Doner Kebab Flavoured Noodle Pot Fury.
The market launch of 'Doner Kebab Flavour Noodle Pots by the Silver Miracle Corporation was today slammed by a coalition of kebab shop proprietors as an utter sham. Kebab shop owners, who usually charge around £3.50 for a small doner are furious t...Read full story
Top Gear Saved - Avadmedinnerdad Agrees To Be Clarkson's Penis
The Iranian ambassador to the real world has announced that President Avadmedinnerdad has accepted a nomination as Jeremy Clarkson's replacement phallus. In a shocking revelation, it has been revealed that Mr Avadmedinnerdad has been desirous of a...Read full story
Ryan O'Feel Recognises Own Daughter At Ex-wife's Funeral
Nyan O'Reel, star of many memorable movies of which very few people can remember the title, plot or cast, has triumphed in a career - enhancing PR stunt. His stunning blonde daughter, Tomatum (19), threw her arms around him just as her stepmother'...Read full story
Questions About Obama's Birthplace Dropped; Republicans to Focus on Conception-place
In a move intended to burnish a well-earned reputation for persistence, conservative Republicans across the land today signaled an end to their fruitless questioning of Obama's birthplace; switching instead to the far more interesting question of his...Read full story
Sir Bobby Robson rises from the dead
And lo, as it was written in the scripture of St James (Park), Sir Bobby Robson did rise again from the dead on the third day. And to a position of non-executive director was he appointed, to sit at the right hand of the chairman (known as God). A...Read full story
Taliban leader back from Gap Year in Surrey
Umer Khalid feared Taliban leader and famed warrior of Pakistan's North West Frontier suddenly reappeared some ten months after the Pakistani Army confirmed that they'd captured and killed to him death! Mr.Khalid explained to our reporter that he'...Read full story
Feds to Stamp Out NJ Corruption, Arrest All Citizens
In a daring cooperative sweep, federal law enforcement today moved to stamp out the corruption endemic in the state of NJ by arresting everyone. Honoring human values, children below the age of six will not be scared straight at Rahway State Pris...Read full story
Mystery Heath Ledger poster appears 'blacked up like Obama'
Los Angeles - (The Dark Fright Mess): A poster of Brokebarack Mountin' actor Heath Ledger showing his face blacked up to look like Barack Obama has appeared near the Hollywood Walk of Fame. The words 'No Joker' are scrawled at the bottom. A Los...Read full story
Miley Cyrus Answers Selena Gomez Back: "If I'm a slut, baby you're a motherf*****!"
Few days ago, Selena Gomez and Miley Cyrus were at it again. Yes, a new fight started by Miss Gomez this time. Who said Miley didn't have the right to reply? No one, indeed. Well, if you missed the news. Selena Gomez called Miley Cyrus "a pussy, a...Read full story
Tiger Woods: The Fart Heard Around The World
Sure Tiger Woods won the Buick Open for the third time Sunday, but the big news Monday is about that Tiger Woods fart on live camera. I guess that's the Tiger roar for another victory so expect to hear some more manly farts throughout the year. At...Read full story
Brobama Beer Is Here!
MILWAUKEE - The Lake Michigan Beer Brewing Company of Wisconsin has just held a press conference to announce its latest beer product, Brobama Beer named after the nation's first black/white president. The idea first came to Lake Michigan Beer Brew...Read full story
God to return from Vacation Tomorrow
Earth is in a mad dash to clean up the planet after God called to announce that he will be returning early from his vacation tomorrow. Said God, "I'll be arriving in the morning, and the place had better be spotless." Since leaving on vacation six th...Read full story
Rare Recording Found Of Jimi Hendrix On Banjo
A Nashville, Tennessee man, whose mother had recently passed away, was looking through all the junk she had in the attic and what should he come across but a rare record LP of "Jimi Hendrix on the Banjo". "You should have seen me falling down thos...Read full story
Strain of swine 'flu 'seriously ill'
A strain of swine 'flu was admitted to the Gloucester Redd Hospital in Gloucester today, after showing signs of 'not being strong enough to keep newspapers filled for much longer'. The 'flu was put into an isolation ward where only journalists - w...Read full story
Cuckold Doodle Who?
MIAMI BEACH, FLA, USA Mr. Clucky Rooster, Esquire, was named Best Activist in Miami Beach, 2008, by Metromix magazine. Clucky is also a mascot for EarthSave, Critical Mass and PETA. Clucky believes in peace, protecting the earth and being kind to ani...Read full story
Celebrities Gain Weight Too - Deliciousness Blamed
Emerging research suggests that celebrities, as well as ordinary people, may pack on the pounds. The evils of deliciousness, widely observed and deplored in everyday, as well as star-studded life, torment almost everyone with only a few notable e...Read full story
Obama: "Birthers," the best damned argument for abortion upon demand
As a man, I have always struggled to keep my opinions about abortion to myself. I cannot bear a child, and have no desire to inflict my point of view upon a woman whose reasons for requesting such a procedure may be far outside my comfort zone. Even so, I must agree with President Barack Obama's call for a constitutional amendment requiring the late, late, late term abortion of Rush Limbaugh...Read full story
Phelps Smokes Competitions, Wins Fifth
ROME, ITALY American Michael Phelps was honored as the outstanding male swimmer at the conclusion of eight days of competition at the Foro Italico world swimming championships; in total he received five golds and a silver. Phelps set two individual...Read full story
Proud Africa reveals 1st swine flu fatality but forgets other millions dying of HIV, war crimes, genocide, starvation, etc, etc!
Proudly, Africa announced it's first swine flu fatality and the rest of the world answered, "so f*cking what!" The African continent cursed by aids victims, war victims, lepra victims, malaria victims, hunger victims, you name it, they've got it v...Read full story
Hulk Hogan Has Fallen For Stacy Keibler
HOLLYWOOD - Now that his divorce is final, ex-wrestling sensation Hulk Hogan has admitted that he is dating ex-wrestling sensation Stacy Keibler. The Hulkster said that the sexy and sultry Stacy was there for him in his time of depressed depressio...Read full story
Stupid American Hikers: "We wanted to be thrown in Iranian Prison"
The three young American hikers who crossed into Iran from northern Iraq were captured according to their plan by border guards this weekend. The official Iranian new agency I'Liealot quoted Iranian government officials who quoted the border guards...Read full story
CNN Fires Lou Dobbs - Replaces Him With Ann Coulter
NEW YORK CITY - After being subjected to a tremendous amount of pressure and criticism from corporate sponsors CNN has decided to let veteran talk show host Lou Dobbs go. The move really came as no surprise to the 63-year-old crotchety Dobbs who s...Read full story
Harriet Harman blames swine flu on male pigs
Labour's deputy leader Harriet Harman blamed today swine flu pandemic on male pigs. "All males are pigs", she said, "But male pigs are even more pigs". Ms Harman claimed that she has a DNA evidence that the very first swine flu case was registered...Read full story
Canada Dedicates indoor "Miracle" Hockey Rink
Anaconda, Canada - Canadian Prime Minister John Bluballs was in town today to dedicate the new state of the art 2000 seat Boys Club indoor hockey rink. "It's truly amazing that a small town like Anaconda, on the shore of the Arctic Sea, would raise t...Read full story
Hillary Clinton Arrested in Kenya after Obama remark
Nairobi - Hillary Clinton was today arrested in Nairobi following Obama's comments about Kenya when he visited Ghana. Mr. Obama had referred to Kenya as a "hamburger," which according to Kenyan tradition is very embarrassing. "I was not born in th...Read full story
Mel Gibson Or TinkerMel?
What's happened to Mel Gibson lately? He's being led around by his Russian lady and he looks like he's aged at least ten years. Check some of his latest pics. Maybe he's taken on more than he can chew! Reports lately have him walking around and...Read full story
Barclays £3bn profit built on strategy of actually getting loans paid back
Barclays stunned the city and defied economic gloom today with increased profits of up to £3bn. Industry insiders are pinning the success on a revolutionary "payback" strategy. The strategy is based on pioneering business theory that bank profitab...Read full story
National Black Police Association Announces First White Candidate For National Chairman
There was uproar in Africa this afternoon when, ahead of the National Black Police Association 2009 Annual General Meeting, it was announced that the first white candidate was to stand for election as the organisation's National Chairman. The AGM...Read full story
Manchester City Don't Buy Ex-Rochdale Striker Lee McEvilly
They may have bought up nearly everyone else, but there was relief this morning when Manchester City manager Mark Hughes confirmed that he has absolutely no interest whatsoever in securing the services of former Rochdale striker Lee McEvilly. The...Read full story
This is good shit!
ROCKWOOD, PA-- PETA, and the rest of the "scientific" turd for brains asswipes who say that dairy farming is degrading to bovines and produces nothing but bull shit and methane gas that destroys the ozone can relax their tight asses, if that is at al...Read full story
BNP leader appears on Desert Island Discs
Nick Griffin, odious leader of the bunch of racist thugs who hijack democracy to masquerade under the title of a political party - viz the BNP - is to appear on the BBC insitution, Desert Island Discs. Presenter, the fragrant Kirstie Young, said:...Read full story
Hull City Fans Block Samaritans Switchboard
Hull City fans, desperate at the lack of activity in the close-season transfer market by manager Phil Brown and chairman Paul Duffen, have hit rock bottom before the campaign has even begun, and have turned to the one organisation that claims to be a...Read full story
Burundi Anti-Fop Law: "Go gay, go away!"
Georgette Gagnon, the African Director of Human Rights Watch, insisted that Burundi's new anti-homosexual law is degrading, and demanded it must be repealed. The new law makes "sexual relations with persons of the same sex" illegal and punishable by...Read full story
Effort Underway to Identify Remains Found on Italian Beach.
A recently discovered skeleton found south of Rome is set to undergo extensive testing to pin down a genetic profile, and further shed light on the circumstances of death. As it stands now, a cursory examination of the find suggests the man was kille...Read full story
Demi Lovato Beats Miley Cyrus, For Real!
Demi Lovato is clearly the new BIG thing! She even beat Miley Cyrus as her sophomore album debuted at #1 while Miley's Hannah Montana 3 soundtrack debuted at #2; a feat for Demi who clearly does not have the same promotional power as Miley and her te...Read full story
Jessica Simpson takes break from men, calls Lindsay Loham for advice
Jessica Simpson, the gal guys love to hate, is taking a break from the dating scene, so say friends close to the silly bitch. "She wants to know what it is about her that repels men," said one BFF. Following her much publicized break up wit...Read full story
Phelps Wins, Without Suit
ROME, ITALY American Michael Phelps won his fourth gold medal of the world swimming championships when he beat Serbian loudmouth Milorad Cavic, becoming the first swimmer to break 50 seconds in the 100-meter butterfly. Phelps beat Cavic with a stu...Read full story
"M and M" Melt Down On Jerry Springer
CHICAGO, IL, USA Chaos erupted on the set of the "Jerry Springer Show" today when guests and former lovers who prefer to be called "Mariah" and "Marshall" took their disagreement to the physical level, as is frequently the case on "Springer". Duri...Read full story
Surprise! President Obama Turns 48
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The nation's 'First Mama' aka Michelle Obama is throwing her husband, the 'Main Bro' a surprise birthday party to be held at the White House's Rose Garden, which is also now known as The Beer Buddies Bar. The president will be 4...Read full story
Micheal Jackson's Body Discovered at Factory
Police were bombarded with thousands of phone calls, and e-mails by those claiming to know the whereabouts of Micheal Jackson's body. One such unidentified source called authorities with a tip that lead police to the missing body of Micheal Jacks...Read full story
Spoof Editors Blame "Too Much Pussy" for Sticky Situation
The editors of "fake news" website TheSpoof.com declared a "no tolerance" policy today on gimmicky news stories that use the obvious "pussy" in place of "cat". The announcement comes just hours after a new research study was published by the Spoof Te...Read full story
Oh Where, Oh Where Has Everyone Gone?
FORT MEYER, FLA, USA In the worst case of ostracism in recorded history, an unidentified Florida family awakened this morning to discover that the other 198 units in their 32 story building of upscale apartments, Tower II, had been abandoned, virtual...Read full story