BLUEBELL LAKES, ENGLAND, UK Queen Elizabeth II ordered all flags throughout the United Kingdom to be flown at half mast today in memory of Benson, the 64 pound carp which lived at Bluebell Lakes.
He was not terribly smart, having been caught 63 times in the past twenty five years. The average lifespan of a carp is approximately forty five years; there have been claims of carp living to age seventy.
Autopsy results revealed that Benson did not die of natural causes; toxicology reports proved that he had indeed ingested a toxic substance.
A reward has been issued for information leading to the arrest of Benson's murderer.
The Jackson family reportedly believes that there is an obvious connection between Benson's demise and the death of Michael Jackson in America; unbelievably, both were believed to have been poisoned, both were relatively young, both were major celebrities, and, most suspiciously, Jackson was planning to move to England within mere days of his death and Benson was a life long resident! Relatives deny that Benson ever abused prescription drugs and had recently passed a grueling physical; he had been seen swimming about mere hours before his dead body was discovered floating at the top of the lake.
Katherine Jackson has demanded that Scotland Yard immediately launch an investigation into the connection between Michael and Benson; she believes the information will help solve the mystery surrounding her son's death.
