his father) on the habits of British whores.

The British Tourism Office in London released its new fall slogan to encourage foreigners to travel to Britain:

"Our prostitutes are certified crab free!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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