Spoof Writers Meet - Break Space/Time Continuum

Written by Roy Turse

Wednesday, 5 August 2009

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The Skoob/Morse meeting may have blocked the Lorentzian Manifold and broken General Relativity

Portsmouth, UK: Concern is growing after two writers at theSpoof.com from completely different time zones met up in Portsmouth today. Skoob and Morse appear to have unwittingly broken the laws of Physics by appearing together in the same point in space/time. The event seems to have created a time paradox which could threaten all mankind.

The portents have been there for a while. Esteemed Spoofmeister-In-Charge Mark Lowton told us, "The timings of comments posted on the forums have been going mental over the last week or so and the points all went wrong too. I knew something dreadful was probably going to happen but everyone thought it was down to me."

Mark now believes that the message timings were actually correct, but that the world's time zones were actually slipping in advance of the cataclysmic meeting between the two Spoofers. "In Skoob's timeframe the meeting happened yesterday, whereas for Morse they won't see each other until tomorrow. And it seems that Time, itself, is attempting to redress the issue."

And it is this redress that Mark thinks could signal the beginning of a fourth-dimensional catastrophe. He is concerned that a time loop could be created or that an unnatural point of divergence will occur. "Skoob and Morse may even have merged to become a single entity writing under different names. I know, it sounds ridiculous, but it's a well-discussed concept."

He is also worried that a small piece of time may have broken off the continuum and fractured into irresolvable time-splinters. Although these would be only a few chronons each, they could interfere with normal time, creating temporal discordance. If this proves to be the case, and Mark is unable to get things back under control, he might not get paid last month.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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