Plastic Surgery Definitely Not Half Assed

Funny story written by Nailer

Wednesday, 5 August 2009

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New York City - Austin Trever, lawyer for prominent socialite Doris Hansen has announced the filing of an astronomical lawsuit.

Suing for five hundred million dollars Trever alleges that Dr. Marc Sterling destroyed the face of his former wife with malicious intent to harm. embarrass and make her into a social outcast.

The details of what happened seem simple. Ms. Hansen was undergoing surgery at Manhattan Grand Hospital for a face lift and other minor work. During the operation her surgeon, Dr. William Graves, suddenly died. With the surgery in progress the hospital had no choice but to substitute another surgeon. On call that day was Dr. Sterling, the former husband of Ms. Hansen. This fact and additionally that she had received nearly all assets and property in the divorce settlement was unknown by the hospital.

When Dr. Sterling arrived he did not inform anyone of his relationship to the patient but continued the stalled procedure.

"It seemed to be taking much longer than most face lifts I have been associated with in the past", said Patsy Nunamaker, a registered nurse who was in the operating room.

Upon finishing the operation Dr. Sterling told the nurses that complications had necessitated the bandages stay on for at least two days.

After the two days nurses removed the bandages and "nearly fainted" as they saw buttocks with eyes staring back at them.

It then dawned on the nurses that the substitute surgeon had "re-constucted the patients face to resemble her ass with her nose and mouth deep within the crevice."

"Watching her drink or eat was absolutely disgusting, not to mention wiping her mouth", said Consuella Martinez an attending nurse. "Once she stuck out her tongue and I nearly lost it", she said.

The reaction of Dr. Sterling, now in San Felipe, Mexico was shocking. He told our correspondent that "I realize it will be difficult for her to eat corn on the cob but she treated me like a dog. Now she can experience some of the same. She'll be able to lick her own ass."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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