LONDON,ENGLAND, UK Hideously deformed singing circus freak "Lady'll Gag Ya" was detained indefinitely today on charges of indecent exposure, willful destruction of a national treasure and suspicion of espionage.
Gag Ya was in London to negotiate a contract with AEG to replace similarly freakish, now deceased King of Pop, Soda and Cola Michael Jackson's defunct "This Is It" dates at the O2 Arena with her own "This Is Shit" tour.
Gag Ya is known mainly for her hits "No Pants" and "Just Poke My Face". She and her partner "Starlight" were world-famous streetwalkers; they advanced to pole dancers and Gag Ya has been quite excited to have recently become a featured lap dancer at the New York Street Revival and Trash Dance Strip Club. Gag Ya appeared wearing plastic bubbles only on the cover of the annual "Ho' 100" issue of "Rolling Stoned" in May 2009, resulting in record setting number of unsold copies.
Gag Ya's troubles began when she boarded a double decker bus for a sight seeing tour of London. The bus quickly emptied of other passengers after she climbed on clad only in a schoolboy's jacket and tie. No blouse, no pants, no panties. The retching, which came in 13 waves, was reportedly heard all over London.
Gas mask in place, the driver soon arrived at the first stop, the Palace at Westminister, to see Big Ben. Gag Ya demanded to be let off the bus to take pictures and as she did, the massive four faced clock, deemed the most accurate in the world, and arguably London's most beloved landmark, ground to a halt, with a loud gnashing of metal and shriek of gears. The driver was reported to have stated that it sounded like a mass slaughter of millions of pigs and opined that it may be what hell sounds like. Engineers discovered that the gears had somehow recoiled in revulsion so drastically that they had actually liquefied.
Queen Elizabeth II has declared a national day of mourning in memory of the beloved clock.