Pacific Heights, San Francisco - (Rust Bucket Mess): San Francisco Cockfish football team owner Paul Pelosi is rumored to be trading in his longtime clunker of 46 years under a government-sponsored scrappage scheme.
The deal will see Nancy Reagan Pelosi, 69, swapped for a highly toned, super performing new model rumored to be UFL cheerleader Bobbie Buckley, 19.
News of the scrappage was leaked this week after the nickname 'Cockfish', registered with the US Patent and Trademark Orifice, turned out to be a front for the 40DD-24-34 cheerleader's Fillmore Street condom-inium.
At her Georgetown, DC, grace and favor residence Speaker Pelosi told reporters to 'F**k Off' before slamming shut the front door.
Harry Reid is stoned on weed.